Alchivistes

I can see that you have applied the guides nicely, and it's expected to make mistakes during it. In any case, the revisions you sent show that you have acquired the understanding of the concepts and have developed better skills in estimating proportions, some of your cylinders in boxes being really nice. You'll definitely have more time to practice them during the later lessons and warmups, of course. But, for now, I don't see any reason to hold you back any longer from going into L6. I wish you the best of luck there, as these last lessons will truly put your skills to the test :)

Hello DCP,

I'll be having a look at your submission today.

Looking at your normal cylinders, I see a lot of good, the degree changes are visible and the ellipses are drawn through twice. It seems you were a bit too careful though, and some your ellipses lack confidence and end up a bit wobbly, this is especially visible in larger ellipses (89, 39 and 40 for example). Be mindful of that for your next attempts, confidence over accuracy is the motto of this course. I can see that you tried to vary the orientations, but it seems you could have gone further by having cylinders with overlapping ellipses (seen from the front), as shown in this image https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/365180330103013388/924972804640755753/image0_.jpg

The foreshortening and sizes are a bit too similar, and I believe you could attempt more extreme foreshortening. There is a relationship between ellipse degree change and size, the more extreme the foreshortening, the larger the degree change will be, which I don't think I saw during your attempts, but that's fine. Overall, it is a nice job and I can see that you put in the effort, practice and care into it.

Moving on to your boxed cylinders, I can also see that you put in the care and practice into doing them. Unfortunately, it seems there are specific issues that need to be addressed. As your submission stands, it seems that you experimented with different orientations and foreshortening (although some of them have too little foreshortening and almost seem like they have parallel convergences, like 239 and 230). However, there are critical steps in the verification process that you forgot to do. All of your inside cylinders show little degree change and foreshortening, which is not consistent with the foreshortening in your boxes. As shown here https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/88b497e2.jpg, the sides of the cylinder should converge to the VP of the associated edges in the boxes, same goes for the minor axes. From your different attempts, I do not see extension lines for the minor axes and the cylinders, which voids the method. The cylinder is a tool to verify if your boxes actually have square sides, and how you manipulated the inside cylinders doesn't help in actually verifying it. There seems to be not a lot of variation as well in the dimensions of the boxes. You can achieve square sides with any arbitrary Y, the more difference there is in the different lengths of the Y, the more extreme the associated foreshortening will be in order to achieve opposite square faces. Therefore, I believe some more practice will benefit you. I'll explain them in the revisions tab.

Hello Comfy,

Thanks a lot for taking the time to write such a lengthy and honest comment. I really appreciate it and it is really really helpful to us :). Here are the redos https://imgur.com/a/NPNhd40

Arch

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1kBuzM6tIayVi0cXb91DSD9zgxwTB-8SG/view?usp=sharing

Hello Comfy,

Here are the redos. I feel like it's useful to mention that both Arch and I did them (mine have a bunny stamp), since we can have different skills with the same knowledge. I will use I for the sake of this message. Anyway, I feel like I got a better understanding of flow, and it really helped to track how much time I took and making sure that I spent enough time on the first steps, even if it feels enticing to put a mark down quickly because you feel like it's the right one, when it usually isn't. I still had trouble with the branch ellipses and the change in degrees, but I feel like I sort of understood that by the end. It really helped us to slow down, and do one construction a day in multiple sessions (or sometimes we would stretch it on two days, anyway) instead of the 2 or even 3 we used to do before. This allowed us to carefully check each of our marks relative to the rules of foreshortening, degree change etc. I am eager to see what you have to tell about them.

Just another note, I noticed that I mistakenly applied form shading on the seed pod and the rose, I will be more careful next times.

Kawa

Thanks for the critique. I see places where I can improve indeed. Especially in terms of cleanliness of the outcome for the last two exercises. Will be specifically mindful of that during warm-ups, thanks!

Thank you for the insightful critique. Onward to the dreaded sausages!

