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5:01 PM, Tuesday July 5th 2022

I'll be the TA handling your Lesson 2 critique.

You're making progress towards understanding the concepts introduced in this lesson and hopefully this critique will help you in your future attempts.

  • Starting off with the arrows section you want to be making sure you're drawing confidently to keep your arrows as smooth as possible, accuracy will come with mileage. There are spots where your arrows bulge/narrow suddenly, this is an issue because it gives the impression that your arrows are stretching which hurts their solidity. Remember that as our arrows move closer to the viewer we want them to widen consistently. This is a good exercise to experiment with line weight but when applying it we want to make sure we do subtly to key areas like overlaps to give clarity to our forms. Here are some things to look out for when applying line weight, and here are some reminders on how to apply it subtly. At times you don't overlap your edges when you should, this results in your arrows flattening out as you can see here. I'd like you to experiment more with foreshortening in your future attempts, by utilizing it in both the arrows themselves as well as the negative space between their curves we can create a stronger illusion of an object moving through 3D space as demonstrated here.

  • Moving into the organic forms with contours exercise your forms are getting a bit too complex. We want to create our forms with both ends being the same size and to avoid any pinching, bloating, or stretching along the form's length as discussed here. Some of your line work here shows a lack of confidence, remember that our first priority is that we want all of our linework/ellipses/contours to be drawn confidently. Speaking of contours I'd like you to try and shift the degree of your contours more. The degree of a contour line basically represents the orientation of that cross-section in space, relative to the viewer, and as we slide along the sausage form, the cross section is either going to open up (allowing us to see more of it) or turn away from the viewer (allowing us to see less), as shown here.

  • In the texture section you're demonstrating good observational skills by being able to separate and clearly focus on the cast shadows formed along your reference. You're doing a good job of transitioning your gradients from dark to light as well rather than having sudden changes. Before moving on to the next section I'd like to quickly point you to this image which shows that when working with thin line like textures we benefit from outlining and filling the shadow's shape rather than just drawing a line. We get much more dynamic and interesting results this way. Remember that each texture is it's own challenge so be sure to experiment with different types when practicing this exercise in the future.

  • It's quite common for people to feel like they don't fully grasp the form intersections exercise, if you feel like you may fall into this category try not to stress too much. This exercise is just meant to get students to start thinking about how their forms relate to one another in 3D space, and how to define those relationships on the page. We'll be going over them more in the upcoming lessons. While your forms are looking pretty solid here your linework needs to be addressed, it appears like you've neglected the principles of line making from lesson 1 throughout this submission so your lines either end up lacking confidence or overly sketchy which makes your work messier than it needs to be.

  • While wrapping up your submission with the organic intersections exercise you do a great job demonstrating that your sense of 3D space is developing as your forms begin to wrap around each other believably. You're keeping your forms simple and easy to work with which is a good strategy to help produce good results. When it comes to your shadows you're pushing them enough so that they cast rather than just hugging the form that creates them which is a great start. Your shadows appear to be following a consistent light source, be sure to experiment with different angles and intensities when trying this exercise again in the future. I recommend pushing your light source to the top left or right corner of the page to start with, it's easier than working with a light directly above your form pile.

I won't be moving you on to the next lesson just yet, each lesson builds upon each other and I'd like to make sure you understand a few of these concepts a bit more before potentially creating more problems down the road.

With that being said I'd like you to please re-read the page regarding markmaking and complete:

  • 1 page of organic forms with contours

  • 1 page of form intersections

Once you've completed the pages mentioned above reply to this critique with a link to them, I'll go over them and address anything that needs to be worked on and once you've shown you're ready for the next lesson I'll move you on.

I look forward to seeing your work.

Next Steps:

  • 1 page of organic forms with contours

  • 1 page of form intersections

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
1:21 AM, Wednesday July 6th 2022

https://imgur.com/a/HWwDVA9

Thanks for the awesome critique i appreciate the thorough response :)

I hope this reply shows some improvement.

5:43 PM, Wednesday July 6th 2022

These still suffer from a lack of confidence, and rushing (your hatching isn't evenly spaced) at times and your lines still break quite often.

These are issues that I brought up in your critique and specifically pointed to needing to be addressed so I'll be asking you to redo these pages.

This is covered in the markmaking section I linked to previously but here it is again for convenience.

I recommend that you not rush to get your revisions done, but rather take the time to absorb what has been shared with you in this critique, review the materials I've referenced, and generally allow that information to sink in, which does not happen immediately.

Next Steps:

  • 1 page of organic forms with contours

  • 1 page of form intersections

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
1:28 AM, Thursday July 7th 2022

https://imgur.com/a/JT1jkCk

This time i tried to press my pen more firmly so lines didnt break, and i tried to take more time with things like the hatching and the exercises in general.

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