I know I made plenty of mistakes, but I think I got better as I went along. For example, the branches page is FULL of tails, but I think there’s a lot less in the branches for the actual plants. Also, I accidentally drew 5 of the plants with texture and only 3 without, but one of the TAs said it was fine so hopefully that’s not too big of a deal. ????
Hello I will be doing your lesson 3 critique.
Arrows
For the most part your arrows are good with implied perspective and overlaps.This shows that you have 3d space awareness and that you can twist and turn them in space.While doing line wight for this exercise it should be done as same as doing normal lines meaning it should be ghosted slowly and not traced.I say this because in your work there is line wight but its mostly wobbly and/or consists of repeating lines. https://imgur.com/a/YKFScOc
Branches
As you said in your branches exercise there are a lot of tails.This is a common mistake but since a lot of your branches have this mistake I need to assign you to re do this exercise.Also your forking branch in wrongly constructed https://imgur.com/a/tATHWfB
Leaves
I like how leaves turn in space and for the most part they are drawn confidently,overall its pretty good but there is some mistakes I want to point out.In particularly with texture.When doing texture or cast shadows more specifically you should carefully study the reference to see where the form cast shadow and how can that shadow imply form.I say this because I am a bit confused with leaf 5 https://imgur.com/a/GsxqauV
Plant Construction(Demos)
Daisy
Again as you said there is a branch problem.Other then that I want to focus on leaves.While in the official demo for this exercise there you arent told to draw an ellipse for your leaves I think it would help you out so that it looks less messy and more organized.Same can be said for cast shadows as they also look quite messy and they all battle for viewers attention. https://imgur.com/a/ES17CFk
Bunny Ears Cactus
For the most part this exercise is very well done. Overall construction looks believable and form is pretty good.One thing I would like to mention tho is that the pebbles that are on the ground are to explicit and they take away from the main vocal point.In the future try adding just a few rock-like shapes insted of explicitly drawing whole shapes.If needed look back at lesson 2 texture. https://imgur.com/a/NJKh4mi
Mushroom demo
There are some tails here but thats it really.Construction of this one looks believable and solid also texture is also good since you did it as shapes and not as lines.Good job on this one!
Osteospernum Whirligig(?)
I like how you try to push yourself with this one.This flower has really complex leaf structure and that provides a lot of trouble.In this situation I would recommend you to try and look up for more references of these type of flower so you can better understand their leaf structure.Ellipses that i mention in Daisy Demo could be applied here as well.Also I would recommend to brake down and simplify leaf structure and use that simplified version of leaf to draw the flower.I tried doing it 2 times so you can have a better picture in your head but you dont need to stick to this simplification. https://imgur.com/a/4zEK2uV (the red shade is added for clarity)There is also the same problem of texture as in the Daisy Demo.I will assign you do redo this one but I do not except you to do it correctly since it is a complicated structure so I if you fail but do other revisions good I will still pass you.
Ficus Microcarpa
For the most part construction looks solid and well executed.Be aware of when doing texture you should not do it as lines but rather shapes that you will fill with ink. https://imgur.com/a/CB3XrGY
Also I didnt mention this earlier but when doing shadows you need to be particulate careful.The way shadows that are used in DAB is that they need to compliment form and should compete with main vocal points.This is a common mistake that I see in your work.Ask yourself if this shadow shape is going to add something to the form/is this shadow shape going to compliment the form and will I get clearer image,sometimes its enough to add just a bit of ink.
Corpse Flower
This one has similar issues as previous ones mostly leaves are really off so start with ellipses and leaf construction also needs to be simplified a bit.Use of shadows in this exercise could actually be really good to separate vocal points.
Chinese Black Bat Flower
This is also a very complicated flower there is a big problem of proportion and clarity here.Now even tho strings of the flower arent leaves I think its the best to construct them as you would for leaves.Use ink to separate important parts. https://imgur.com/a/NyKgII1
Most of the mistakes here are repeated as in the previous constructions.
Asian Bleeding Heart
Branches arent consistently drawn and that results in off looking construction without weight.When doing forked brunches do them with method that I linked.You need to slow down a bit and observe your reference clearly.Form of the flower-shaped things can also be constructed with a ball-like shape. https://imgur.com/a/mbTEsXg
Next Steps:
Overall I see that you are trying and working hard you just need some directions.Take time with these and good luck
I accidentally didnt put revision work in my original critique so here it is:
1 page of branches
1 page of lilly demo
1 page of Osteospernum Whirligig(?)
1 page of Asian Bleeding Heart
again good luck with revision!
Thank you very much for the in-depth critique, it is much appreciated. I think you explained everything really well, but I was going to say that with the Daisy demo, you mentioned that the shadows looked messy and competed for the viewer’s attention, and I tried to do better at that but I’m fairly certain I did worse because I couldn’t find anything in your critique about exactly how I’m supposed to go about fixing that. ^^” And I mean that with all due respect!! I really appreciate the critique and I think it helped me improve a lot, I’m just still a little unsure how to fix the shadow problem. All of that being said, thank you again and here’s my revisions!
So unfortunately Draw a Box dosent cover any lessons that go into light and colour,there isnt a specific part of a lesson,demo or a video that I can point you to because there isnt one.Every shadow that is done in DAB includes a bit of guessing.What I can give you though or what I failed to explain is that what are and how cast shadows are supposed to be used.
When there is a group of pedals stacked one on top of the other you should think about how and where will pedals leave a cast shadow,you should not be thinking about light source or how light leaves the shadows etc. https://imgur.com/a/yUCyrWX . This concept it covers in lesson 2 . If you need a reminder I suggest watching: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLZdcMTXWjc . The main problem I think you have is that you focus way to much on on shading rather then cast shadows.
Instead of form shading, what your primary focus should be is on cast shadows. Cast shadows occur when a form blocks the light. The key thing here is that where form shading occurs on the form in question itself, cast shadows are projected onto another surface. Texture is made up of the little forms that sit along the surface of a given object, and each of these textural forms can cast shadows. In fact, all of the lines we perceive as being part of a texture are generally just that: shadows.
All of the bumps, the changes in topography (where the surface rises or falls), little holes or scratches, etc. can all be thought of as independent bits of form that are added to or taken away from the surface of our object, and each one interacts with the light that is being shined upon it.*
I hope I clear that up a bit.If u are still confused about it I recommend going over into part of texture in Lesson 2 or asking questions on official discord server of DAB.
As for the revision its much better,good job.Even tho there are still a few tails in branches they are a lot more less frequent.Overall construction on daisy is much better,now there is a shadow problem but that is my mistake so I wont be making you redo them because of shadows.One thing I would like to point out is that you could have made a bit more petals but overall its still much better.Ostronespernum is also much better,I really like how you did consturction on this one same for the asian bleeding heart.Good job!
Next Steps:
Lesson 4
Like the Staedtlers, these also come in a set of multiple weights - the ones we use are F. One useful thing in these sets however (if you can't find the pens individually) is that some of the sets come with a brush pen (the B size). These can be helpful in filling out big black areas.
Still, I'd recommend buying these in person if you can, at a proper art supply store. They'll generally let you buy them individually, and also test them out beforehand to weed out any duds.
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