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6:55 PM, Thursday September 7th 2023
Hi there. I'll be handling your lesson 2 critique.
Before we begin I'd like to say that this critique is going to be fairly blunt and I'll be attempting to keep it short to get you working on the next steps as soon as possible. That being said know that it's not meant to be upsetting and is merely a critique of the work provided and not your character in anyway, apologies all the same if it's upsetting in any way.
It seems like you may have tackled this lesson a bit too quickly as there are a number of mistakes and instructions missed or not completed as tidily as they could have been.
While normally if one or two of these issues came up, I'd explain them in more detail, but the overall impression here is that you did not take as much care in going through the instructions as you could have. So, you can treat the following point form list as things to focus on when going through those instructions again.
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In the arrows exercise your lines lack confidence at times.
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Your hatching and line weight could be applied with more care as it's currently quite messy.
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There's pinching and bloating occurring which shows you may have been hesitating due to not having spent enough time ghosting your lines before drawing them confidently.
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In the organic forms with contours exercise your organic forms are looking too complex rather than like the simple sausages described in the instructions.
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Your contour ellipses aren't being drawn through as instructed in lesson 1.
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Your contour curves don't fit your forms frequently, aren't spaced evenly, are stiff and lacking confidence.
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You're also not shifting the degree of your contours as instructed.
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In the texture exercises you're not focusing on cast shadows and instead focus on outlines, negative space, and colour shifts.
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You're drawing from memory rather than taking the time to observe your reference.
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Your attempts are quite messy and at times are just entirely filled in with ink.
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In the form intersections exercise, you're not taking the time necessary to create solid looking forms. Your boxes have diverging lines, you're not drawing the minor axis in all of your ellipse based forms either. Your hatching could be tidier as well.
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In the organic intersections exercise your forms are often left floating rather than wrapping around one another believably.
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Your contours don't fit your forms tidily. Your forms themselves get a bit too complex here as well at times.
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Your shadows are hugging the form creating them rather than being cast believably on to the forms below.
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Your shadows also don't follow a consistent light source and instead cast in seemingly random directions.
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Small final note but you're not drawing through your ellipses here either.
While certain mistakes are understandable and even expected in any lesson submission, a lot of the ones occurring here are the result of choices to work too quickly. You want to make sure you're taking your time, utilizing the ghosting technique in its entirety, investing time into all three phases (planning/preparation/execution) and ultimately drawing every mark you make in a smooth and confident motion.
Unfortunately because of this I'll be asking you to re-complete Lesson 2. The texture exercises are something that most students struggle with and it takes a fair bit of mileage before they're comfortable with so you're free to pass this section in your redo. That said, be sure to let the critiquer know you were allowed to do so in your submission so they don't think you just skipped it for no reason.
Seeing as how this will be an entirely new submission it will require a new critique, this means that it will cost you an additional credit upon submission as well.
While we never like giving out full redos they're necessary at times when a student is blatantly ignoring instructions or just trying to tackle things much too quickly.
Be sure to read/watch through the lesson material, and take your time to create work to the best of your abilities. I know you're capable of better than this and look forward to seeing your work in the future.
11:05 PM, Thursday September 7th 2023
Hello. Thank you for your critique. While I will be taking your critiques into consideration, I will like to add that I did not attempt to do any of these exercises too quickly in any way. This lesson took me a month to do and I wholeheartedly made sure that I understood the instructions given and that I took my time. However, if you feel like I rushed this lesson, I understand; but I respectfully disagree that my attempt was the result of working too quickly. Thank you for understanding.
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