View Full Submission View Parent Comment
2 users agree
10:50 AM, Monday November 2nd 2020
edited at 10:54 AM, Nov 2nd 2020

Hi Yojoki!

You took the first big step finishing Lesson 1. Now let's review your work step by step.

Superimposed Lines are very good. In a few instances there is fraying on both ends of your curved lines (which admittedly are way more difficult). Keep an eye on that, the pen must be placed carefully on the starting point every time you commit to a line.

Ghosted Lines look great. Most of them are confident and smooth, which is the priority.

Ghosted Planes: one page is missing. Lesson 1 asks for two pages of Ghosted Planes (and so of Ellipses in Planes). Hence I'd like to see one more page. Remember to plot your midsection lines with dots, because that is an essential step to help you ghosting lines properly.

Tables of Ellipses show a good progression toward smoother and confident lines, but there's one mistake worth mentioning: one shouldn't draw through the ellipses more than three times. The rule is no less than two and no more than three times, or the lines will be too messy to be useful.

Starting from the Funnels I notice a progressively less mindful approach to the work in general. Ellipses here are less clear compared to the ones in the Tables and more wobbly than confident. This results in the minor axis not cutting through the ellipses in two symmetrical halves. Also don't forget to draw the minor axis or you won't have a concrete goal to aim for.

Plotted Perspective is good enough. However you forgot to draw the vertical line in the back corner of your boxes. In the last frame of the second page it also looks like you didn't use a ruler to extend your lines. A piece of paper would do but be sure that is stable enough to let you draw a straight line.

Rough Perspective is okay. As I already mentioned, it looks like after a certain point you rushed things a little bit. In the first frame you didn't check the convergences, which is a crucial step. You also hatched only some of your boxes; this isn't a mistake in itself but it makes the work look sloppier and should be avoided.

The Rotated Boxes page shows some boxes that rotate effectively and a general good attempt at it. However some boxes are missing and few of them are not complete (you should draw through each one of them, regardless of how good or bad the end result may be). Lineweight should be added with confident ghosted lines, and solely to the part of lines to overlap. Don't apply it more than one time for each line or you'll create those focal points that should be avoided.

On the Organic Perspective try to keep further boxes smaller to give the viewer a better sense of depth. I'd like to point out though that you didn't take the time to draw the frames inside the pages. These frames are important to start thinking about the page as a window on a 3D space.

One last note: the spiral binding of your sketchbook won't help you rotate the paper comfortably during the planning phase of the ghosting method. It's better to detach each paper before you attempt your homework.

Now I would like you to do an extra mile and redo some of your homework:

1 page of Funnels: focus on the orientation of the ellipses and the number of times you draw through each one of them. Also focus on confidence before accuracy.

1 quadrant of Rotated Boxes: choose one quadrant and draw all the boxes required and don't forget to draw through each one of them. Simply complete the assignment at your current best ability.

Choose: 1 frame of Rough Perspective or 1 frame of Organic Perspective. I'd like to see a frame drawn properly with a ruler and an attempt to follow all the instructions of the relative lesson.

1 page of Ellipses in Planes, which was missing.

I hope you don't feel discouraged. You are on the right track.

Good Luck!

Next Steps:

1 page of Funnels: focus on the orientation of the ellipses and the number of times you draw through each one of them. Also focus on confidence before accuracy.

1 quadrant of Rotated Boxes: choose one quadrant and draw all the boxes required and don't forget to draw through each one of them. Simply complete the assignment at your current best ability.

Choose: 1 frame of Rough Perspective or 1 frame of Organic Perspective. I'd like to see a frame drawn properly with a ruler and an attempt to follow all the instructions of the relative lesson.

1 page of Ellipses in Planes, which was missing.

Good Luck!

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 10:54 AM, Nov 2nd 2020
9:14 PM, Sunday November 8th 2020

Hey thanks again for the critique! Here are my revisions. Though note that the page of ellipses in planes is from when I first did the program as I accidentally missed this page.

https://imgur.com/a/JApIMVe

7:07 AM, Tuesday November 10th 2020

Hey, just in case you don't log back with the other account, I write here so you know you can read the revision down below.

The recommendation below is an advertisement. Most of the links here are part of Amazon's affiliate program (unless otherwise stated), which helps support this website. It's also more than that - it's a hand-picked recommendation of something I've used myself. If you're interested, here is a full list.
Faber Castell PITT Artist Pens

Faber Castell PITT Artist Pens

Like the Staedtlers, these also come in a set of multiple weights - the ones we use are F. One useful thing in these sets however (if you can't find the pens individually) is that some of the sets come with a brush pen (the B size). These can be helpful in filling out big black areas.

Still, I'd recommend buying these in person if you can, at a proper art supply store. They'll generally let you buy them individually, and also test them out beforehand to weed out any duds.

This website uses cookies. You can read more about what we do with them, read our privacy policy.