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1:50 PM, Tuesday August 25th 2020

This looks good! I see the effort put into this, so I'll try to put some effort into this critique as well.

Arrows: when you look at the whole page, they look very good. However, as I zoom into each one, I see a problem which is how you applied line weight. You are applying it to the whole line, which is wrong because it undermines the solidity and flow of the arrows. Apply it strategically on the turning points and overlaps only. Another problem that you put too much line weight, which you probably did because after applying it to the whole line you felt like it needed more.

Sausages: the outlines are so clean! How do you do that? However, the sausages flat because you're not varying the degree of the ellipses that much, especially on the contour ones. Moreover, i think the ellipses themselves could be improved. Some look like you shoul've ghosted them more before. It also seems you're having troubles with raising your pen unintentionally? This could be an indicator of a lack of confidence in your marks, and it must be corrected anyway because it's affecting negatively the tridimensionality,

I want to point out one specific sausage, the top one on the center of the first page. I'm getting mixed messages about its orientation in space. It's foreshortening makes me think the top part is closer to us, but then that small ellipse at the bottom makes it look like it's actually the bottom that's facing towards us. Be careful with these kind of disagreements.

Texture analysis: probably my favorite page from your homework. It is clear you understood this exercise.

Most students, myself included, tend to have more difficulty transitioning to pure white than to pure black, but in your case it seems to be the opposite. Your transitions to white are very good, especially the one in the middle, but your transitions to black are too sudden. Maybe try looking at the exemples shown in the lessons again, or other submissions from other students.

I also noticed that the edges of the areas filled with black are too irregular. if they had been less wobbly the textures would look so much better. You could try outlining first the shapes you pretend to fill with black to make sure the edges are confident and smooth, and then fill them.

Dissections: the textures here are worse than in the texture analysis exercise, and it's because you started outlining shapes instead of suggesting them (for exemple, see the fur, cloud and octopus textures). You also started scratching and scribbling, which is a common mistake that arises when you aren't looking too carefully. This is probably the biggest mistake on these pages because I see in lots of the textures (for example, banana, stone and leaf).

The edges of the areas in black here are also irregular, like in the texture analysis. You also didn't fill properly with black some areas which results in noisy zones uncomfortable to look at.

Form intersections: First of all, FILL THE PAGES as much as you can. Don't worry about the page getting confusing, it's how you'll learn the most. The forms look good, though the cylinders are a bit too stretched (remember that you should stick with more compressed shapes because the extreme foreshortening that arouses with elongated forms creates unnecessary complexity. You also are quite obviously making a clean up pass, which is a very big mistake. Read here why https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/8/cleanup

The intersections themselves look good, but I see what you did there. You are definitely avoiding intersections between curved forms. You only have two intersection of this type and it's the same: between a sphere and a cylinder, in the easiest position. Don't be afraid and intersect cones, spheres and cylinders. They are the most difficult, but you will learn more with these than with any other.

Organic intersections: my first though was "these look good, almost too good". Looking closer, it's easy to see why: the lines are thin and wobbly, which is a clear indicator that you lacked confidence in your mark making and focused on your accuracy and keeping them thin. Your priority should always be making confident, bold lines. The rest comes after.

Tridimensionally speaking, the piles look good. Though the cast shadows are too thin.

Generally speaking, I see a lack of confidence in your marks everywhere. The lines are too thin and sometimes wobbly. Sometimes the line even gets interrupted because you raised the pen. Are you still practicing all the lesson 1 exercises as warmups (especially the ones that focus on confidence)? And if you are, read the instructions again so you know what you should be aiming towards.

Next Steps:

Before moving onto lesson 3, I'm going to ask you to repeat two pages of form intersections, keeping in mind the feedback I gave you and filling the pages as much as you can. Maybe read the instructions again. After you finish them, send them here for us to see and you'll probably get the badge.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
4:49 PM, Wednesday August 26th 2020

Wow ! Thanks for this incredibly detailed and structured review !!

I did not expect so much.

Arrows

You are right about the arrows. I think that, on one hand, I misinterpreted the instructions (and I understand better with your remarks), on the other hand, as you pointed out, I find it difficult to have confidence in my lines.

I exercise almost every day, I have a routine that takes the exercises from lesson one, the ghosted lines, superimposed lines lines and the funnels in particular, I thought I managed it (https://imgur.com/gallery/wGfALPg ) I need to work more !

Several things still pose problem to me:

  • I think I have a tremor that is difficult to control

  • when I have to draw small things with the shoulder, I lose a lot of precision

  • and when I come out of the exercises, in production or something else, I become hesitant again...

Result for the arrows, the areas where I have to draw small are very imprecise, and when I want to add weight to my lines, I miss the overlay the most of time, so I can't stop myself from trying to correct it, to smooth it, adding lines, but it doesn’t look good, I realize ! And if I go back slowly, my line become shaky.

I'm going to strengthen my routine and redo a few arrows, I admit that after 4 months of routine, sometimes I lose hope of having a clear and precise line…

Sausages

you underlined once again the lack of confidence, and yes this is still a problem ... And I think I have to increase my 3D envision.

Texture analysis

You are right about the edges in dark areas, still problems of inaccuracy and when I want to correct, I miss my overlays.

About the transition, however, I think I am quite close to the examples in the lesson, but I see what you mean and being more gradual could also be done.

Dissections

I didn't think I had been scribbling, but maybe a little, I mostly have trouble being precise when I have to draw small. I will be able to manage my edges one day...

I will surely make a few dissections more to improve my skill (it's long ... but necessary).

