1:35 AM, Sunday July 31st 2022
Hi! So, starting with the organic intersections, here's a demo on your first page, the corrections there apply to the second page as well.
As for the animal drawings, the following corrections apply to all of them:
- Camel: Demo Here, the main issues I see are two.
1: your line is way too wobbly and insecure. You have to make those lines flow, from your shoulder, ghosting them and executing the line with confidence.
2: Your curves on the legs are arbitrary, they don't follow the contour of the sausage they're being drawn on, and the feet have no dimension to them at all. For the feet, start with simple forms, then add masses to them and break them apart as is needed. You can look at the donkey demo for a better reference.
On my demo, when I added curves without adding masses, I could've done that cutting into the box itself too. If you look at the demos, sometimes we cut into the forms, other times we add the curves outside, like I did here, the important thing is that we keep in mind how the lines we're adding relate to the main construction and the forms they're being drawn too. In the end, I'm not just adding a curve to make the feet rounder: I'm implying a mass there, but it's one that's so small that just implying it in that way, works good enough.
As for the legs, it's better that you use the contour curves on the basic construction and on some places where it could be needed afterwards (like horns or things like that), but the legs work better with just the intersections drawn on them. That being said, those intersections have to be drawn with care, following the contour of the forms they're being draw upon.
Rhyno: Demo
The ears can be treated as a thick petal, as they flow in a similar way in 3D space. As you drew them here, they look stiff and without any dimension.
The spheres are way too overdrawn. We're overdrawing ellipses (and masses by extension) two to three times. The excessive lineweight on the initial construction undermines the rest of it, and prioritizes thing in the wrong order, visually.
The legs and feet have the same problem as the camel, and you also hatched the backlegs. Don't: that comes from older demos. Draw through your forms every time.
The boxy mass you added on the head, while I totally get your way of thinking there, could've been improved working with a smaller cranium to start, and wrapping the form better around the sausages; you'll notice that you ended up with some innecesary corners. When the boxy form reaches the hump, it creates a little corner: that's totally fine because you're interacting with another form. However, the way the boxy form wraps around the hump should be softer, as that form is rounder.
The eyes are not spherical when they should be, and so, the eyelids don't wrap around them as they should.
The horn reads fine, but if you want to be more accurate to the reference, you could add a contour curve that describes the planes on the horn, as it is not totally rounded.
Bird: The bird looks good enough; the intersections on the legs are missing, but all other mistakes here have already been adressed.
Frog: Same issues: line too wobbly, basic construction spheres too overdrawn, intersections missing and/or inaccurate. Watch out for the sausages, those are made on a single stroke, we don't build them like we do with the branches.
Hybrid: Looks better as well, while having a lot of the same issues mentioned before. I really like the boxy head and the planes of the horn being suggested without using contour curves, which is great too. Would've liked to see you break apart the head a little more and add some additional masses to make it closer to a rhyno's head.
So, there's that. Trying to condese it, here are the main points:
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Wobbly line; intersection curves don't follow the contour of the forms, some sausages are not being drawn in one stroke.
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Basic ellipses/spheres are being overdrawn.
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Additional forms could be wrapped better around the basic construction, on occasion the feet are not broken down into planes, the ears tend to be stiff instead of flowing through space.
And a final one:
- No lineweight being added to prioritize elements when lines intersect (be subtle about it when adding it)
There's a lot of progress, but you still have some things to improve. So, taking in mind all previous corrections, I'll ask for 3 more drawings:
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One hooved quadruped
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Two non hooved quadrupeds
And a final page of Organic Intersections. Here, remember that your sausages are resting, not floating or in the process of falling. Be careful with your cast shadows, think of how those are actually being cast and why.
Again, work big, 1 drawing per page, take your time, and think about how every line you're making relates to the forms they're being drawn upon.
Don't forget to warm up before drawing. If you have any questions, I'll be around to answer them. Good luck!
Next Steps:
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One page of Organic Intersections
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Three more animal drawings:
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Two non-hooved quadrupeds
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One hooved quadruped