View Full Submission View Parent Comment
2 users agree
2:00 AM, Tuesday February 2nd 2021
edited at 6:54 PM, Feb 2nd 2021

Before I actually critique you submission, the post seems to be missing a second page of the Organic Arrows exercise. I marked your post as needing revisions for this reason.

I'm working through Lesson 2 corrections myself, so I'll keep the critique focused on the basic concepts I've been working to understand more closely. I want to focus on your organic forms. You've actually submitted two more pages than necessary for this particular assignment, not that that's a bad thing. You only need one page of organic contour ellipses and one page of organic contour curves. The additional pages have helped me see more of your work and get a better idea of how you could improve. Here are some points worth considering:

1. Overshoot the contour curves so they hook around the edges of the organic forms you've drawn. Consider this portion of the assignment page. Some of your contours were hooked but the majority weren't. When you hook the contour line, it brings out the shape of the form more. The lack of curving edges on your contour lines has also caused the degrees of you contour lines to become too flat and similar. Some of them are uniform to the point of looking like a pattern. Remember that the ellipses and contour curves are there to represent the shape of the form and how it exists in space. They help tell us more about the object you've created, and working on this more will help you visualize objects in 3-D space.

2. Simplify your forms. This is the basic principal for how the organic forms should be shaped. You bent and stretched a lot of your organic forms, making them more complicated. Simpler forms will make the exercise easier to perform and learn from. If you follow the link in the beginning of this paragraph, you will have an image and a checklist of things to avoid.

3. Vary the degrees of your ellipses. I mentioned uniformity in part 1 of my critique, and the same principal applies here. Here's the link to the relevant part of the lesson page. Change the degrees of your ellipses as you move through the forms you've drawn, and make sure you're drawing through each of the ellipses like we learned here in lesson 1. One of your pages submitted had drawn through ellipses, while the other page had ellipses that were only circled once.

4. Organic Intersections. The shapes you've drawn look good here, but they're also difficult to make out due to the amount of contour lines you've drawn on each shape. Limiting the amount of visual noise in your drawings will make the image easier to digest, which helps you learn and it helps people critique and analyze what you've drawn. Also, try working with fewer forms and have them be larger and simple to reduce the visual noise further.

Other than the four main points mentioned above, make sure you refer back to fundamentals like mark making and basic shape construction. I can see that you're putting a lot of work into rendering your drawings with lines and other information, so taking a step back and putting extra thought into those details will elevate your work. You're already putting in a good effort, so take some time every once in a while to further understand the intention behind the next line you plan on making.

Before you progress, make sure you post another page of the Organic Arrows exercise since that is the only requirement missing. If you're open to working on revisions, consider attempting another page of organic contour ellipses and another page of organic contour curves and try applying some of what I've highlighted into your attempts. I don't have any authority to make you do that, and it's worth pointing out that I'm still working on being approved to start Lesson 3.

Anyways, thanks for reading, and good luck.

Next Steps:

1 page of the Organic Arrows exercise.

(Optional) Try another page of organic ellipses and another page of organic contours.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 6:54 PM, Feb 2nd 2021
8:34 PM, Thursday February 25th 2021

Thank you for the critique. I added another page of the arrow excercise, organic ellipses, and organic contours.

Here's the link: https://imgur.com/gallery/X6LD5qH

2:31 AM, Friday February 26th 2021

Great, I marked your lesson 2 submission as complete. Move on to Lesson 3 when you're ready. Good luck!

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
The recommendation below is an advertisement. Most of the links here are part of Amazon's affiliate program (unless otherwise stated), which helps support this website. It's also more than that - it's a hand-picked recommendation of something I've used myself. If you're interested, here is a full list.
Sakura Pigma Microns

Sakura Pigma Microns

A lot of my students use these. The last time I used them was when I was in high school, and at the time I felt that they dried out pretty quickly, though I may have simply been mishandling them. As with all pens, make sure you're capping them when they're not in use, and try not to apply too much pressure. You really only need to be touching the page, not mashing your pen into it.

In terms of line weight, the sizes are pretty weird. 08 corresponds to 0.5mm, which is what I recommend for the drawabox lessons, whereas 05 corresponds to 0.45mm, which is pretty close and can also be used.

This website uses cookies. You can read more about what we do with them, read our privacy policy.