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1:18 AM, Monday June 28th 2021

I'll be the TA handling your Lesson 2 critique.

You're making progress towards understanding the concepts introduced in this lesson and hopefully this critique will help you in your future attempts.

  • Starting off with the arrows section you want to be making sure you're drawing confidently to keep your arrows as smooth as possible, accuracy will come with mileage. This applies to your hatching as well, when including it do your best to plan each line using the ghosting technique and draw each line confidently, currently it's quite messy and detracts from your attempts. There are spots where your arrows bulge/narrow suddenly, this is an issue because it gives the impression that your arrows are stretching which hurts their solidity. Remember that as our arrows move closer to the viewer we want them to widen consistently. This is a good exercise to experiment with line weight but when applying it we want to make sure we do subtly to key areas like overlaps to give clarity to our forms. Here are some things to look out for when applying line weight, and here are some reminders on how to apply it subtly. I'd like you to experiment more with foreshortening in your future attempts, by utilizing it in both the arrows themselves as well as the negative space between their curves we can create a stronger illusion of an object moving through 3D space as demonstrated here.

  • Moving into the organic forms with contours exercise your some forms are getting a bit too complex or at times a bit too simple and becoming too close to an oval. We want to create our forms with both ends being the same size and to avoid any pinching, bloating, or stretching along the form's length as discussed here. You're keeping your line work mostly confident here which is great, if you feel uncomfortable working with contours still don't stress with more mileage it'll become more natural. When drawing contour curves make sure you hook both ends back into the form as seen here, and try not to redraw your lines if you make a mistake.Speaking of contours I'd like you to try and shift the degree of your contours more. The degree of a contour line basically represents the orientation of that cross-section in space, relative to the viewer, and as we slide along the sausage form, the cross section is either going to open up (allowing us to see more of it) or turn away from the viewer (allowing us to see less), as shown here.

  • In the texture exercises you're focusing largely on outlines and negative space rather than cast shadows created by forms along the texture itself. This makes it difficult to create gradients with implied information which we could then use to create focal points in more complex pieces, by doing so we can prevent our viewers from being visually overwhelmed with too much detail. You also show that you're drawing from memory at times rather than giving yourself enough time to focus on your reference. Most of our time when doing exercises like this will be spent observing our reference and looking away for a quick second to add something to our page. For more on the importance of focusing on cast shadows read here. I'd also like to quickly direct you to this image which shows that when we're working with thin line like textures if we outline and fill the shadow we will create a much more dynamic texture than simply drawing lines.

  • It's quite common for people to feel like they don't fully grasp the form intersections exercise, if you feel like you may fall into this category try not to stress too much. This exercise is just meant to get students to start thinking about how their forms relate to one another in 3D space, and how to define those relationships on the page. We'll be going over them more in the upcoming lessons. That being said, your line confidence could use some work here as well, you have some noticeable wobbling occurring and overall your lines are very sketchy and messy. Your forms here appear a bit hastily done, it looks like you needed more time planning them before drawing them. Remember that whether our goal is to draw 1 form or 100, we want to be giving each line the same amount of time planning/ghosting before drawing it.

  • While wrapping up your submission with the organic intersections exercise you do a great job demonstrating that your sense of 3D space is developing as your forms begin to wrap around each other believably. You're keeping your forms simple and easy to work with which is a good strategy to help produce good results. When it comes to your shadows you're pushing them enough so that they cast rather than just hugging the form that creates them which is a great start. Your shadows appear to be following a consistent light source, be sure to experiment with different angles and intensities when trying this exercise again in the future. I recommend pushing your light source to the top left or right corner of the page to start with, it's easier than working with a light directly above your form pile.

I won't be moving you on to the next lesson just yet, each lesson builds upon each other and I'd like to make sure you understand a few of these concepts a bit more before potentially creating more problems down the road. The biggest thing you need to work on is your patience as it appears like quite a bit of your work is done hastily to get to the next step, this results in your work growing increasingly messy as you move through the lesson.

With that being said I'd like you to please re-read and complete:

  • 2 pages of the form intersections exercise

Once you've completed the pages mentioned above reply to this critique with a link to them, I'll go over them and address anything that needs to be worked on and once you've shown you're ready for the next lesson I'll move you on.

I look forward to seeing your work.

Next Steps:

2 page of the form intersections exercise

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
9:27 AM, Tuesday July 20th 2021
edited at 9:28 AM, Jul 20th 2021

My 2 pages of revisions are finished. Sorry about the delay

https://imgur.com/a/GPgTHle

edited at 9:28 AM, Jul 20th 2021
6:43 PM, Tuesday July 20th 2021

No worries, good work these are an improvement but still a bit messy at times. You're also redrawing lines at times which you shouldn't be doing.

Continue working on previous exercises as warm ups and to build up mileage/tidy up your work and good luck in lesson 3.

Next Steps:

Move on to lesson 3.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
2:49 PM, Tuesday September 7th 2021

Sorry, you didn't mark my lesson 2 as complete, unless I have to submit more lesson 2 revisions? Your post and the next steps recommendations seem to contradict each other

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4:10 PM, Tuesday September 7th 2021

Uncomfy here, hijacking Tofu's account to mark yours as complete. Should be backdated to when you submitted these revisions, so you should be good to submit your Lesson 3 work.

This critique marks this lesson as complete.
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