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10:06 PM, Monday December 19th 2022

I'll be the TA handling your Lesson 2 critique.

You're making progress towards understanding the concepts introduced in this lesson and hopefully this critique will help you in your future attempts.

  • Starting off in the arrows section your lines are looking smoothly and confidently drawn. You're doing a good job maintaining a consistent width as your arrows widen while moving closer to the viewer and with more mileage you'll become more consistent. This is a good exercise to experiment with line weight but when applying it we want to make sure we do subtly to key areas like overlaps to give clarity to our forms. Here are some things to look out for when applying line weight, and here are some reminders on how to apply it subtly. At times you don't overlap your edges when you should, this results in your arrows flattening out as you can see here. I'd like you to experiment more with foreshortening in your future attempts, by utilizing it in both the arrows themselves as well as the negative space between their curves we can create a stronger illusion of an object moving through 3D space as demonstrated here.

  • Moving into the organic forms with contours exercise your forms are getting a bit too complex. We want to create our forms with both ends being the same size and to avoid any pinching, bloating, or stretching along the form's length as discussed here. You're keeping your line work confident here which is great, though your lines do break up at times which shows you may be tackling things a bit too quickly and not giving yourself to implement the ghosting technique properly. Speaking of contours I'd like you to try and shift the degree of your contours more. The degree of a contour line basically represents the orientation of that cross-section in space, relative to the viewer, and as we slide along the sausage form, the cross section is either going to open up (allowing us to see more of it) or turn away from the viewer (allowing us to see less), as shown here.

  • In the texture exercises you're focusing largely on outlines and negative space rather than cast shadows created by forms along the texture itself. This makes it difficult to create gradients with implied information which we could then use to create focal points in more complex pieces, by doing so we can prevent our viewers from being visually overwhelmed with too much detail. You also show that you're drawing from memory rather than giving yourself enough time to focus on your reference. Most of our time when doing exercises like this will be spent observing our reference and looking away for a quick second to add something to our page. For more on the importance of focusing on cast shadows read here. I'd also like to quickly direct you to this image which shows that when we're working with thin line like textures if we outline and fill the shadow we will create a much more dynamic texture than simply drawing lines.

  • In the form intersections section you don't actually attempt to draw the intersections which you were instructed to do.Your forms here appear a bit hastily done, it looks like you needed more time planning them before drawing them. Remember that whether our goal is to draw 1 form or 100, we want to be giving each line the same amount of time planning/ghosting before drawing it. You're also not making one large group of forms as intructed and instead have multiple groups of forms as discussed here.

  • While wrapping up your submission with the organic intersections exercise you show that you need a bit more time becoming comfortable with thinking of how these forms interact in 3D space and how they'd wrap around one another. I recommend trying to stack your forms perpendicularly rather than trying to keep them headed in the same direction to help make wrapping them around one another a smoother task. Addressing the issues brought up in the previous organic form section will help here as well. Your shadows are hugging the form creating them rather than being cast on to another surface believably. It appears like your shadows aren't following a consistent light source, I recommend pushing your light source to the top left or right corner of the page to start with, it's easier than working with a light directly above your form pile.

I won't be moving you on to the next lesson just yet, each lesson builds upon each other and I'd like to make sure you understand a few of these concepts a bit more before potentially creating more problems down the road.

With that being said I'd like you to please re-read and complete:

  • 1 page of the organic forms with contours exercise (half with contour ellipses, the other half with contour curves)

  • 1 page of the organic intersections exercise

  • 2 pages of the form intersections exercise

Once you've completed the pages mentioned above reply to this critique with a link to them, I'll go over them and address anything that needs to be worked on and once you've shown you're ready for the next lesson I'll move you on.

I look forward to seeing your work.

Next Steps:

  • 1 page of the organic forms with contours exercise (half with contour ellipses, the other half with contour curves)

  • 1 page of the organic intersections exercise

  • 2 pages of the form intersections exercise

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
4:44 PM, Thursday January 12th 2023

Hi,

Took sometime but I ded the revisions.

https://imgur.com/a/thsZFKQ

8:52 PM, Friday January 13th 2023

Your organic forms and organic intersections are looking better but you're still not drawing your intersections in the form intersections exercise.

Read over the form intersections exercise again and take a look at this diagram which may help make the task a bit clearer.

I'll be asking you to complete one more page of the form intersections exercise please. Remember to take your time, utilize the ghosting method and draw confidently as well, some of your forms got a bit wobbly here.

Next Steps:

1 more page of form intersections.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
4:31 PM, Saturday January 21st 2023

Hi, I completed the page:

https://imgur.com/a/9X5qNtz

Thank you for the diagram. It helped to clear things up a bit. Although I am still not super confident with intersections.

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