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3 users agree
9:31 PM, Saturday June 27th 2020
Hi Elnu,
Good work! Here is my critique. I am a beginner myself, so you may keep that in mind.
Lines
Your lines are solid, and I think I see them improving as the lesson progresses. I see some lines that have the right placement and length but are otherwise arched or not completely straight. Line confidence should be prioritized above placement, and placement above length. If you have arched lines that are in the right place, you're prioritizing the wrong qualities. Continuing to focus on ghosting and drawing from your shoulder should help.
Ellipses
I see you have two pages on ellipses where the shapes are drawn through 2-3 times, so that is good. A couple of the ellipses have wobbly lines, but I'd say most of them are confidently placed and kept within the bounds, each
ellipse touching each other, without overlapping. That's great.
On your funnels, especially the first page, the line in the middle does not cut the funnel in 2 symmetrical halves, which makes it difficult to gage the accuracy of the ellipses. The middle funnel on the second page is the most symmetric. Did you draw the lines first and then the funnel? I personally found it easier to draw the funnel first and then cut it in half with the line using a ruler.
Boxes
Good effort on these boxes! The first note I'd like to make is that you should never redo a line you've drawn even if it's wrong. You just have to pretend the mistake is what you wanted all along and finish the box or whatever without trying to fix the line itself. (This is still hard for me!)
For the most part on your rough perspective, width lines should be parallel to horizon and height lines perpendicular to horizon. I think you've managed this! Some of the back faces on the boxes have lines that are slightly tilted, but that's bound to happen.
On your rotated boxes, quite a few boxes aren't rotating. (For example, on the second page of rotated boxes, look at the outter most columns of boxes compared to the boxes next to them.) Here's the image from the lesson showing this error: https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/d73eea49.jpg . You might also consider varying the line weight and adding crosshatching to give the viewer a better since of what is in front of what.
I'd like to see you do one quadrant of the rotated boxes again so that you can practice those extremely rotated boxes on the edge and distinguish them from the somewhat rotated boxes that are between the center axis and the outside. After that, it's 250 boxes for you!
Next Steps:
One more "quadrant" of rotated boxes, making sure that no two boxes share the same vanishing points. (Nine total boxes: the center box, the two boxes to its left, the two boxes above it, and the other four boxes that fill that space.)
3:01 AM, Sunday June 28th 2020
Thanks so much for the detailed and in-depth feedback! I've done another quadrant of the Rotated Boxes, and it looks much better! I spent a lot more time ensuring that the initial box was drawn correctly to prevent inaccuracies from building up later down the line. I tried crosshatching, and it really helped keep things clear.
I also did another page of Tables of Ellipses.
Thanks again for the critique!
9:53 PM, Sunday June 28th 2020
Those rotated boxes are awesome! Great job! Good luck on the 250 Box Challenge!
Next Steps:
Do the 250 box challenge! Good luck!
1 users agree
9:15 AM, Saturday June 27th 2020
You should draw through your ellipses at least twice or three times as stated in the instructions.
You have only drawn the visible sides of the boxes in the rotated boxes and organic perspective boxes instead of drawing all of them.
Have you used digital mediums to do the exercises?
If you have gone through Lesson 0 you should be aware that the exercises should be done on paper with 0.5 mm fineliners, your work has marks of varying thickness instead.
It's recommendable doing over the entire lesson, but before doing that you should revise lesson 0 and actually read it, if you haven't done so before.
Next Steps:
Redo the lesson on paper per Lesson 0's instructions.
7:33 PM, Saturday June 27th 2020
Thank you for the critique!
I did draw through my ellipses two or three times on most of them. I realize I didn't do this on the first page of Tables of Ellipses, so I did an extra page.
Looking back on the lesson page for Organic Perspective, that exercise didn't require you to draw through your boxes. See Uncomfortable's example homework. Also, I have drawn through my boxes on Rotated Boxes. You can see sides of the box even if they are obstructed.
Also, I did not use digital mediums to do the exercises. They are scans; I have done all of the exercises with pen and paper. I did most of the excersizes with a Pigma Graphic 1 pen. It's a bit thick, but I'm still waiting for my Pigma Micron 08s to come in the mail (they're recommended 0.5mm fineliners).
I don't think that doing over the entire lesson is necessary, I have done it as said in the lesson materials!
9:31 AM, Sunday June 28th 2020
My bad then, nothing can stop you now.
This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
1 users agree
4:16 AM, Sunday June 28th 2020
Your additional quadrant of rotated boxes looks awesome! And your ellipses are great. I'd say you're good to go. Good luck with 250 boxes!
Next Steps:
Next step is the 250 box challenge! You are also now qualified to critique other lesson 1 submissions which is highly encouraged. Here's a quick guide on critiquing lesson 1: https://pastebin.com/dYnFt9PQ
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