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12:57 PM, Wednesday March 9th 2022
Hello! Reggievalestorm5.
I've saw your submission has been sitting here for quite a while now, So i hope you don't mind if i would critique on your submission.
Arrows.
One thing that i saw in your submission is that you're posting the same pages of arrows, You should be posting a Different page of arrows instead since the exercise asked for 2 different page. With that said I'll move on and critique your work regardless.
Your arrows are a bit mixed in term of line confidence, Some are confidently drawn while others aren't, Some even have Chicken Scratchy feeling to them, Always remember that a confidently drawn line is better than multiple stroke. In this case i recommend you ghost the curve of the arrow before drawing it, And then trying to replicate the second stroke with the same motion as the first. In one fluid motion and line.
But other than that. I think your arrows are actually doing pretty well in term of conveying the illusion of 3d.
Organic forms with contour curves / ellipses.
My opinion for this exercise also felt a bit mixed. I think your main takeaway here would be Ellipses / Contour curves Degree change. If you look at the example in the exercise page. Here You can clearly see that the degree of ellipses change according to how they turn in space.
Imagine a coin facing toward you, At first you'll see them as a circle, But as you progressively turn the coin away from you. You'll slowly see the ellipses getting thinner and thinner. Until eventually it became a line (Not literally but just a very thin ellipses.)
Another second point i would like to make is When you're drawing sausages form. Keep them SIMPLE. as you see here in the example that Mr.Uncomfortable provided Here You'll see that he kept his sausages very simple. As i saw right now. Some of your sausages have their ends at different size and some widen up in the middle like an ellipses.
And my last final point is. It's better to draw less ellipses that does their job well. Instead of many ellipses that are mediocre at their job. Try to keep them roughly 3-4 Ellipses or contour curves per sausages form since more than that might be an overkill.
Texture analysis.
In this exercise. I can clearly saw your effort toward observing the shadow shapes instead of lines. So well done! And i can clearly see your mark are being placed purposefully.
One minor thing i would like to nitpick is You're not doing the seamless transition for the gradient one. This So don't forget to do this next time you're doing this via a warm up.
(Little thing i would like to mention is that your second row of gradient felt a little weird. Like you're including the first and the third texture into it. If this isn't the case then please ignore this message, However if it is always remember not to put them together since it might cause a bit of confusion.)
Dissections.
In this exercise you're being a bit shy with breaking the silhouettes. Don't forget that breaking the silhouettes will helps in conveying the illusion of the texture you're drawing actually exist in 3d space. Instead of a flat piece of paper.
While this one is a suggestion I think it might be great if you consider it too. I recommend you do the gradient for this dissection exercise too although uncomfy example doesn't show any gradient. I think it's a good practice too. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/7/final
Finally. When drawing form. Don't enclose on them fully, Instead leave some space left since we're not drawing outlines of the form. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/6/drawingforms
Form intersections
The first thing that jumps out to me is that Quite a number of your form isn't actually equilateral. Try to stick to those which have roughly the same height width and lenght.
And some of your form felt a bit stretched, For example quite a bit of your pyramid is stretching. Try your best to kept foreshortening rather shallow since if you didn't it'll distract you from the main focus of the exercise.
Organic intersection
Lets move on to the final exercise of lesson 2. The sausages party
For the first page i saw quite a bit of your form that isn't actually simple, Some actually widen up in the middle like Ellipses Instead of sausages. As usual Keep your sausages simple. Simple 3d form is better received as 3 dimensional rather than complex ones.
Secondly is Some of the form are actually a bit non-stable. https://imgur.com/a/aHF4Utb
Try to think of them as water-balloon.
**The other side will sag when you hold them on one ends, And both will sag when you hold on the middle part
Next Steps:
I would like an additional revision a bit.
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2 Pages of arrows. (Both the revision and the additional one.)
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2 Pages of Organic form (Both contour curves and ellipses.)
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1 page of Organic intersection.
Focusing on what i've critiqued above.
Best of luck!
12:03 AM, Friday March 11th 2022
A note about the missing arrows. When I am uploading from my phone to my computer, I have some problems keeping track of things and I oftentimes miss some things. If you can provide me a way to upload from my phone to my computer in a way that results in the least amount of errors, I would like that.
4:13 AM, Friday March 11th 2022
We make mistake sometimes, I also uploaded my submission from my phone to my computer too. And i think it's pretty normal to miss some of those little fellas.
Now lets moves on toward your revision.
Arrows.
The point i've critiqued on is your Confident of execution.
And i can clearly see that being Improved. So nicely done!
One thing you might want to do a little more to improve it is to Applied a bit more perspective to the scene. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/4/perspective Since right now some of your arrows ends have the same size.
Organic form.
You've made an effort toward what I've critiqued on (Ellipses , Contour Degree change.)
So nicely done!
One thing i want you to improve while doing those as warm-up is the
Form of the sausages This form might be a bit hard to draw at first (Speaking from experience.) but i think you should make an effort toward it since they'll Immensely comes into play in future lesson. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/5/step1
And don't forget that the middle part of the sausages doesn't widen up like ellipses
Organic intersection.
Wrapping up the critique with the last exercise.
I also think you'll need more practice with this one. You are making most of them sagging each other nicely, However you're using Complex form. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/9/complicated
And some of the sausages (Especially the ones on the bottom.) Still pointing toward the sky.
For your shadow don't forget to add them to your main sausages too. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/9/video Like in the video demo.
And lastly when filling in your shadow. Tried your best not to leave any white, Since they'll contrast with the black creating focal point where you don't want them to be
Next Steps:
I'll be marking this lesson as completed.
However i highly recommend you practice (warm-up) two exercise in particular.
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Organic Form.
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Organic Intersections.
Before moving on toward Lesson 4 (I saw your Lesson 3 submission in your profile, So i assumed you've completed the next lesson.)
Don't forget to get both Lesson 3 and 250 Boxes challenge critiqued.
I recommend to get the critiqued you can join the Drawabox Official discord.
https://discord.gg/wGgdYWCZkF And check out pinned message in #Critique-exchange.
Since they'll tell you actionable step in order to get your work into the "Critique queue"
Best of luck!
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