2 users agree
4:17 PM, Sunday May 23rd 2021
edited at 4:25 PM, May 23rd 2021

Hello!

I'm here to give you some additional feedback as discussed on Discord.

Arrows

These are off to a good start, your lines look smooth and confident and you've done a pretty good job of increasing the scale of the arrows as they get close to the viewer. I noticed some of your superimposed lines are a bit hesitant on the first page, but the second page looks better so you're headed in the right direction. When you practice this exercise in the future try compressing the space in between the folds of the arrows as they get further away, as seen here https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/011d064f.jpg

Organic forms

You've largely done an excellent job of keeping the forms simple as described in the lesson instructions, great work. On the whole, most of your ellipses and contour lines are well aligned to your central axis, and you've "hooked" most of your contour lines around, well done. Some of your ellipses overshoot the sides of your sausages a little bit, so that's something you can work on when you practice this. I'd also like to see you varying the degree of your contour lines and ellipses a bit more. I can see you've done this a bit, but there is plenty of room to try exaggerating it a bit more.

Texture Analysis

Good effort here. I can see you focussing on cast shadows I can see you were really paying attention to the instructions. It looks like you were relying on outlining the bricks in your analysis square, but your gradient turned out much better, with the big cast shadows under the bricks and drawing more implicitly, good work. The transition between the black bar and the dark end of your texture gradients is quite abrupt. If you choose to to the texture challenge really think about how you can make that transition smoother. This image may help https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/7d1f3467.jpg

Dissections

Most of these wrap around the forms well, and you've done a great job breaking the silhouette, well done. Your basket and meat textures look like you were relying on outlining instead of drawing implicitly but your work is mostly heading in the right direction. I think your tentacle was particularly effective.

Form Intersections

You've done good work here. Your forms all look solid, and as if they occupy the same scene, and that's the main objective. I would like to remind you not to cross out parts of your work, even if you're not happy with them, as it only serves to draw attention to the mistake. You've generally done a good job with your intersections too. I attempted to download a page and do a markup but I was having technical difficulties. You've done them plenty well enough for the purposes of this lesson, so I guess it doesn't matter. When an intersection meets a sharp edge or corner (say on a box) the intersection line will aso have a corner. On a few of your intersections you've curved them around a sharp edge, but it really is a minor issue.

Organic Intersections

Good work keeping your forms simple, an remembering to draw through them all. Some of your forms seem a bit "floaty" and weightless to me. They look more grounded in your redo, with you really wrapping them around each other, well done. Some of your cast shadows are somewhat confusing to look at, and some of them are missing. Really think about where the light is shining from and what direction the shadows will fall, when you practice this exercise in the future. This image might help https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/516f8d4f.jpg

Overall this was a really great homework submission, well done!

Feel free to move on to the next lesson and good luck in your art journey.

(Edits were made for typos, whoops)

Next Steps:

Have fun with lesson 3!

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
edited at 4:25 PM, May 23rd 2021
4:32 PM, Sunday May 23rd 2021

Hey there thanks once again, doesn't feel right if i leave your critique here without answering.

Again super helpful critique :)!

0 users agree
4:47 PM, Wednesday May 12th 2021

Hello,

most exercises are done well, organic intersection has a lot of mistakes though - the forms do not feel like they're wrapping around each other - center line of each form should follow cross countor of form below it, shadows do not wrap on forms they fall on - this flattens the forms even further.

I suggest redoing organic intersection exercise (rewatching/rereading exercise too) before moving on.

Good luck in your art journey!

Next Steps:

1 page of Organic Intersections

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
5:04 PM, Wednesday May 12th 2021

Hey thanks so much for the critique! I was about to ask on the discord for it to be added to the critique exchange spreadsheet! Aahahha, anyway Thanks again for your time, It will probably take some time for me to work and draw a good organic intersection, but really thanks for the critique!

12:31 PM, Friday May 14th 2021

Hey I drew another page but i'm not sure how it came out.

https://imgur.com/a/e1xcvrW

anyway thanks for the help!

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