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6:36 PM, Tuesday March 8th 2022

Hi! So, starting with your sausages, while still a bit wobbly, they look a lot more like simple sausages. The idea of changing degrees comes across well enough on the ones with ellipses, but when it comes to the curves, they all show almost the exact same degree; the curves sometimes misalign with the minor axis, and aren't as precise overall.

As for your insects:

The first one looks a lot more solid, cleaner, with better construction and more believable masses added on top, so I'll point out the issues. I don't know the bug you drew, but unless it had no discernible head at all (like a scorpion), you skipped the head ball on the initial construction. Start with just a ball, then add complexity on top of it.

Furthermore, both back legs, but especially the one that's behind the body, relied too heavily on observation when constructed, like you tried to catch all the detail and form of the leg on the first try, instead of starting with a simple sausage and adding forms later. They will look weird, as it is hard to control the width of the sausage on such long dimensions (when you start at least), but remember that the point of these exercises is to study construction, not for them to look nice or even close to the reference (although is nice when that happens).

The legs behind the body aren't drawn through the body (we can't see where they intersect it), that's another thing that tells me that you relied more on observation. Again, it looks nice, but it defeats the point of the exercises.

The second bug has all of these issues but even more pronounced. It looks flat, as most of the intersections don't look like intersections at all, but simple subdivisions on a flat page. The sausages lost their form, trying again to replicate all the complexity on first draft. I'd keep listing problems, but they all have to do with the same issues discussed before.

In relation with this last insect, I'll leave you this revision on wings and these two on the overall construction of similar bugs. In any case, here's the revision by Uncomfortable himself where those examples came from. You'll find out some of your same issues on that submission, so it will be good if you can read the whole thing.

I'll ask you for a couple of things before moving on. First, another page of Organic Forms with Contour Curves (just curves, not ellipses). It's not my intention to grind you with these (and you'll have a lot of opportunities to work with them in Lesson 5), but I think you can make them a lot better, they're also intertwined with the issues of your constructions, so it's good practice.

And second, I'll ask you to draw again that last bug, the dragonfly, taking into consideration all the corrections. Read this again, and think of it when you're working on the legs/tail of your dragonfly. Focus as well on making your initial construction (head, thorax, abdomen) solid and believable, before moving on with other masses.

That's it! If you have any questions, feel free to ask.

Next Steps:

  • 1 page of Organic Forms with Contour Curves (just curves, not ellipses)

  • Redraw the dragonfly.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
1:50 PM, Thursday March 10th 2022

Thanks once again for taking your time. Here is my revisions: https://imgur.com/a/7NRjBK1. I would appreciate if you can help me with observing the thorax where the wings are connected because I find it difficult to find smaller forms on itThis is the reference image: https://www.flickr.com/photos/andreaskay/48757679353/in/photostream.

11:48 PM, Saturday March 12th 2022

Hi! Let's see:

Your sausages are looking better, and the degree changes are visible now. They still get squished on the ends, so keep working on that on your warm ups, in the next lesson you'll use them a lot. Remember to think of them as two spheres joined by a tube.

Your insect is looking a lot better, especially the thorax with its legs. Now they look more believable and solid. The end section of the tail looks good too, with its subdivisions following the contour of the form, all build up from a basic structure.

Now, things to correct. For starters: if you look closely the tail of the dragonfly, it also has subdivisions, just like the end section. When you work on the next lesson try to work with the best available photos; as focused as you find them, because when they're blurry it's difficult to figure out certain sections.

You have a tendency of adding forms without considering the way they interact with the surface they're put on. In this example, you see that when the lines curve and accelerate as they approach the end of the sphere, that tells me that the surface is spherical; remember what was told at the beggining of Lesson 2: this whole thing is a lie, and we have to be coherent with what we say in our marks, so that the lie is believable.

Something similar happens with the intersections of the legs, they're just like a contour curve on a sausage, so you have to be careful and consistent when adding them, as that will tell you how the surface of the form behaves. The eyes in this insect work in a similar manner as the sausages; if you look closely, they're mounted on another form, and the one that's away from us interects that form. It's ok how you put it, as we said, it doesn't have to look exactly like the reference, but an intersection line with the head would've shown us better that the eye is a 3D form and not just a circle.

I modified and added some lines to the neck, so that we can sort of replicate that boxy link between craneum and thorax. In hindsight, maybe it would've been useful to add it to the initial construction.

Finally, your wings a similar issue; it looks like the main thing to improve is the understanding of how contour lines and intersections work. Your wing is fine; but the complexity you added reads more as a flat line. The supporting structures are fine as well, maybe a contour line to reinforce them would be useful.

I think you understood the lesson and so, I recommend that you move on to Lesson 5. However, I'd keep working on those sausages and their contour lines. In the next lesson you'll have to add a lot of masses and intersecting forms, so don't forget to re-read those lessons if you have to. That's the main issue I see in your drawings.

Next Steps:

  • Move on to Lesson 5

  • Keep working on the Organic Forms in your warm-ups.

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
7:43 AM, Sunday March 13th 2022

Thank you for taking the time to guide me. I will definitely take more time working on my organic forms and contour lines.

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