6:42 AM, Saturday January 14th 2023
Hi, I'll be giving you my critique for this lesson. I want to first congratulate you on finishing Lesson 2! Give yourself a pat on the back. Anyway, onto the critiques:
I'm having difficulties viewing it with the way everything was stacked on top of one another multiple times. While it's ok, might be better to space them out a bit and not have everything on top of one another. I feel like the foreshortening ended up a bit too sudden because the large end suddenly became smaller too fast. Try to play with the sizes a bit more gradually. About the shading on the bends, you seem to get some of the shadings backward. Some of the shadings you did were on the outer side of the curves. Meanwhile, the shadow would be made when an object is in front of it. It wouldn't make sense to have shadings on the outer curve, it should be on the inner curve. Check the example clearly and you will see what I mean.
Organic Form with Contours
For the one with full ellipses, I think the only problem you had is that some of the ellipses you had went over through the sausage you had made. Some of it looked a bit crooked, so a bit more confidence and training would help iron it out. For the contour curves, the degrees in the same sausage looked too similar to one another, reducing the illusion of the 3d objects. If the viewing angle doesn't allow much variation, you can try to increase the degrees bit by bit instead of using the same degrees. Check the homework page for this exercise "Mistake: Degrees all the same" for a better explanation.
I think you did pretty well with the texture analysis, I really liked the third one. For the first and second ones, I think you should put more cracks and crevices with bigger line weight to make the illusion on the left side because the transition from dense to sparse is not enough. Still, I believe you get the idea as you finish the third one.
I feel like some of the patterns tried to recreate ended up a bit too simplistic. Take a look at the Cow, Tigerskin, Zebra, and Giraffe. They lack the curvature and feel like the texture was put on a 2d shape. Since it's also fur, you would expect them to at least pop up a bit like the fur hair you did. Some of the textures like paint, orange, and lime looked too random and felt like you were just scribbling. The grass texture that you did looked a bit simplistic too, even though it should have looked similar to the fur hair you did. Remember to separate each stroke to let go of that auto-pilot habit.
I'm having difficulties with which shapes are supposed to be the front. All of them had the exact line weight so I could only interpret it based on the intersection that you had. Even then I found difficulty interpreting your intersections, I saw a lot of random wobbly lines that didn't make sense. For example, a tube intersecting with a box would probably result in a curvature similar to the tube, not a wobbly line inside. I suggest using adding more weight to the line to show how the form is intersecting. Also please be mindful of the boxes you draw, some of the lines cause the box to look crooked. Take your time when doing these exercises :D
Some of the sausages float mid-air which could be explained by the way the bend, but you are missing several shadows on the back. Just because they are on the back doesn't mean the sausage doesn't have any shadows. The sausage however looked a bit crooked as well, try to ghost them before actually drawing it.
I think my overall feedback would be to take your time when doing these exercises. Use the ghosting method so that your ellipses or your sausages don't look that crooked. I will request several revisions of some of the exercises. Take your time with it alright :D
1x Page of form intersection (Put extra line weight on the part that is intersecting to make it easier to understand)
1x Page of contour curves (Don't draw the same degrees)
1x Page of organic arrows (be mindful of the shading and do give a bit more space to make things easier to understand. Don't change their size too suddenly, do it gradually)
4:13 PM, Monday January 16th 2023
Hi and thank you for your critique.
Here is my revision:
12:02 AM, Tuesday January 17th 2023
Nice, you got what I meant for the organic arrows. Also, good job on highlighting the intersection between forms. Though the intersection between that cone and box I think should look like a quarter circle, everything else looked good. I can also see a lot more variation for the contour curves, some were straight and the other was a bit straight, so good one!
You can continue to the next lesson. Good luck!
Staedtler Pigment Liners
These are what I use when doing these exercises. They usually run somewhere in the middle of the price/quality range, and are often sold in sets of different line weights - remember that for the Drawabox lessons, we only really use the 0.5s, so try and find sets that sell only one size.
Alternatively, if at all possible, going to an art supply store and buying the pens in person is often better because they'll generally sell them individually and allow you to test them out before you buy (to weed out any duds).