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10:03 PM, Monday January 16th 2023

I'll be the TA handling your Lesson 2 critique.

You're making progress towards understanding the concepts introduced in this lesson and hopefully this critique will help you in your future attempts.

  • Starting off with the arrows section you want to be making sure you're drawing confidently to keep your arrows as smooth as possible, accuracy will come with mileage. There are spots where your arrows bulge/narrow suddenly, this is an issue because it gives the impression that your arrows are stretching which hurts their solidity. Remember that as our arrows move closer to the viewer we want them to widen consistently. It's good to see that you're trying to implement line weight, just remember that you want to keep your applications subtle and you'll become consistent with mileage. here are some things to look out for when applying it. I'd like you to experiment more with foreshortening in your future attempts, by utilizing it in both the arrows themselves as well as the negative space between their curves we can create a stronger illusion of an object moving through 3D space as demonstrated here.

  • Moving into the organic forms with contours exercise your forms are getting a bit too complex. We want to create our forms with both ends being the same size and to avoid any pinching, bloating, or stretching along the form's length as discussed here. Some of your line work here shows a lack of confidence as well, notably in your contour curves and ellipses. Speaking of contours I'd like you to try and shift the degree of your contours more. The degree of a contour line basically represents the orientation of that cross-section in space, relative to the viewer, and as we slide along the sausage form, the cross section is either going to open up (allowing us to see more of it) or turn away from the viewer (allowing us to see less), as shown here.

  • In the texture exercises you're focusing largely on outlines and negative space rather than cast shadows created by forms along the texture itself. This makes it difficult to create gradients with implied information which we could then use to create focal points in more complex pieces, by doing so we can prevent our viewers from being visually overwhelmed with too much detail. You also show that you're drawing from memory rather than giving yourself enough time to focus on your reference. Most of our time when doing exercises like this will be spent observing our reference and looking away for a quick second to add something to our page. For more on the importance of focusing on cast shadows read here. I'd also like to quickly direct you to this image which shows that when we're working with thin line like textures if we outline and fill the shadow we will create a much more dynamic texture than simply drawing lines.

  • In the Form Intersections exercise your forms are looking a bit hastily done. You're not making one large group of connecting forms as instructed and discussed here, often leaving smaller groups or individual forms floating on their own. There aren't many attempts at drawing intersections here either, while difficult and we don't expect you to do it perfectly in the beginning we do want to see you try your best.

  • While wrapping up your submission with the organic intersections exercise you show that you need a bit more time becoming comfortable with thinking of how these forms interact in 3D space and how they'd wrap around one another. Your contour curves are left floating in the forms rather than connecting to the edges which breaks some of the illusion of 3D space here, you're also not drawing contour ellipses on the end of your forms facing the viewer as demonstrated in the examples. Your shadows are hugging the form creating them rather than being cast on to another surface believably. It appears like your shadows aren't following a consistent light source, I recommend pushing your light source to the top left or right corner of the page to start with, it's easier than working with a light directly above your form pile.

I won't be moving you on to the next lesson just yet, each lesson builds upon each other and I'd like to make sure you understand a few of these concepts a bit more before potentially creating more problems down the road.

It appears like you may have tackled these exercises a bit too quickly, or maybe came back to them after a while and forgot some of the instructions as a number of steps were missed in a few of these exercises.

With that being said I'd like you to please re-read and complete:

  • 2 pages of the organic forms with contours exercise

  • 2 pages of the form intersections exercise

  • 1 page of the organic intersections exercise

Once you've completed the pages mentioned above reply to this critique with a link to them, I'll go over them and address anything that needs to be worked on and once you've shown you're ready for the next lesson I'll move you on.

I look forward to seeing your work.

Next Steps:

  • 2 pages of the organic forms with contours exercise

  • 2 pages of the form intersections exercise

  • 1 page of the organic intersections exercise

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
4:37 AM, Thursday January 19th 2023

For the organic forms with contours, should I do contour ellipses, contour curves, or 1 page of each?

8:28 AM, Thursday January 19th 2023

1 of each would be good.

5:30 AM, Thursday March 9th 2023

Sorry for the late response. Got caught up in a few things the past months and also went through some older lessons just to refresh my memory. Here are the re-done exercises.

https://imgur.com/a/XWlnRpS

8:41 PM, Thursday March 9th 2023

While there's still room to keep improving these are looking better.

I have no doubt you'll continue to become more consistent with more mileage so I'll be marking your submission complete.

Best of luck in lesson 3.

Next Steps:

Move on to lesson 3.

This critique marks this lesson as complete.
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