2 users agree
9:54 PM, Friday May 15th 2020
edited at 10:02 PM, May 15th 2020

Congrats on finishing lesson 1!

Your superimposed lines are mostly smooth, from what I can see, though there are a few wobbles. More importantly, they consistently have fraying on both ends, which is a sign that you might not be taking the time to plan your strokes. Your lines should be confident, but they should not be 'winged'. Make sure you take the time to place your pen where the line starts before drawing the rest of your line. This is also explained here: https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/8/fraying

When doing your ghosted lines, the same principle applies - you should be taking the time to place your pen on one dot before shooting for the other. Another minor nitpick is that you use '+' shapes instead of dots, which makes it harder (for me, at least) to see how accurate your lines are. It just adds a lot of extra noise, and I cannot tell whether you were aiming for the center of the crosshair or any other point on the crosshair. With dots there is no ambiguity.

Your ellipses are pretty well done. You've done a good job of making them round and smooth. That said, when it comes to your ellipses in planes you seem to have sacrificed that confidence every now and then to force your ellipse to touch every side of the plane. Your ellipses in planes are also far more wobbly in general, which leads me to believe you might be trying too hard to get your ellipse to fit perfectly in its plane. Remember, while you should certainly try to make it fit, confidence is far more important. In same thing applies to your funnels, but more importantly in that exercise you seem to have trouble aligning your minor axis. You should first be drawing a straight line for your minor axis (which should be going through the center of every ellipse in that funnel), dividing it in two, adding curves and then drawing your ellipses, prioritizing confidence but always trying to align them so the minor axis is in the middle. I believe you might have been drawing the curves first, which leads to a very misaligned minor axis. Remember, the main point of the exercise is for you to practice aligning your ellipses on a minor axis.

Your perspective exercises are generally well done as well. Occasionally I notice you've drawn more than one line for one edge of a box in your rough perspective and your organic perspective, which you should never be doing. It's not a big deal if you make a mistake with your line placement, just don't try to re-do it. On your rotated boxes, you do make the mistake of not actually rotating your boxes as the move outwards, but mistaking natural convergence for rotation (as explained here:https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/16/notrotating). On your organic perspective there are also some issues with convergence, but those will be ironed out with practice.

EDIT: I can't seem to edit my next steps, but I would also like to see one more page of superimposed lines, keeping in mind what I said about fraying on both sides. I again suggest re-reading the exercise page and watching the video on that page as well.

Next Steps:

Well done! Before moving on I will request one more page of funnels, keeping in mind what I said about the minor axis. I also suggest re-reading the exercise page and watching the linked video here: https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/funnels

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 10:02 PM, May 15th 2020
6:09 PM, Saturday May 16th 2020
edited at 6:28 PM, May 16th 2020

Hi! I did as you requested and completed one full page of funnels, they ended up being 2 as i didn't like how the first turned out. Here's the link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1pTf3bgADGH3iu7W2foBYQhpZo9BGGydc?usp=sharing

EDIT: I forgot the superimposed lines, and just added them!

edited at 6:28 PM, May 16th 2020
6:56 PM, Saturday May 16th 2020

Well done!

I can see a lot of improvement in your funnels, both in the smoothness of your ellipses and in their alignment to the minor axis.

There is still a lot of fraying on both ends of your superimposed lines, but there is a lot of improvement in that area, especially by the time you got to the bottom of the page.

Next Steps:

Your superimposed lines still had fraying on both ends but I believe you managed to nail it by the end. Go for the 250 box challenge!

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
4:56 PM, Saturday May 16th 2020

Thank you! its really nice seeing someone taking the time to make useful critiques! I really appreciate it, and going to take my time to improve those aspects

6:57 PM, Saturday May 16th 2020

You're welcome!

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