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1:26 AM, Saturday April 9th 2022

You can just finish the remaining three.

11:22 PM, Friday April 22nd 2022

Hello! I finished my revisions:

https://imgur.com/a/wGXaPbP

Thank you for critiquing.

7:34 PM, Monday April 25th 2022

Overall you've definitely improved, both compared to before, and across this set of revisions. Your spider - specifically the way you've shaped your additional masses, you're doing a much better job there of thinking about how to design their silhouettes, where to place your inward curves, and so on.

I have just a couple things to call out:

  • I only really saw this on the first page, but be weary of overusing contour lines. Generally speaking, for additional masses there's not a lot for these kinds of contour lines, the ones that sit on the surface of a single form, to do, and worse it can encourage us to feel that if we get the shape wrong, that we can still somehow "fix" it after the fact. This in turn can shift our focus from thinking about how to design that shape, to just trying to fix it afterwards. Unfortunately those contour lines don't actually address the problem. Of course, contour lines that define the intersection between different forms (like what we use in the sausage method) are totally different - though they're suitable for instances where the forms interpenetrate, rather than where one form wraps around the other.

  • In situations like your spider's abdomen, where you did end up cutting back across the initial ellipse you'd laid down, leaving part of out outside of the resulting form, I expect this may have been the result of simply having a looser ellipse to start. If that happens, be sure to treat the outermost perimeter of that ellipse as being the edge of the form you're drawing. Alternatively you may feel that it doesn't match your reference closely enough - that's not a problem. It's better to stick with the form as you've drawn it and continue building upon it, rather than to try and contradict or alter it afterwards. Remember that the reference is merely a source of information. It defines the direction in which we take our constructions, but there will be deviations from it as we make little unintentional mistakes. Do not risk the solidity of your structure to correct such issues.

Anyway, I'll go ahead and mark this lesson as complete. You're headed in the right direction, and are making good progress. You'll also be able to continue developing your approach/understanding as you apply the same principles in the next lesson.

Next Steps:

Move onto lesson 5.

This critique marks this lesson as complete.
2:23 AM, Tuesday April 26th 2022

Great, thank you for the critique. And yes, regarding the spider's abdomen, I cut back into it because my ellipse was not tight. I'll remember to prioritize form solidity over proportions, matching the reference, etc.

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