Intersections

It's not so much a clean up pass as the desire to make overlaps to appear, but still with my imprecise superimposed problem, which causes me to surperimposed more slowly ... and it's wrong ... I will work to control that.

Avoiding intersections between curved forms ? it was not intentional, I will do more in the next few pages.

Organic intersection

Yes same problem of confidence ...

Thank you for your critic, one time more ! It confirms me some weaknesses, and stimulate me to become better.

So I did some more pages :

link to the additional pages : https://imgur.com/gallery/g2HPLpb

Arrows

I tried to work more spontaneously, I forbade myself to pass more than once time to add weight to the lines, even if I missed the line (which happens all the time, and it’s ugly).

I looked your work, and I’m impressed, it’s incredible for me, your line quality is so nice. For the arrow exercice you become my model ! I can’t understant how you’re able to superimposed lines so cleanly ?

I try some superimposed curves (see the page linked), and I always miss the line. Maybe, I’ll never get it, but I’ll continu to try.

You gave me a lot of time with your critics, and I don’t want to abuse, but I have a few questions to try to understand better :

  • how fast do you make your lines ? The fastest you can ?

  • and how fast do you make your superimposed lines ? As fast as the first one or slower ?

My big problem are the superimposed lines, when i’m going to slowly, my lines become trembling. When I’m going to fast, I always miss the line and my drawing becomes hairy… No solution for me !

Other questions :

  • do you touch the sheet with your palm when you’re drawing ? Or are you totally free hand ?

  • do you work on a inclined plan (draw table) or flat ?

And questions that deal not with the subject :

  • are you russian (I'm french) ? Your rough drafts look like role-playing character sheets, and with Cyrillic fonts ? Wich role playing game ?

Dissections

I redid some of my textures with more accurate edges

Intersections

You asked it, I did it. Hope better than the previous one.

For now I don’t have any production to show, I hope one day… But maybe you, you have an instagram or else to show, I think you’re talented, and I will certainly follow you if you have somes works, inspiring works !

9:14 PM, Thursday August 27th 2020

I love these new pages, what an amazing progression! You really corrected everything!

Arrows: Notice how even though the line weight in your arrows isn't that precise, they still look far better than before. The precision wasn't really the problem. The problem was the amount of line weight you put before, and now that that you have limited the amount of passes they feel much more alive. I also noticed you're now slanting the edges, which probably has contributed to make them more organic. However, you're slanting them only in a fashion that kinda undermines the foreshortening, in the sense that they feel wider in the "side" farther from us. That doesn't mean these are less valid, but try to make some bending in the other direction too in the future.

Dissections: look how clean the edges are now! So much more pleasant to see.

Form intersections: now that the line weight is applied only locally, the whole feels clearer. I see you're struggling with intersections with curved forms, but that will improve with time as long as you keep practicing the exercise and try weirder intersections.

Thank you for the nice comments about my submission! Still, you're far from right when you say my superimposed lines are good, just zoom at some the arrows haha. In fact, some edges have quite an amount of passes, but I've already corrected that, just as you have.

Some answers to other stuff:

  • when I have to draw small things with the shoulder, I lose a lot of precision

It's normal, but you should still do it. Confidence before accuracy. I'm now doing lesson 3 and I completely destroyed one of the drawings because I started doing very small circles with the wrist. It just looks SO WRONG for some reason.

  • and when I come out of the exercises, in production or something else, I become hesitant again...

Don't worry about that as long as you're doing it right inside the lessons. As you internalize the concepts they will begin to show everywhere else. And anyway, we hardly ever need all this rigor outside of these lessons. It's more about changing your mindset than your actual process.

  • About the transition, however, I think I am quite close to the examples in the lesson, but I see what you mean and being more gradual could also be done.

I don't think the examples mean to show the best quality possible, but instead to show effectively the main points of the lesson.

  • how fast do you make your lines ? The fastest you can ?

Fast enough so I can't think when I'm marking, but definitely not as fast as I can. The best tip I can give you is to make the lines as slow as possible as long as they don't have any wobbliness.

  • and how fast do you make your superimposed lines ? As fast as the first one or slower ?

I'd say as fast as the original one. Until a few days ago I was doing curved lines a bit slower and I would get wobbliness regularly, but because I'm now with lesson 3 and in this lesson flow is the top priority, I've been forced to change this bad habit.

  • do you touch the sheet with your palm when you’re drawing ? Or are you totally free hand ?

I hover because I usually put too much pressure when I support my palm with the page. And when i do use touch the page it's very lightly.

  • do you work on a inclined plan (draw table) or flat ?

Flat. Though I tried an inclined table in the past and I noticed my circles were looking better, so I'll probably buy one in the future. Still not a priority.

  • are you russian (I'm french) ? Your rough drafts look like role-playing character sheets, and with Cyrillic fonts ? Wich role playing game ?

Which rough drafts? Cirillic fonts? I don't know what you're talking about ahah. I'm not russian nor french.

I do have an art instagram, but only close friends follow me for now. Hope you understand, and anyway I'm sure you'd be disappointed haha.

Next Steps:

In my opinion, you definitely pass the lesson, let's hope other users agree! Remember, of course, to keep practicing all of these exercises as you move onto lesson 3.

That being said, I haven't seen if you've corrected the sausages. You don't have to post them here, but make sure to apply the feedback to them as well, because with your latest improvements in the arrows, textures and intersections they have now become your weakest exercise!

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
10:16 PM, Thursday August 27th 2020

Thank you for all your answers !

Concerning the question of nationality, it is your third page (https://imgur.com/a/RINhIC0), we can see some writings through the page, which made me think of cyrillic and role play...

Have a nice journey on DrawABox.

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