Hello again, Piapal! I'm Keisari42, and perhaps you'll remember me as the one who critiqued your Lesson 1 submission. Well, I'm back for more and I'll be the one to critique your Lesson 2 submission this time around! Before getting into it, congratulations on going through Lesson 2!
Thinking in 3D
Your organic forms are pretty good. Overall, your strokes are pretty confident and you've done well capturing the shape of the sausages, however, I'd like to note you shouldn't be doing waves for your minor axes and they should have a consistent width. You should also probably work on more confident ellipses -- remember, confidence over accuracy -- and varying their degrees more. Keep that in mind for your future warmups.
Your organic arrows, however, are extremely confusing. They loop and bend around themselves and seem not to follow any rules nor to be moving through 3D space, and your lines are wobbly, unconfident and don't seem to flow. Here's some comments on one of your arrows citing a few of its mistakes. You don't seem to have quite understood the exercise itself nor what it's supposed to teach you. I'll ask you to redo this exercise; make sure to read through the exercise page and watch Uncomfortable's video again. Be patient and follow the instructions the best you can.
Texture and Detail
You've done fantastic in this section of the Lesson. Your texture analysis exercise is specially impressive. You're doing amazing in capturing the cast shadows rather than outlines and drawing implicitly rather than explicitly. For dissections, you did well with wrapping the texture around the form and made good use of breaking the sillhouetes to better convey it. I truly do not have much to point out, but if I am to nitpick, you seem to have done form shading on this and this -- there is nothing casting a shadow upon the surface of the scales, so they themselves should not get darker as they get further away but rather the shadows they're casting upon each other, so the 'crevices' inbetween one scale and the next, should get bigger. The same is true for the water, although there's not much about the texture of water you can convey using only cast shadows, so I'd generally stay away from that kind of texture in Drawabox's approach.
Construction
The main objective of the Form Intersections exercise is to make all the forms on the page appear as if they're on the same scene, through the use of consistent, shallow foreshortening. In that regard, you did well. Your main issue lies within the hatching, which is pretty inconsistent. Avoid hatching lines that stop at arbitrary distances and do not curve them. The intersections themselves are not as important, but you did relatively well; if you wish to understand them better in the next times you do this exercise, I'd recommend checking out the Form Intersections First Aid Pack and this interactive website.
As for your Organic Intersections, you did good making them stable, obeying gravity and conveying weight; they're generally pretty convincing. That being said, there are two main issues I'd like to point out; firstly, they seem to sometimes cut into one another and not respect each other's boundaries. Despite the name of this exercise, that is not one of its objectives. Rather than thinking about how they'd intersect each other, you are to think about how they'd conform to one another's weight, slumping and sagging where it'd make sense for them to do so with their volume in mind. Secondly, it looks like you didn't think too much about the cast shadows, how they should be placed and interact with the surfaces they're being cast upon, rather simply adding them near points of contact between the forms. You also seem to have used a brush pen or something similar in order to fill in the shadows, and while it's perfectly fine to do so, it shouldn't be used to apply line weight and I don't see why you would use it on the ellipses, either. I'll also be asking for revisions here -- make sure to to go through the exercise page and Uncomfortable's demo again.
Next Steps:
One page of the Organic Arrows exercise.
One page of the Organic Intersections exercise.
Hi Keisari! Thank you so much for providing such great feedback. It helped me a lot and I very much appreciate it :D
I'll be working on my HW throughout the next days. But before that, I've got a few questions to ask you:
"I'd like to note you shouldn't be doing waves for your minor axes and they should have a consistent width"
What do you mean by waves? Do you mean those lines that go throughout the middle of the sausage? They're wavy and I should keep them straight? And by a consistent width-- I changed the width of my ellipses on purpouse because I thought that depending on how the sausage would turn in space, the degree of the ellipse would change-- (Seems like I applied the concept wrong, is that the case?)
And thank you so much for providing those extra links for me to check out- they look very helpful :D!
All in all, Thank you so much and I hope that you have a great day :)
The lines that go through the middle of the sausage are the minor axes (that's the plural form of 'axis', apparently), yes, and they're supposed to be curved, not straight, but not waves. A wave is just a curve that turns more than once. The one sausage I linked is the only one where you've done a wave instead of a curve, so don't worry that much about it.
And by consistent width, I refer to the shape of the sausage itself, not to the ellipses. The width/degree of your ellipses is fine. What i mean is that your sausages should basically be spheres connected by tubes of consistent width, as detailed here.
Okay great!! Thank you!!
Hi Keisari!
Here's my HW.
I did the exercises twice because I wanted to practice a bit more. (Plus, I kind of got the hang of the arrows exercice once I finished the first page, that's why I wrote myself a few corrections. The reason why I re-did it because I didn't want to hand in a self-corrected HW, when it's supposed to be corrected by others.)
Anyway that's all. Hope you have a great day and thanks for taking a look at it :D
Here we're getting into the subjective - Gerald Brom is one of my favourite artists (and a pretty fantastic novelist!). That said, if I recommended art books just for the beautiful images contained therein, my list of recommendations would be miles long.
The reason this book is close to my heart is because of its introduction, where Brom goes explains in detail just how he went from being an army brat to one of the most highly respected dark fantasy artists in the world today. I believe that one's work is flavoured by their life's experiences, and discovering the roots from which other artists hail can help give one perspective on their own beginnings, and perhaps their eventual destination as well.
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