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2:42 PM, Sunday June 5th 2022

Hello! Ivopedro, I am Doctormein and i'll be the one in charge for critiquing your work today,

  • Organics Arrows

Your arrows looks great! You're not afraid to let the arrows overlaps each others and you apply the perspective properly, On top of that your line is also confident too, One thing i would like to critique on is the line weight accuracy although it wouldn't be really fair to judge you harshly, Since many student also struggle with this area (Including me), One thing that might help you out is to practice Superimposed lines But instead incorporate more Curve into your practice, Overall you've done well.

  • Organic forms with Contour lines

(Ellipses variant)

Your organic forms so far looks good too, There's a few stuff i would like to critique though, Firstly Your ellipses felt a little bit deformed, This might be the result of you trying to kept them tight and snuggly (Which is a good thing) But always remember that Confidence comes before accuracy,

Secondly is that I don't think that you should draw organic form way too straight (1 sausage {one without center line} in page 2 is elongated), It might fall into "Complex sausages" categories https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/5/simplesausage so try to keep them a little bit "Flowy" (Although i am not very sure myself) "{You might also wanna practice more of those sausages shapes, I saw you're struggling a bit (Which is absolutely normal) They'll come in handy while doing lesson 4 and 5 (Speaking from experience)}

Finally, This is more of a suggestion rather than a critique, It might be a good idea to make your ellipses shift in degree a little more dramatic, Right now i can clearly see the degree shift, But it would probably be wise to also exaggerate it a little to make it more visible.

(Contour variant)

The critique for this section is all probably mentioned above, (Including the degree shift suggestion) I still think you've done quite well! So i'll provide you with this https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/368871002584907776/867744968432549928/QTEqgJa_1.png?width=618&height=601 (A picture of a little more advanced version of this exercise, That i've obtained via official drawabox discord) It might be a good idea to start praticing those shift in "Ends" too!

  • Texture Analysis

Your texture assignment is surely well done! I can clearly your conscious effort toward drawing the cast shadow instead of lines with all marks having been done purposefully too, However i still see quite a little bit of lines present (Mostly in woods texture), https://imgur.com/M9JJfr4 When attempting to draw very small or narrow shadows, You might want to draw first and try your best to observe the reference and draw very small shapes accordingly

Even with all of that said, You've done a well done job for this exercise, So nicely done.

  • Dissections

For this exercise, I think the main takeaway is that The principles from texture analysis exercise still apply here, You should still be drawing shapes instead of lines, (Like bricks , soldier helmet , tentacle)

You are also not breaking silhouettes in your first page https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/4dd5336a.jpg but this got fixed in page 2, So i think it's fine

  • Form intersections

Boxes only pages

For your boxes only page you tend to repeat your line a bit, Although i understand for some boxes it's for line weight, Always remember that line weight should only apply to the silhouettes, While being confidently drawn, Don't stop them half way, There's no need for applying line weight to those inner part of the boxes

Now for the meat and potatoes of the exercise, Making the form resemble the same scene, It might also be a good idea to stick to Equilateral form to focus on the core of the exercise, https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/8/video But overall i think you've done pretty well in term of making them resemble the same scene (I also saw a little bit of clear divergence on those boxes, It would be a good idea to iron them out via 250 boxes warm-up too)

Non-boxes pages

For the non-boxes page i felt a little mixed, The form is resembling the same scene, but quite a few of your form are being drawn a bit hesitantly, As always Confidence before accuracy so try your best to be confident, But overall i think the main point of the exercise is still achieved.

  • Organic intersections

Wrapping up this critique with Organic intersections, The biggest thing i wanted to mention is that Don't use the clean up pass, You seem to be drawing the organic form quite faintly before going over it with dark lines, Don't do that. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/8/cleanup because this undermine the whole construction as a whole, When you put your line down, Be confident and be bold, Even if the line isn't exactly where you wanted, don't go over it and try to fix it, Leave it as it is.

Finally is that You're not drawing through your forms, If you don't draw through your form, It'll be harder for you to understand the relationship between those object in 3d spaces.

Your drawing looks solid in term of how those sausages sag and interact with each others, But those 2 are the main components that is missing.

I'll be moving on to conclusion for now.

Next Steps:

I want you to provide me

  • 1 page of Organic intersection Focusing on stuff i've critiqued above.

And although i didn't assign this, I think it would be a good idea, To practice a little more with form intersection too, You don't have to provide it for me in the revision, But simply kept what i've critiqued above in mind, And improve your work with that (you might want to draw bigger and make the form more Equilateral too)

I think that wrap up all the stuff i want to mention, Feel free to ask me question below!

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
12:49 PM, Monday June 6th 2022

Thank you very much for the critique. It sure did help me to fiugre where to improve!

About the organic intersection and the clean up pass: seen the image of example (https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/07fd0fa0.jpg) made me think I should line weight the visible parts of the pile of sausages. Thats why i did so much line weight, I wasnt realy cleanin up.

I willl follow your structions to make all the form through and I will line weight just to show dominance where the form intersect.

1:06 PM, Monday June 6th 2022

Ah, I think that example was an old one, watching video of the lesson might have clear things up, Since many people got quite confused too https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgcmB26CHLY Goodluck with your revision though!

2:09 PM, Monday June 6th 2022

https://imgur.com/a/CXibCES

1 page of organic intersection

2:50 PM, Tuesday June 7th 2022

Thank you for bearing with my revision, Now i'll be moving on to critiquing your work.

Overall you've improved and follow the instruction nicely, (Drawing through form, using line weight only to show dominance where the form intersect) While being confident with your line too, There isn't really much to critique here Except mini unstable sausages form on the right, Which felt like it's about to fall off a bit, But I think you've done well

Next Steps:

Feel free to continue on to Lesson 3 while doing all 3 (Lesson 1 , 250 Boxes , Lesson 2) as a daily warm-up

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
2:52 PM, Tuesday June 7th 2022

Thank you! You helped me much

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