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8:53 PM, Saturday April 8th 2023

Hey @Abeanberry,

Thought I would drop in with a quick critique.

ARROWS

I liked how smooth and consistent your line work was. You really nailed the two parallel lines for each arrow component of the drawings so well done. Take notice of how your arrows are moving in perspective. A few got smaller as they come towards us which breaks the illusion. Several of the arrows are quite flat as well. You've made some very elongated by increasing the gap between S swoops. Some of the straighter arrows without many bends look really sharp (page 1 right middle).

CONTOUR SAUSAGES

Looking pretty good. A few times you drew very straight contour lines which gives the impression of flatness. ALso noticed some of the ellipses were not quite touching the edge which is an important piece to nail for a successful effect. Overall the ellipses look very tight, smooth and consistent.

TEXTURE ANALYSIS

No hatching! The HW guidelines say to avoid hatching for the sake of shading. In your crumpled paper texture you used lines to shade the dark areas. Every mark you make should be denoting something on the form. The effect looks alright but keep in mind the lesson guidlines. The bricks and the basketweave are very nice.

TEXTURED SHAPE

I can see how much attention and time you put into covering all the surfaces of the object. They're very nicely done. One thing to consider is the application of the gradient technique on your forms. This both saves time and also gives the viewer the opportunity to fill in their own details. Remember you don't need to draw every texture on the form. You can simply elude to them. Also, same with the texture analysis, try to avoid hatching and scribbling for the texture. Focus on the unique shadow shapes you see and do more of a two value contrast study. Later you can add in midtones with marker. Alternatively, used a toned piece of paper for the midtones and pick out highlights with a white gel pen or Posca paint pen.

Please take the critique of the shape textures for what they are. Overall the work is beautiful and you give the impression of the subject matter quite well. Really liked the pine cone!

SHAPE INTERSECTIONS

These look neat and tidy. The only things I noticed of issue were the cone points and the ellipse where they intersect a form. These two didn't match up well so I would recommend trying to place the ellipse within the two converging lines of the cone to achieve the effect. Also, some of your boxes had the convergence of the liens off kilter so try and make them all aim towards their VPs.

ORGANIC INTERSECTIONS

I think you went too far on trying to have the sausages concave or have irregular surfaces. These kinda look like they are made of jelly with how much the surface contours. Think about when you lay a sausage on top of another sausage. It will bend, but it has a solid interior structure so there isn't this oozing effect that most of your have.

That's all for now. Good work and keep going :)

Next Steps:

Texture objects with no hashing or scribbling.

Make Sausages that are more solid so they don't ooze.

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
1:15 AM, Friday April 14th 2023

Thanks so much for the critique! It was concise, helpful and easy to read through. I do have one question though, what ellipses are you referring to in the Shape Intersections?

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Sakura Pigma Microns

A lot of my students use these. The last time I used them was when I was in high school, and at the time I felt that they dried out pretty quickly, though I may have simply been mishandling them. As with all pens, make sure you're capping them when they're not in use, and try not to apply too much pressure. You really only need to be touching the page, not mashing your pen into it.

In terms of line weight, the sizes are pretty weird. 08 corresponds to 0.5mm, which is what I recommend for the drawabox lessons, whereas 05 corresponds to 0.45mm, which is pretty close and can also be used.

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