Lesson 1: Lines, Ellipses and Boxes

3:25 PM, Thursday September 24th 2020

Lesson 1: Lines, Ellipses and Boxe Official Submisson (Take 2) - Album on Imgur

Imgur: https://imgur.com/gallery/otfCozZ

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One month after my first official, here is a new one, about Lesson 1: Lines, Ellipses and Boxes.

Thanks a lot a for your reviews and critiques!

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4:47 AM, Friday September 25th 2020

Hey! Let’s take this one exercise at a time~

Starting off, your superimposed lines look okay. They’re smooth, properly lined up at the start, and of a consistent trajectory. There’s a bit too few of them per page, however- try to fill your pages to the brim, if you can. Also, it’d be nice if you could experiment with different lengths of lines, as per the instructions (a few inches, then double that, then half-page width, then full-page width.) Finally, you’re meant to be superimposing each line 8 times- some of these seem like a lot less. If the ‘take 2’ in your title means that this is your second attempt at it, for official critique, I certainly understand some of the reasoning, but it’s no excuse. If anything, you should put more effort into this submission that you did last time. Anyway, moving on to the ghosted lines, these have a few issues, too. Firstly, you’ve used x’s, rather than dots, to mark their start/end points. Also, you haven’t been too careful about starting the line at the correct starting point. Remember that though it’s okay for it to overshoot the end point, or stop short of it, the starting point should be respected, as, contrary to it, this one speaks to our patience, in lining up our pen. By the way, here, too, it’d have been nice to try out a bunch of different lengths. The ghosted planes look a little strange. There’s, thankfully, no x’s anymore, but I don’t think I notice any dots, either. Are you sure you’re properly plotting out your start/end points? If not, it would certainly explain why these lines are much more wobbly than their counterparts in the ghosted lines exercise. Remember that our priority here is confidence, not accuracy. Ghost each and every line, as per the instructions. Also, each line is meant to be drawn once, and only once. You shouldn’t extend it if it stops short, or re-do it if it comes out wrong.

Moving on to the ellipse section, the table of ellipses exercise is missing. The ellipses in planes exercise looks okay, in the sense that your ellipses are confident, and rounded, but it seems no effort has been made for them to touch all 4 sides of the plane. While this is not, strictly speaking, wrong, you’ve robbed yourself of a chance to improve, as this is now just a glorified table of ellipses exercise. By the way, you’re drawing through your ellipses too much. 2-3 times is the recommendation, ideally 2. Also, see if you can lift your pen off the page at the end of them, rather than flick it off. The funnels exercise looks decent. Your ellipses are, generally, rotated around the correct number of times, and the minor axis generally cuts each one in two equal, symmetrical halves, though there’s certainly improvements to be made in both fields, still. Mostly, the issue here is that your funnels aren’t exactly symmetrical along the major axis. This isn’t, technically, a requirement, but it speaks to your (lack of) planning, so I’d recommend spending a little longer on the construction phase, the next time you attempt this exercise.

Finally, let’s talk about your boxes. The plotted perspective exercise looks nice, though you have, at one point, shaded one of the far planes (2nd frame, right-most box.) The rough perspective exercise has a few issues (in addition to the old ones, that is; i.e. it doesn’t seem like the lines have been ghosted (wobbly, no clear start/end points), there’s automatic reinforcing present, etc.) For starters, the correction lines haven’t been extended the entire way. It’s difficult, for both of us, to understand your errors, like this, which is the whole point of them. In addition to that, they show what the line should’ve looked like, had it been correct, rather than how off it was (from my phrasing, you can probably gather that that’s the opposite of correct.) Most important: they don’t seem to make too much of an effort to converge. This one is not exactly strange, considering the lack of ghosting (this exercise, in particular, is all about the planning), but still. The rotated boxes exercise is… missing. As for the organic perspective exercise, this is definitely the better of the bunch, but that’s not saying much. The entire point of it, that is to say, properly planning your points, and ghosting them, so that your lines may be the best they can be, has been missed, and the automatic reinforcing really highlights your mistakes, rather than hide them. Also, there seems to have been an effort to have all of the boxes be of the same shape, though this is not necessary. Finally, the increase in size is a little too subtle, so the illusion of flow isn’t communicated particularly well, but I suppose that’s a lesser issue in retrospect.

Overall, this is not a great submission. It’s important to understand that what we’re asking for here isn’t perfection- just that the student has read the instructions, understood them, and is doing their best to stick by them. Unfortunately, I don’t see much of that here. An attempt has been made, certainly, but certain omissions (mainly that of the ghosting method) make this attempt more of a waste of time, than anything else. As such, I’m going to request a re-do of the entire lesson, though I’ll only request 1 page per exercise. I’ll also allow you, if you wish, to submit these one at a time, if you’d like to be sure that you’ve got the previous one right, before moving on to the next one (this isn’t a bad idea, considering they build off of each other.) Be sure to re-read each section before you do, and, if you can, take some notes, too. Good luck.

Next Steps:

1 more page of each exercise

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
2:56 PM, Friday September 25th 2020

I'm sorry about the missing pages, I was certain I put all of them in my first post. I did the exercices.

Here are the rotated boxes and the table ellipses I've made for this submission.

https://imgur.com/gallery/w5I2xno

Feel free to give your impressions about these too.

Thanks for your offer about submitting one exercice at a time. I'll take it and make again the super-imposed lines exercices tomorrow and I'll send it next sunday.

5:25 AM, Saturday September 26th 2020

Hi! Real quick, the table of ellipses exercise has similar issues to the planes (poor spacing, rotating around your ellipses too much), and as for the rotated boxes exercise, this is a solid attempt at it, though the boxes don’t quite rotate, and some of them have spacing issues in their far planes. You also haven’t been too careful in regards to where a line starts/ends, in relation to the previous box, and, of course, there’s issues of line-confidence, but that’s of no concern for this particular exercise. Here, we’re mostly checking to see whether you’ve seen the exercise through to the end, and done your best. As I feel that you have, I won’t request that you repeat this one, but do give me 1 page of the table of ellipses exercise, same as all of the others.

5:16 AM, Sunday September 27th 2020

Thanks for your critics on the second part of the submission.

I tried to add them in the same imgur image gallery but it didn't work.

Anyway here is the first part of extra-exercices you requested. Super-imposed lines, Ghost Plane and Ghost lines.

https://imgur.com/gallery/0bz1Fa1

Feel free to ask them again if the execution does not meet validation standards.

I'll submit the second part tomorrow and the last part in two days.

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