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11:02 PM, Thursday November 4th 2021

Great job on your form intersections! They're looking really solid, save for some wobbly spheres. Your organic intersections keep me worried though, the added forms are too wobbly, and they feel flat because of the way that they're arranged. Try to think of them as balloons full of water, and think about how one form would fall into the next.

I recommend you go through Uncomfortable's video again and make one more page of Organic Intersections from scratch. Keep in mind the ghosting of all lines, the degrees of the ellipses and the way one form falls into another.

Sorry to keep you hanging in here, it's just that on subsequent lessons it will be kind of a big deal, and it's better for you to go from here totally understanding how it works. I myself am stuck on Lesson 4 thanks to my shortcomings on organic forms :P So yeah, good luck and don't get discouraged!

Next Steps:

  • Go through Uncomfortable's video again.

  • Make one more Organic Intersections page from scratch. Remember to ghost your lines and to think about the forms as having mass and weight.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
4:51 PM, Wednesday November 10th 2021

http://imgur.com/a/gf0V4u2 thanks for caring and giving me more to work on. tell me what you think about it... i don't think it's very good

1:09 AM, Thursday November 11th 2021
edited at 1:11 AM, Nov 11th 2021

Hi! Don't worry about it, we're all here to learn. So, it's looking better, I like the way your inner ellipses are starting to show the turning of the form, and it definitely feels more solid. That being said, there are still some problems that need to be addressed.

The leftmost sausage feels like it's pasted on, instead of feeling in the same place as the rest of the forms. The overdone lineweight on the top section does not help on that regard. On the same topic, your rightmost sausage has a cast shadow on top that comes from nowhere. Some of your lines are still wobbly, and most importantly, you didn't draw through your forms. That way, is hard to feel the weight of the forms and believe in the 3D illusion. You're clearly thinking of it by the way you plan your minor axis and the sausages, but you have to go all the way through. Don't worry about it looking messy, the lineweight on the intersection areas will clarify that.

I'll have to ask you for another page of the same exercise. I'm sorry, because we're getting a little grindy here and it's not the point to do that, but I do think it's necessary. Take a look at other submissions in here (there's a pretty good search mechanism) and compare it, see how the forms work with each other.

Before going for the homework, warm up with some sausages, and when doing the homework, take it slowly and be conscious about the way you draw. If you need to stop mid-drawing and come back a day later, that's totally fine. It will not come out perfect, that's not the point. The point is to see that you clearly understand the concepts on that part of the lesson. Keeping the lesson open while you work and consulting it at the same time is also very useful.

So that's that! You're almost there, keep it up ^^

Next Steps:

  • Make one more Organic Intersections page from scratch. Remember to ghost your lines, think about the forms as having mass and weight, draw through your forms, and apply lineweight only when necessary.
When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 1:11 AM, Nov 11th 2021
3:17 PM, Friday November 19th 2021

oh sorry i did it and completely forgot to post it here, i think there's some issues with the shadows and the sausage on the left is lying a bit oddly but appart from that it's better i think http://imgur.com/a/w5ZSAHe

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