Thanks for the reply and also for the video, really helpful for the critique.

Looking at both of your exercises, your linework has improved and has become more confident, there's less wobble overall. However, I still notice two things that you work on, but you'll do that during the box challenge:

• Your lines have a bit of an arch at the very beginning and then straighten themselves out. I believe this is either due to you compensating at the very beginning or the way you draw them. This is minor though.

• A bit of arching as well in some lines, especially for the organic perspective. Minor as well, you'll get a lot more practice doing the rest of the course. To prevent arching, try to consciously arch in the other direction while ghosting, you will probably overadjust at first which will make you arch in the other direction but you'll eventually adjust it over time.

Finally, looking at the video of you ghosting, your posture is great and elbow movements are quite minimal (though needed when drawing on an inclined surface). I tend to ghost and mark a little bit faster, which could take care of the small issues your lines have, but that's highly personal, so you can experiment. One last piece of advice for the box challenge, since it tends to exagerate quirks in linework because you focus more on the box, is to really take the time to think each line as a separate ghosting exercise. For example, I plot all the points for my faces and then ghost them. Other than that, you're ready for the 250 box challenge, good luck :)

Hi, I'm creating another critique to complement and infer on Omar's critique.

Overall difficulties

In all of the exercises, both on lines and ellipses, I notice wobble. This indicates that you are focusing on accuracy instead of the marking confident lines. Having confident lines, however imprecise they are is a necessity for the rest of the course. Therefore you'll need to work some more on them. To do so, ghost them at a slightly fast speed, so that you don't have time to compensate as you draw, and then mark in a single coordinated hand motion. Same for ellipses, ghost them and then you should be able to complete the marking with your eyes closed, so that you prevent yourself from adjusting.

Lines

• Most of your superimposed lines have fraying at the beginning and the end. While fraying at the end is normal, fraying at the beginning indicates that you have not taken the time to properly put your pen at the start point of the line/curve.

• Same advice as for the paragraph above for ghosted lines/planes, focus on confidence over accuracy, it doesn't matter if they over-/undershoot.

• I don't see any start/end points for the middle lines in the ghosted planes, you need to plot them to properly make us of the ghosting method.

Ellipses

• Some ellipses in your table of ellipses exercise aren't drawn through twice or thrice. Other than that and the paragraph about confidence, the exercise is okay.

• Ellipses in planes are significantly distorted for the reasons stated above.

• The funnels do not have enough of an angle, ellipses are distorted even though the minor axes are all aligned correctly. Try to increase the angle of the funnel, to have more variety in the sizes, and add some corner funnels, like the ones you can see in the lesson material.

Boxes

• Plotted perspective exercise is all right. More boxes, especially above the horizon lines would be appreciated. To do so, make the frame larger. Also try to hatch only the same side every time.

• You forgot to extend the lines of your boxes for the rough perspective, therefore I cannot check the convergence.

• Rotated boxes exercise is misunderstood. It is a difficult exercise though, so no worries.

• Organic perspective boxes need more variety. Some of them are not complete or have incoherent construction (diverging lines, 2VP convergence instead of 3VP). Some lines are also drawn twice or thrice, no need to do that in your submissions.

Conclusion

Looking at the greater picture of the submission, I notice a few significant issues that will greatly hinder your progression for the rest of the course, therefore, I'll have to ask you to do a few things to prepare yourself better, in the following order:

*For all the exercises that use frames, you'll need to make the frames larger (almost the length of the page and half the height).

For all of the exercises asked, please reread the lesson material prior to doing the exercise*

1. I'll repeat Omar's advice and ask you to do one page of ellipses in planes. This will allow you to work on your confidence and practice the ghosting method.

2. Optionally, a page of Table of Ellipses, to practice ellipses more specifically.

3. Send your already done rough perspective boxes with the extensions made to check the convergence.

4. Optionally as well, one page of organic perspective, with a focus on 3VP construction, a variety of shapes (elongated boxes, etc) and sizes along the line.

