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10:25 PM, Sunday March 3rd 2024

I'll be the TA handling your Lesson 2 critique.

You're making progress towards understanding the concepts introduced in this lesson and hopefully this critique will help you in your future attempts.

  • Starting off in the arrows section your lines are looking smoothly and confidently drawn. There are spots where your arrows bulge/narrow suddenly, this is an issue because it gives the impression that your arrows are stretching which hurts their solidity. Remember that as our arrows move closer to the viewer we want them to widen consistently. This is a good exercise to experiment with line weight but when applying it we want to make sure we do subtly to key areas like overlaps to give clarity to our forms. Here are some things to look out for when applying line weight, and here are some reminders on how to apply it subtly. At times you don't overlap your edges when you should, this results in your arrows flattening out as you can see here. I'd like you to experiment more with foreshortening in your future attempts, by utilizing it in both the arrows themselves as well as the negative space between their curves we can create a stronger illusion of an object moving through 3D space as demonstrated here.

  • Moving into the organic forms with contours exercise some of your forms are getting a bit too complex. We want to create our forms with both ends being the same size and to avoid any pinching, bloating, or stretching along the form's length as discussed here. Some of your line work here shows a lack of confidence, remember that our first priority is that we want all of our linework/ellipses/contours to be drawn confidently and mileage will improve our accuracy. Speaking of contours, on your forms with contour curves you're placing your ending ellipses on the wrong end. It should be on the end facing the viewer which would be on the end where the curves open rather than close (if you imagine this C as your curve and this O as your ellipse, you want the ellipse to be inside the curve like C O, rather than O C like it is currently). I'd also like you to try and shift the degree of your contours more. The degree of a contour line basically represents the orientation of that cross-section in space, relative to the viewer, and as we slide along the sausage form, the cross section is either going to open up (allowing us to see more of it) or turn away from the viewer (allowing us to see less), as shown here.

  • In the texture exercises you're focusing largely on outlines and negative space rather than cast shadows created by forms along the texture itself. This makes it difficult to create gradients with implied information which we could then use to create focal points in more complex pieces, by doing so we can prevent our viewers from being visually overwhelmed with too much detail. You also show that you're drawing from memory at times rather than giving yourself enough time to focus on your reference. Most of our time when doing exercises like this will be spent observing our reference and looking away for a quick second to add something to our page. For more on the importance of focusing on cast shadows read here. I'd also like to quickly direct you to this image which shows that when we're working with thin line like textures if we outline and fill the shadow we will create a much more dynamic texture than simply drawing lines.

  • It's quite common for people to feel like they don't fully grasp the form intersections exercise, if you feel like you may fall into this category try not to stress too much. This exercise is just meant to get students to start thinking about how their forms relate to one another in 3D space, and how to define those relationships on the page. We'll be going over them more in the upcoming lessons. Your forms here appear a bit hastily done, it looks like you needed more time planning them before drawing them. You're also skipping steps like drawing through all of your ellipses and drawing the minor axis in your ellipse based forms (cylinders/cones). Remember that whether our goal is to draw 1 form or 100, we want to be giving each line the same amount of time planning/ghosting before drawing it.

  • While wrapping up your submission with the organic intersections exercise you show that you need a bit more time becoming comfortable with thinking of how these forms interact in 3D space and how they'd wrap around one another. I recommend trying to stack your forms perpendicularly rather than trying to keep them headed in the same direction to help make wrapping them around one another a smoother task. You're keeping your forms relatively simple here which is good, but addressing the issues mentioned in the previous organic forms section will help you here as well. Your work again appears a bit hasty here, you're not drawing through all of your ellipses. Your shadows are hugging the form creating them rather than being cast on to another surface believably. Your shadows appear to be following a consistent light source, be sure to experiment with different angles and intensities when trying this exercise again in the future. I recommend pushing your light source to the top left or right corner of the page to start with, it's easier than working with a light directly above your form pile.

I won't be moving you on to the next lesson just yet, each lesson builds upon each other and I'd like to make sure you understand a few of these concepts a bit more before potentially creating more problems down the road.

It feels like you may be working a bit too hastily, looking back on your box challenge it seems like this was something I had addressed then as well.

With that being said I'd like you to please re-read and complete:

  • 1 page of the organic forms with contours exercise (half with curves, half with ellipses)

  • 2 pages of the form intersections exercise

Once you've completed the pages mentioned above reply to this critique with a link to them, I'll go over them and address anything that needs to be worked on and once you've shown you're ready for the next lesson I'll move you on.

I look forward to seeing your work.

Next Steps:

  • 1 page of the organic forms with contours exercise (half with curves, half with ellipses)

  • 2 pages of the form intersections exercise

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
2:09 PM, Wednesday March 13th 2024

Here's the revisions as requested.

https://imgur.com/a/tBQzjCU

As for the critique I took it to heart and I do see I tend to be a little hasty about my drawing instead of slowing down and knowing where I want to put it. I'm making an effort to pace myself better and plan the practice a little better.

Also, yeah I somehow reversed the organic form intersection and drew the front as the back. My mistake.

11:40 PM, Wednesday March 13th 2024

Unfortunately you appear to be working too quickly still.

It seems you may not be giving yourself enough time to plan using the ghosting method as your lines aren't always consistent or as thought out as they could be. You're also not drawing through your ellipses which you should be doing for every attempt.

While I understand that you're attempting to do better and address the issues I called out, you are skipping these critical steps that are inherently more time consuming. If you don't remember these processes clearly, you may want to review the material from Lesson 1 to refresh your memory.

I'll be asking you to recomplete these pages.

Next Steps:

  • 1 page of the organic forms with contours exercise (half with curves, half with ellipses)

  • 2 pages of the form intersections exercise

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
3:28 PM, Friday March 22nd 2024
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