6:39 PM, Sunday April 28th 2024
Hello Sumi978, thank you for getting back to me with your revisions.
Starting with your leaves they are looking much more tightly constructed and specific which helps them look more solid overall, however for this structure you did skip the initial boundary that all later leaf structures should abide to, don't forget to always apply this important step. In order to keep your structures tight and specific don't leave gaps in between a leaf's flow line and it's outer edges.
Something to note is that your leaf structures don't fold or bend in any way in this page, this is something to keep an eye on whenever you tackle this exercise again, as leaves are organic structures that are affected by all sorts of forces, from the wind to gravity to their own weight pulling them down, as such you'll find that in plant structures leaves will actually be oriented in a variety of different ways, and you'll improve much more by thinking about the way these objects look when they move through the world from moment to moment, instead of just trying to capture how they sit statically within it.
When it comes to your addition of edge detail you must also spend more time with it, it's really good that you are generally constructing it additively, that is, on top of the marks you've already drawn and that you're keeping the line thickness consistent in between stages of construction, but you're usually zigzagging your marks which are is a mistake that goes against the third principle of mark making from Lesson 1.
Moving on to your branches you are still deviating from the instructions for this exercise, you're not following the instructions for how to draw the edges as shown in the exercise instructions. So do not forget how branches should be approached, by having your segment start at the first ellipse point, extending it past the second ellipse and fully up to the halfway point to the third ellipse, afterwards you'll start a new segment, making sure to place your pen at the second ellipse and repeat this pattern until your entire branch is complete.
For your plant constructions it seems similar issues are still present in your new homework pages such as:
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Not drawing through some of your forms, which can be seen here and here.
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Generic and unplanned hatching used arbitrarily in your pages. Hatching in Drawabox has very specific purposes to achieve, in boxes we use it to show which side of the form is turned towards the viewer, in constructions we use it to push certain structures back in space and help separate them alongside added lineweight but this needs to be applied to specific places, otherwise it will flatten the entire structure. You add your hatching to all of your petals here which kills the natural flow of the structures.
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Deviating from the instructions to the exercises. For these small branches and this entire branch structure you haven't started them with a minor axis. You have also not drawn your forking branch structures with the correct method outlined in here which allows you to make the relationships between the forms much more specific.
In general you are still committing some of the mistakes present in your original constructions. It's important that you read carefully over the feedback you've recieved and apply it thoroughly to your homework, whenever you have any doubts or questions about any of the instructions for the exercise don't forget to revisit the lesson material or ask for help in one of the lesson channels in the Drawabox discord.
Overall I don't believe you will benefit much from further revisions and as such I'll be marking this submission as complete. These issues can be easily addressed during yor warm ups but it's a matter of applying the feedback you've received in order to continue developing your skills. Good luck in Lesson 4.
Next Steps:
Don't forget to add these exercises to your list of warm ups.
Move on to Lesson 4.