5. Watch the video for the rotated boxes again, and try to assess where you had difficulties. I won't ask you to redo it since it is a very tedious and difficult exercise, and I'm already asking a lot of revisions.

This is asking a lot, but I hope you will understand that I'm doing this to prevent you a lot of frustration and hardship during the 250 box challenge

Just replying to say that you can use the already made ghosted planes for the ellipses in planes, as said in the lesson material.

remember those planes you drew as part of the lines section of this lesson? Find those pages (hopefully you didn't toss them out, burn them, or use them as nest materials for your pet bird), because we're gonna need 'em.

There are plenty of things missing in your critique, especially on line confidence which is far more important, I'll do another critique to provide additional feedback.

Also, Omar I see you are trying to critique a few lesson 1 subs. Thank you for taking the time to critique. However, I believe you should wait until you are done with lesson 1 and have had your submission approved. If I could offer some advice in the case you still want to critique, since it will help both the person you are critiquing and also yourself since you'll be more aware of the workings of the lesson, I'd suggest that you have a look at this guide for L1 critique written by Elodin: https://pastebin.com/dYnFt9PQ

Hi,

I'll be reviewing your submission today. Let's have a look at it :)

DIsclaimer: I will point out what needs to be improved on, so it might be negative-heavy, understand that you don't have to do perfect work, it's just so that you can be mindful of them when you practice them as warm-up. Everything not said is a positive.

Lines

• a bit of wobbliness for the curved superimposed lines, rest is good.

• Your lines in both the ghosted lines and planes are arching for the most part. When ghosting them, try to consciously arch in the other direction before marking. More lines for the ghosted line would be appreciated.

• Some of your ghosted planes are missing middle lines. Did you plot both start and end points for your initial lines and middle lines? I can't see them on any of the planes. You need to plot both start and end points for the ghosting technique to work, otherwise you're freehanding them.

• Lines are less (but still) curved in the box exercises, so I'll assume you have improved on the arching. More improvements will be made during the course of the box challenge and warmups.

Ellipses

• Ellipses are a bit wobbly on the table of ellipses exercise, aim for confidence over accuracy, doesn't matter if the other passes are not close to the first pass. Also, aim to do 2 passes for all your ellipses, some have 3 and more and that hinders clarity.

• Ellipses in planes are also wobbly and distorted, because you also aimed for accuracy. Ghost them properly and then mark in one single coordinated movement. You'll prevent yourself from adjusting by doing so, leading to more confident lines.

• Ellipses in funnels are all slanted, and wobbly for the most part. Same advice as above applies. Varierty of size is good, try to do some corner funnels as well next time.

Boxes

• Plotted perspective could benefit from more lineweight around the boxes in frame 1 and 3, or less lineweight for the perspective lines.

• Rough perspective boxes have alright convergences, linework is a bit wobbly and curved at times but not too significantly so. Some lines are drawn twice, no need to redraw them if you messed one line.

• Rotated boxes are way too small for the sake of the exercise, that's why you had a lot of trouble fitting even two rotations. Front faces could use more lineweight and sides of the boxes could be hatched for clarity if you were to redo the exercise with larger initial boxes. The exercise is supposed to be really difficult so no worries.

• Organic perspective boxes could benefit from more diversity in the shapes. A lot of boxes have diverging edges, which is fine for now but won't be in the box challenge (since they are not constructionally accurate).

• Some lines are drawn twice, no need to do so. Same goes with messed up boxes, no need to hatch them, let the reviewer see the mistake to better help you.

Conclusion

While your ellipses are a bit wobbly, I believe you will have ample time to practice them during your warmup sessions for the box challenge. The boxes are good enough to not hinder progress during the box challenge, where you will have ample time to practice them and reinforce both your linework and your boxes. Be really mindful of the curved lines, because these will make it more difficult to properly assess the perspective. If you feel that you need a bit more practice for the lines, you can do a page of ellipses in planes, but you can directly move on to the box challenge as well.