2 users agree
7:04 AM, Tuesday May 31st 2022

Hi,

let's start with your organic arrows, they mostly look good and confident. One thing that's a problem is that your shading (at the bends) is breaking your arrow silhouette (the lines are exiting the borders of the arrow). This makes the drawing look rushed and messy.

Your contour ellipses look pretty good: the lines you used are confident, you went through your ellipses. Good job.

I see that you had some lines redone and occasionally they got wobbly, try to avoid that in the future.

The contour curves are wobblier than usual, maybe you found this more challenging? Or did you try to fit everything on the page? I believe it might be better to risk overlapping them with confident lines than filling the page evenly. You did try to turn the degrees of the curves and I see you know what to do. You'll practice this more in the upcoming lessons.

Your texture analysis is excellent, it looks good and you managed to transition nicely from dark to light. Keep it up.

Your dissections are also pretty good: you mind the curvature, I can see that you took your time with them; however, occasionally you "overdo" it, for example, with the grass and pineapple. You filled the entire section with texture and you lost the curvature and that transition from dark to light. I had problems with this too, still do sometimes, the point is: sometimes drawing less is better. The viewer's eyes get to rest and you can focus (by adding more detail) things or defocus them (by leaving out detail). It is also easier for you - you don't have to fill the entire image with details, which is very time consuming.

Your form intersections mostly look acceptable. The most persistent issue I'd like to point out are intersections with boxes. Notice that the vertex of a box is formed by 3 planes. That means that if you cut it off, you'd see a triangular shape. Yet, when you intersect it with another plane (cut it off with that plane), you draw a quadrilateral shape (as in image 1). It's (a) in this picture. Again, don't redo your lines (unless it's for the ellipses).

The organic intersections look good, I see that you made a mistake in image 1 that breaks the illusion a bit, but everything else seems fine: you are wrapping shadows around forms, and making sure your contours follow the surface.

All in all, this is a good submission.

Next Steps:

Try to do another page of box intersections, experimenting with different shapes of intersections like in this picture.

Think about which planes are participating in the intersection and use that to draw it.

I know this is difficult, but it will help you immensely later on.

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
6:49 PM, Tuesday May 31st 2022

https://imgur.com/4AmbdFQ

Thank you for the helpful feedback! I really appreciate it.

With the help of the diagram you linked, I think my box intersections are more correct now. If they still have issues, I am happy to try again, too. But I fixed the main issue where the corner intersections were not triangles and instead they were quadrilaterals (I'm not sure what I was thinking there).

What do you think?

2:56 PM, Wednesday June 1st 2022

This is much better, and what I wanted to see. Again, nice job with this submission and keep it up in the future lessons!

Next Steps:

You can move on to lesson 3.

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete, and 2 others agree. The student has earned their completion badge for this lesson and should feel confident in moving onto the next lesson.
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