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9:21 AM, Monday June 13th 2022

Hello Nuwu. Congrats on finishing lesson 2! I'm Strauss and would be pleased to critique your work, I hope that they can help you one way or another on your artistic journey. I’ll divided this into 5 major sections, now let’s dive into it:

Organic Arrows

  • First, with arrows section, your lines are being executed smoothly and confidently. You also made some great attempt at drawing the arrows bigger/smaller towards/away from the viewer (this is very important since we want to convey perspective), plus, the subtle adding of line weight in overlapping areas also help strengthen the illusion of 3D space we’re trying to make.

  • But take a look at this image (https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/011d064f.jpg) remember that not only did the size of the arrows have to change, but the negative space between each fold has to also change adhere to it, too. I can see you actually apply this in some of your arrows, I just want to remind you, since this is an element that people tends to overlook.

  • Also try your best to keep your arrows “consistent” even if in perspective. Like this one for example: https://imgur.com/a/SOl1lGP

Organic Forms with Contours

  • Now moving into the organic forms with contours ellipses exercise, you’re doing great. Confident lines. You’re also sticking to simple sausage forms which is nice, since we don’t want to end up with forms that are too complex, as being said in the official instruction material. For contour ellipses, I can see that you're intentionally shifting the degree of your ellipses with an awareness as to how they rotate and moving through space, the ellipses are also fit in snugly/tightly within the sausage. Good job.

  • The contour curves are also beginning to wrap around believably on the surface of the forms, but they barely changing degrees, keep in mind when you decided to use this exercise for future warm-ups. One way to help with this is to try using the ghosting method with more consideration and calculation beforehand.

  • I also want to note that contour curves is a double-edged sword. Granted, it’s a very useful tool to describe how a form sits in 3D space, but it can easily work against us by flattening our drawing and makes it hard to read, so use them wisely and sparingly, and make sure to keep experimenting later on.

Textures

  • Textures Analysis: Good job for the Paper and Rock texture, I can see a smooth and seamless transition of dense/sparse in your work. For the Tires, you're now focusing largely on outlines, explicit mark-making and negative space rather than cast shadows created by forms along the texture itself. Tires itself is a very hard texture to do, so great job nonetheless.

  • Dissections: Solid attempt at minding, respect the curvature of the sausage forms, and wrapping the textures around them logically. You also take every chances you got to break the silhouette of the forms, makes them easier to read. Silhouette-breaking is a super useful tool to help convey the texture better and makes it look more believable/realistic.

  • But, like I said above, you're focusing largely on outlines, explicit mark-making (instead of implicit mark-making) and negative space rather than the cast shadow. Here’s a tip for you to draw texture (at least that’s how I did it several months ago, take this with a grain of salt):

1) Decide the texture you want to draw.

2) Use any search engine to find multiples references with high solution, around 2-5 is preferable.

3) Now, stare at them, closely and carefully. This step is the most important because you have to identify the cast shadow, and always ask yourself “should I use this part, or this part to apply them in my sausages scaffolding, and how should I apply it, using what kind of mark-making…” (you can go on and on with this one honestly). Using a scrap paper to note things out is really recommend, too (remember the 2nd row of your Texture Analysis assignment? Like that)

4) Now, make some mark on your page, then go back and forth between step 3rd and 4th until you are satisfy with it.

These steps will not make your drawings look “prettier” (so don’t expect that), but they will help you understand these textures a little bit better.

Form Intersections

  • Now moving on to the form intersections, you have drawn your forms in a way that they seem to be sharing the same cohesive, believably 3D space. Good job. It’s very normal to feel like you’re not really comprehend this at its core, since this exercise is only meant to introduce to you about forms and how they can interact and intersect with each other, like puzzle pieces. We will have a lot of opportunities to tackle this again in later lessons so no worries. You also use hatching lines to emphasize the planes that are facing the viewer, which made it easier to visualize.

Organic Intersections

  • And for the last one, organic intersections, , I want to point out a few things, take a look again at the official website as how it should look like: https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/9/example , https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/9/complicated and https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/9/shadows. Please also check out this link: https://imgur.com/a/ENtvDWv

  • One common mistake people usually made for this particular assignment is not drawing through forms. You should always draw through forms, just like the form intersections exercise. This isn’t mentioned in the instruction, so it’s reasonable that you do not acknowledge and choose not to apply this technique in your assignment, but you have to know that some of these material written on this website is a bit…old, and is in progress of reconstruction. Next time, try to draw through forms when you’re using this as your warm-up exercise.

Overall, you did great! Though, I’ll ask for a redo of Organic Intersections exercise. Please keep in mind everything that I’ve discussed above.

Next Steps:

1 page of Organic Intersection.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
1:18 AM, Friday June 17th 2022

Hello there! First of all, I want to thank you with all my soul for taking some of your precious time and critique this homework, I know critiquing can be a long process and I deeply appreciate you taking a look at everything! Everything you've mentioned I'll be taking into consideration and have it in the back of my mind, as all of it has been extremely helpful and made it easier to reflect on what I did wrong and what I can do better to improve overall.

As for the Organic Intersections, I re-did a page and I think I got the hang of it, the fact that the sausages have weight and taking gravity into account is a bit hard to wrap your head around, but I'm not sure if I did better or worse this time. Also, I've noticed that I'm doing all my sausages in one stroke, I'm not sure if that's a mistake or not but it seems very limiting and I think I took the Lesson 1 Note "don't chicken scratch'' too seriously. Let me know what you think and whether or not I should do another page of Organic Intersections!

Here's the link: https://imgur.com/a/uhK6dQO

10:04 PM, Sunday June 19th 2022

Heya! Sorry for the late reply hope you don't mind (life issues and all that)! (And no problemo helping ppl makes me happy)

I did take a look at your redo exercise and yeah don't worry these definitely look much better, i can see that you've also taken my critique into account too, which is great! For your linework trouble hmmm actually there's no "hard rule" that requires you "to achieve a solid, 3d sausage form you have to putting in X number of lines" etc...

Indeed, 1 stroke is advisable, but IF that one stroke makes your line looks wobbly/inconfident eventhough you're already ghost your line beforehand, maybe 2 would be better. You can first try to do a sausage that has 2 strokes/lines total, control your pen pressure to blend the lines in seamlessly (to your best of your current ability ofc!), then when you feel comfy enough, change the pace and do the whole thing in 1 stroke.

So yeah! maybe you can try to do that for your future warms-up (since you'll use Organic

Perspective A LOT for future lessons, best to keep it sharpen up overtime ). I'll mark your Lesson 2 as completed since you've done a great job.

Good luck for L3 and onwards Nuwu!

Next Steps:

Lesson 3.

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
12:19 AM, Monday June 20th 2022

No worries in terms of the late reply! After all, your personal life should always come in first place, and everything else goes after.

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