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5:51 PM, Thursday August 6th 2020

I have a number of things to point out, but I found it easiest to have first marked it out in this image, and to address each point below.

  1. As discussed back in Lesson 2, you should absolutely not be dividing your drawing up into an "underdrawing" or "sketch" (basically marks you don't feel are part of the final drawing, and therefore purposely draw more lightly or faintly with the intent of hiding them, and a "clean-up pass" (marks that are much heavier, usually drawn with more hesitation. Constructional drawing is about every single form you draw being a solid, 3D entity within the scene, and those forms connecting and relating to one another in clearly defined ways, and this kind of approach contradicts the spirit of construction. Instead, you need to treat every mark you put down on the page as being solid and three dimensional (as I believe I mentioned in my original critique). If you're going to put down a simple ball form to represent the abdomen, then you need to go on to wrap other forms around it for segmentation - not just ignoring it in a way where the original mass could just as well be erased from the final result. Each entity is a part of the final construction, and each and every mark should be drawn with confidence. If you look at any of my demonstrations, you'll see that I don't take any steps to hide things, and so neither should you.

  2. The shell on that beetle in your first drawing reads entirely as a flat, two dimensional shape, rather than a solid 3D form entirely because of how it lacks any clear relationship with the underlying, simpler structure of the abdomen (the one drawn in with a faint line). The initial mass doesn't feel that solid on its own, since you didn't really go to any effort to make it so (doing the whole underdrawing thing), but since it's a much simpler shape it's easier to interpret it as something three dimensional. Construction works under the premise that we can build upon a simpler scaffolding, and as long as we define the relationships between our newer, more complex forms, and that existing 3D structure, then we can make the new addition feel 3D as well. What you did here was largely taking a complex shape and stamping it on top, without defining any actual relationship between it and the form beneath. No attempt to wrap it around that structure, and so it just sits on top as part of the flat drawing.

  3. There are a number of important elements of the sausage method that you're skipping over. While as you move through the drawings your sausages get better at sticking to the 'simple sausage' characteristics, you pretty much always skip the important contour line that should be used to reinforce the joint between sausages as shown here.

  4. Similarly to what I explained in my previous critique about not cutting back across the silhouette of a form (because this will immediately flatten out your drawing), manipulating the silhouette of a form in any way is generally considered to be damaging to the illusion we're trying to create. If you want to add bulk to a sausage form, do so by adding another form that wraps around it, as shown here. The key is establishing a relationship between the original form and the new one.

Now, while I'm largely disappointed in the first three drawings, the last one is vastly better, and shows a total shift in how you're thinking about constructing in 3D space. I'm not entirely sure what changed, but it gives me a lot of hope about your understanding of the concepts, even if you weren't doing the best job with them initially.

Now, one drawing alone isn't enough to pass, and there are still aspects of the issues I lived above that are still present even here, even if to a lesser degree. So I'm going to ask for another 4 drawings, with the same restrictions as before.

Next Steps:

Do another 4 drawings. Focus especially on establishing the idea that everything you add to your drawing - every single little mark - is to define another 3D form being added to the structure. Don't think in terms of individual lines, and changing the drawing itself. The drawing is just a byproduct of this thing you're creating in 3D space.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
6:46 PM, Friday August 7th 2020

The next set of additional Pages: https://imgur.com/gallery/rEguYVy

I went back to the demos extensively and also looked at other students' homework, and I think I'm finally starting to make the connection.

I'm not sure why I've been having so much trouble with this, but I feel like these 4 drawings are much more 3D compared to the original submission and first set of additional pages. I looked at both the Mantidfly and Praying Mantis to see what my other drawings were lacking. 2 of my drawings I re-followed the demos for (while using different references images to make sure I actually learned and didn't just copy the site's instructions) and while I feel they're quite messy/excessive with lines, they do adhere more to what was asked. I used a lot of contours early on to keep in my brain that the constructions were 3D, and that made it a lot easier for me to add to it. Looking back at the ant I should have made the top addition to the thorax more in line with the silhouette, there is a bit of unintentional underdrawing present.

Anyway thank you for being patient and taking the time to inspect these 18+ bugs I've made! If these don't pass I hope at least I'm going in the right direction, because it feels more like it after these.

4:58 PM, Monday August 10th 2020

I think these are definitely looking much better than before, and as a whole you're demonstrating a stronger grasp of 3D space, and of how these insects are indeed existing within it. I have one small point to make about how you approached the "neck" on the ant at the end of the set. There you bridged between the head and thorax with a 2D shape, when instead you should be building up that structure in between with 3D forms all the way through, as shown here.

Anyway, I'll go ahead and mark this lesson as complete.

Next Steps:

Feel free to move onto lesson 5.

This critique marks this lesson as complete.
7:53 PM, Monday August 10th 2020

Thank you, I know they're not perfect but that diagram helps and confirms what I thought I have been not connecting in my head for some reason. I'll try even harder in Lesson 5 to always be thinking of 3D space and simple forms that wrap. All the mistakes have made this one my favorite lesson! I've learned a ton from all the extensive critiques and can't wait to start the next one.

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