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anthemlog in the post "Who Are You? Introduce Yourselves!"

2015-02-01 10:29

Here I am now, hoping to learn to really draw. And here is a lot of words;

I am 25. I first wanted to learn to draw about 4 years ago. I was interested in Adventure Time. A comic called Black Adventures is what really got me interested in drawing. I learned about tumblr and say that there were a lot of artists that drew cartoons as well. So I got my first sketchbook and thus the pain began.

I thought it would be easy to get into drawing. I knew what I wanted to draw. I could see it in my mind. But it wouldn't come out of my pencil. I found that every time I tried to envision what I wanted to draw it seemed like it was moving too fast to see. Every time I tried to picture it I found that I knew less and less of how it looked. Even if I had seen the subject many times, over years.

As the years went by it got worse and worse. I would hit peaks of inspiration or motivation and then I would get shot down by my own inability.

I talked to a lot of people online about drawing. A LOT. As far as I can say, I mostly got helpful information. But the more I asked around the more the information conflicted. Most people say to use reference. Some say they never used reference. Many went to art school or took art classes and spoke of how much they improved from them, while at the same time defended that classes weren't necessary at all in order to improve.

Some people couldn't comprehend that I could be of this age and be incapable of drawing, so I was called a troll by many. Many seemed to believe that drawing was an inherent ability on some level and refused to believe that I was unable. Again, I was called a troll. There was even that one person that refused to offer me any advice. She believed that the path to becoming skilled at drawing was meant to believe a long, hard, and painful one. To better develop my own personal style, she said. I have also been told to give up on many occasions.

I've come across different definitions of "art". I liked the one that told me that everything, including the shit in my toilet (They actually said this) was art. That made me chuckle.

All along the way, a wall seemed to develop. Picking up a pencil was like being tied to a chair. I felt paralyzed when I looked at a sheet of blank paper with the desire to draw. I seemed to develop a perfectionist view, before I had even gotten anywhere. I understood(and still understand) that no one starts off as a master, but I couldn't bring myself to draw poorly on purpose.

I've been told that I must first get all the mistakes and useless garbage out of the way. But drawing mistakes and useless garbage isn't fun. I was told to enjoy it, to enjoy drawing regardless of the outcome. But after a while it only got more difficult. How could I pick up a pencil and draw when I understood that the very thing I was drawing would turn out to look terrible? Before I even start a drawing, I knew it was going to turn out bad because I just wasn't very skilled. It's like that with any skill. When you first start out you suck. I was told not to think like that but no matter how much I tried to put my mind away from that the fact remains that if you are unskilled in something you are going to outright suck at it. There is no avoiding it.

I have read many books. Gone to comic-con a few times to talk with the comic book artists. You'd be surprised at how many professionals don't know how to answer the question, "How do I learn to draw if I have never drawn before?" You'd be surprised at how many ask to see my "work" right after I had told them I had never drawn anything before in my entire life. It's not their fault. They've been drawing their entire life. They don't remember beginning.

And I discovered that in a way the artists that have been drawing their entire lives haven't had to work very hard for it at all. Don't get me wrong, time and hard work got them to where they are. But they started as children. They didn't understand how bad they were at drawing. But they kept drawing and by the time they were able to judge themselves they were already quit skilled and had a lot to show for their work. But when you begin when you are older and find out that you have about 10 years to go until you get to where you want to be, it get's hard and discouraging.

That's all that, I supposed.

I have never taken any art classes. And I don't foresee myself ever taking any. The college in my town doesn't offer any art classes, let alone any free art classes. And the next closest college is a drive away, if only I had a vehicle.

My aspirations seem to range from cartoons, to spec. art, concept art, digital art, fantasy art. A lot of things really.

As for previous works, I don't hold onto much and the things I have held on to aren't that great anyway. I have no decent camera to take pictures with. Also I seem to be incapable of drawing anything unless it's a direct copy from reference.

I found this sub through reddit's digital painting sub.

I apologize for the long post.