1:18 AM, Thursday October 7th 2021
I'll be the TA handling your Lesson 2 critique.
You're making progress towards understanding the concepts introduced in this lesson and hopefully this critique will help you in your future attempts.
Starting off in the arrows section your lines are looking smoothly and confidently drawn. There are spots where your arrows bulge/narrow suddenly, this is an issue because it gives the impression that your arrows are stretching which hurts their solidity. Remember that as our arrows move closer to the viewer we want them to widen consistently. This is a good exercise to experiment with line weight but when applying it we want to make sure we do subtly to key areas like overlaps to give clarity to our forms. Here are some things to look out for when applying line weight, and here are some reminders on how to apply it subtly. I'd like you to experiment more with foreshortening in your future attempts, by utilizing it in both the arrows themselves as well as the negative space between their curves we can create a stronger illusion of an object moving through 3D space as demonstrated here.
Moving into the organic forms with contours exercise your forms are getting a bit too complex. We want to create our forms with both ends being the same size and to avoid any pinching, bloating, or stretching along the form's length as discussed here. You're keeping your line work confident here which is great, if you feel uncomfortable working with contours still don't stress with more mileage it'll become more natural. Speaking of contours I'd like you to try and shift the degree of your contours more. The degree of a contour line basically represents the orientation of that cross-section in space, relative to the viewer, and as we slide along the sausage form, the cross section is either going to open up (allowing us to see more of it) or turn away from the viewer (allowing us to see less), as shown here.
In the texture exercises you're focusing largely on outlines and negative space rather than cast shadows created by forms along the texture itself. This makes it difficult to create gradients with implied information which we could then use to create focal points in more complex pieces, by doing so we can prevent our viewers from being visually overwhelmed with too much detail. For more on the importance of focusing on cast shadows read here. I'd also like to quickly direct you to this image which shows that when we're working with thin line like textures if we outline and fill the shadow we will create a much more dynamic texture than simply drawing lines.
It's quite common for people to feel like they don't fully grasp the form intersections exercise, if you feel like you may fall into this category try not to stress too much. This exercise is just meant to get students to start thinking about how their forms relate to one another in 3D space, and how to define those relationships on the page. We'll be going over them more in the upcoming lessons. Something I will note here is that you took a bit of a quantity of quality approach, you drew a ton of forms but they are quite messy and rushed looking. Your line confidence goes way down, your lines become quite sketchy and you tend to redraw over them. It's better to draw larger and fewer forms while focusing on making them to the best of your abilities rather than just fill the page with a ton of hastily done forms.
While wrapping up your submission with the organic intersections exercise you do a great job demonstrating that your sense of 3D space is developing as your forms begin to wrap around each other believably. You're keeping your forms simple and easy to work with which is a good strategy to help produce good results. Again you take a bit of a quantity approach here but you showed more restraint and kept your work tidy, if you are going to create a ton of forms this would be the way to do it but ultimately you risk burning yourself out more by doing this than sticking to a smaller amount. When it comes to your shadows you're pushing them enough so that they cast rather than just hugging the form that creates them which is a great start. It appears like your shadows aren't following a consistent light source, I recommend pushing your light source to the top left or right corner of the page to start with, it's easier than working with a light directly above your form pile.
I won't be moving you on to the next lesson just yet, each lesson builds upon each other and I'd like to make sure you understand a few of these concepts a bit more before potentially creating more problems down the road.
I get the impression you may be tackling the exercises a bit quickly, while you're definitely getting results in some of the exercises there are some steps that feel a bit glossed over. Not hatching or adding line weight to your arrows being one example of this, your line quality in your form intersections being another.
With that being said I'd like you to please re-read and complete:
- 1 page of the form intersections exercise, remember to take your time with each form, draw each mark confidently and don't feel pressured to draw as many as you possibly can. Fill the page but with large, good quality forms instead.
Once you've completed the pages mentioned above reply to this critique with a link to them, I'll go over them and address anything that needs to be worked on and once you've shown you're ready for the next lesson I'll move you on.
I look forward to seeing your work.
Please re-read and complete:
- 1 page of the form intersections exercise
12:16 AM, Monday October 11th 2021
https://imgur.com/a/Y4RaN8r Thanks for the critique! I did two pages because I realized the first redo was basically what you told me NOT to do. I made the second one bigger and tried to clean up the line work a bit more that time. Feel free to make me redo it if I'm still quite not getting it.
6:45 AM, Monday October 11th 2021
These are looking better, good work.
I think that as long as you remember to draw large and take your time to keep your work tidy you'll continue to see improvement in your future exercises as well.
I'll be moving you on to the next lesson, keep practicing previous exercises as warm ups and good luck.
Move on to lesson 3.