1:50 PM, Tuesday August 25th 2020
This looks good! I see the effort put into this, so I'll try to put some effort into this critique as well.
Arrows: when you look at the whole page, they look very good. However, as I zoom into each one, I see a problem which is how you applied line weight. You are applying it to the whole line, which is wrong because it undermines the solidity and flow of the arrows. Apply it strategically on the turning points and overlaps only. Another problem that you put too much line weight, which you probably did because after applying it to the whole line you felt like it needed more.
Sausages: the outlines are so clean! How do you do that? However, the sausages flat because you're not varying the degree of the ellipses that much, especially on the contour ones. Moreover, i think the ellipses themselves could be improved. Some look like you shoul've ghosted them more before. It also seems you're having troubles with raising your pen unintentionally? This could be an indicator of a lack of confidence in your marks, and it must be corrected anyway because it's affecting negatively the tridimensionality,
I want to point out one specific sausage, the top one on the center of the first page. I'm getting mixed messages about its orientation in space. It's foreshortening makes me think the top part is closer to us, but then that small ellipse at the bottom makes it look like it's actually the bottom that's facing towards us. Be careful with these kind of disagreements.
Texture analysis: probably my favorite page from your homework. It is clear you understood this exercise.
Most students, myself included, tend to have more difficulty transitioning to pure white than to pure black, but in your case it seems to be the opposite. Your transitions to white are very good, especially the one in the middle, but your transitions to black are too sudden. Maybe try looking at the exemples shown in the lessons again, or other submissions from other students.
I also noticed that the edges of the areas filled with black are too irregular. if they had been less wobbly the textures would look so much better. You could try outlining first the shapes you pretend to fill with black to make sure the edges are confident and smooth, and then fill them.
Dissections: the textures here are worse than in the texture analysis exercise, and it's because you started outlining shapes instead of suggesting them (for exemple, see the fur, cloud and octopus textures). You also started scratching and scribbling, which is a common mistake that arises when you aren't looking too carefully. This is probably the biggest mistake on these pages because I see in lots of the textures (for example, banana, stone and leaf).
The edges of the areas in black here are also irregular, like in the texture analysis. You also didn't fill properly with black some areas which results in noisy zones uncomfortable to look at.
Form intersections: First of all, FILL THE PAGES as much as you can. Don't worry about the page getting confusing, it's how you'll learn the most. The forms look good, though the cylinders are a bit too stretched (remember that you should stick with more compressed shapes because the extreme foreshortening that arouses with elongated forms creates unnecessary complexity. You also are quite obviously making a clean up pass, which is a very big mistake. Read here why https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/8/cleanup
The intersections themselves look good, but I see what you did there. You are definitely avoiding intersections between curved forms. You only have two intersection of this type and it's the same: between a sphere and a cylinder, in the easiest position. Don't be afraid and intersect cones, spheres and cylinders. They are the most difficult, but you will learn more with these than with any other.
Organic intersections: my first though was "these look good, almost too good". Looking closer, it's easy to see why: the lines are thin and wobbly, which is a clear indicator that you lacked confidence in your mark making and focused on your accuracy and keeping them thin. Your priority should always be making confident, bold lines. The rest comes after.
Tridimensionally speaking, the piles look good. Though the cast shadows are too thin.
Generally speaking, I see a lack of confidence in your marks everywhere. The lines are too thin and sometimes wobbly. Sometimes the line even gets interrupted because you raised the pen. Are you still practicing all the lesson 1 exercises as warmups (especially the ones that focus on confidence)? And if you are, read the instructions again so you know what you should be aiming towards.
Next Steps:
Before moving onto lesson 3, I'm going to ask you to repeat two pages of form intersections, keeping in mind the feedback I gave you and filling the pages as much as you can. Maybe read the instructions again. After you finish them, send them here for us to see and you'll probably get the badge.