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6:49 PM, Friday May 8th 2020

Starting with your arrows, you're doing a pretty good job of having them flow well through 3D space, aside from one minor issue that I want you to keep an eye on. You have a tendency of having really sharp turns as they move through space, so try and round them out a little more. Also, your little hatching lines that help clarify how the arrows twist and bend over one another should run perpendicular to the flow of the arrow. Right now yours are more slanted.

Moving onto your organic forms with contour lines, between these pages you definitely improve on maintaining simple sausage forms. You're clearly striving to do so throughout, but towards the beginning you tend to have situations where the ends of the sausages come out more stretched rather than spherical. You improve upon this a fair bit by the end, however, and your sausage forms come out more consistently. You vary here and there between demonstrating an understanding of how the degrees shift naturally along the length of a given form, but you also tend to have areas where the degree of your contour ellipses and curves remain consistent and appear more stiff. I think it's a matter of when you're thinking about it, and when you're distracted by the other challenges at hand.

Remember when it comes to those degrees that the end closer to the viewer will be narrower, and the end farther away will be wider. This is actually best explained in the context of cylinders, but of course it applies here too.

Lastly, you do need to keep working on maintaining greater control over your contour lines - especially the contour curves. When your contour lines don't sit snugly between the edges of the sausage's silhouette, it undermines the illusion that the line itself runs along the surface of the form. Remember to apply the ghosting method to every single mark you draw. As long as you do so, your accuracy will continue to improve with purposeful practice.

Moving onto your texture analyses, you've definitely taken the use of large, solid shapes instead of lines and outlines to heart and I am thrilled to see that. For the most part you're doing an excellent job and it allows you to demonstrate considerable control over the density of your textures as you transition from dark to light. I have just one little point to mention - in your crumpled paper, towards the far left in the dark area, you have little slivers of white. I can understand why you've included them - out of a desire to demonstrate the peaks of those crumpled sections - but I think realistically speaking you're unlikely to see those kinds of sharp edges in this kind of texture's darkest regions. Crumpled paper is more about large swathes of either light or dark, rather than fine edges in between.

You continue applying your strong grasp of texture and your lovely use of shadow shapes throughout your dissections as you explore a wide variety of textures. You're largely doing an excellent job, and for the most part are thinking about how those textures wrap around the underlying rounded form. There are a few places where I feel the roundedness becomes a bit of an afterthought (especialy when you've got large chunks like the fried chicken). Just make sure that you remember that turning surface in all situations, and factor that into your choices through the whole process in order to sell the curvature as strongly as possible.

Your form intersections are coming along quite well. You're definitely doing a good job of constructing the forms together within the same space such that they feel cohesive and consistent, rather than as flat shapes pasted together on a flat page. One thing I did notice however was that when using a minor axis line for your cylinders, you tend to let that minor axis run between the middle of each ellipse. Instead, try and draw the ellipses such that they sit on top of the minor axis completely, with the line passing all the way through. This will help you with the alignment.

Your work with the actual intersection lines here are coming along nicely. It's worth mentioning that this aspect of the exercise really is only an introduction to a concept explored throughout the entirety of the course - here we're just laying the groundwork, ensuring that these spatial relationships are something you start thinking about as you move forwards. You have an excellent start with them however that will serve you well as we continue to work on our spatial reasoning skills.

Lastly, your organic intersections are successful insofar as they sell a fairly strong illusion that the forms are slumping and sagging over one another, establishing clear interactions within 3D space and establishing a sense of gravity as being applied to the series of objects. That said, I think that you should strive more in the future to stick to simple sausage forms - while they are not rigid forms, don't let them deform as heavily as you have here.

All in all, your work is coming along quite well. As such, I'll go ahead and mark this lesson as complete.

Next Steps:

Feel free to move onto lesson 3.

This critique marks this lesson as complete.
3:57 AM, Saturday May 9th 2020

Thanks for the critique Uncomfortable!

I just want to check something regarding the 25 texture challenge. I've started it before, since I started DaB before becoming a patron. So, I have some textures done and have been given the go ahead by a TA to continue using them. The thing is, one of the textures I did was crumpled paper, which I did here as well. So, do I do a 26th texture, disregarding this one, or do I just stick to 25? Thanks!

8:24 PM, Saturday May 9th 2020

That's fine, you can include it in your 25.

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