11:32 AM, Saturday August 6th 2022
Hey earvinwils! I am paperhat and I will be doing your lesson 1 critique.
My critique will be divided into three sections:
Super-imposed lines: Your lines here are confident and not wobbly, that is great! However, there are some things I can notice that can be improved upon. All your lines are somewhat the same length, be sure to practice lines in all sizes (lengths) when you use this exercise in your warm-ups. Your lines are only fraying on one end, which is great! But they fray quite a lot, be sure to take your time with every new line and ghost them properly, this should help you avoid a lot of fraying. And last of, nearly all your lines are arching. Arching might happen if you are not using your shoulder pivot. However, it might also happen if you use your shoulder pivot. In that case try to consciously arch in the opposite direction. Try to pay close attention on which pivot your are using. Also, same as for the fraying, be sure to take your time. This is a marathon not a race.
Ghosted Lines: With this exercise I see the same problems as with the first one. Your lines are arching a bit (not as much as before though, that is great improvement!) and they are all ruffly the same size. It again seems a bit rushed (notice how the line thins out towards the end?). I do not know if this is because you just wanted to be done with the exercise or you drew your lines super fast in order to have them more confident; I'm guessing you wanted to be more confident. Be sure to know that super fast does not equal confident. Maybe try drawing your lines a little slower, but ghost more often so you get a better feel for it. Don't rush it, practice takes time and patience.
Ghosted Planes: Here your lines are less arching, great improvement! The also look confident. However, they overshoot a lot. Do not get me wrong, a little overshooting is totally fine and to be expected, but here it is a bit much. I again would guess this is because you draw your lines super fast (at least it looks to me like that is the case). One other thing I can see here is that you did not put a point everywhere a line start and/or ends, for the "crossing middle lines" I cannot see them. They are a crucial part to ghosting!
Tables Of Ellipses: Your ellipses here look mostly confident (smooth) and not wobbly, your second page also shows great improvement when it comes to that, nicely done! However, there are 2 things I want to point out. First, your ellipses have more or less the same degree (width). Be sure to practice all kins of different degrees and angles of ellipses, that is very important. Second, you are not going around the ellipses two to three times properly. It is often only on ore one and a half times. That is not how it is supposed to be, please be sure to follow the instructions of the exercise and do not rush! Ghost each ellipse multiple times and then draw through it 2 to 3 times (2 times is prefered, but 3 times is ok as well).
Ellipses in Planes: Here your ellipses look a little less confident. Same as before you did not draw through each ellipse often enough. It also looks to me like you might not have ghosted the ellipses enough times, because the ones where you did draw through your second "round" of the ellipses is quite of from the first one. However, your second page here looks also better than the first one, this shows that with only a little more practice (1 page in this case) you can already improve, that is great!
Funnels: You placed the minor axis correctly, cutting the ellipses in two halves! Here some of your funnels are really great looking (smooth ellispes that do not over/undershoot a lot) and some share the problems as mentioned above. I guess the better ones are the ones you have done last, again, showing great imporvment within an exercise!
Plotted Perspective: You draw through your boxes which is very good. Your hatching looks neat and orderly.
Rough Perspective: You draw through all your boxes and use the line correction method. You keep the width lines are parallel to the horizon and height lines perpendicular to the horizon. Your lines are mostly confident, some are a bit arching but this looks way better than some earlier lines. However, same as before, your lines look very fast drawn and are overshooting quite a bit. You did however already estimate really well how the lines have to go in order to reach the VP, that is great!
Rotated Boxes:In this exercise your "cross" in the middle looks quite good, you keep the corners close and rotate the boxes. That is great! The other boxes are not really rotated though. Take a look again at this https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/17/step7 and at this picture https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/17/step8 . The difference you might notice is that your furthest corner is not "pressed down" enough and you have to "push it" further behind.
Organic Perspective: : FIrst of your linework here is way better than before! Your lines are confident, not as arching and way more accurate! Very well done! You have a variety of box sizes and angles, which is great. You also tried overlapping some boxes, but could have overlapped even more to give everything a more 3d feeling. Here and there you have some problems keeping up the illusion, because some of your line pairs are diverging and not converging. Have a look at this https://drawabox.com/lesson/250boxes/1/convergences if you do not understand what I mean by that.
First of all great job making it through all the exercises! You have sown great improvement not only within an exercise, but also over all exercises! That is awesome! There are some things, however, I would like you to try again before getting into the 250 box challenge. If you are not confident with ghosting and your linework that challenge will not be fun for you, so getting a good foundation now is crucial. It also seemed like you rushed a lot of exercises, so I would like you to take your time with the homework I am giving you. I know taking your time can suck, but it is important. Think marathon not race (: I hope this critique was not to harsh or anything and I am not totally off with my guesses (if so please let me know). If you have questions about my critique or otherwise, please let me know.
1 page Tables Of Ellipses ( be sure to not only stick to one kind of ellipse)
1 page Ellipses in Planes (try differently sized planes in order to practice different line-lengths and different ellipses)
1 page Rotated Boxes
3:04 PM, Saturday August 6th 2022
I feel grateful for you to take look and critiquing my homeworks... Honestly, i thank you for your critiquing my weaknesses in my homeworks.
As you mention, I am, indeed rushing my homeworks, because in Uncomfortable's video, he mentions to do homeworks to " The best of your current ability" And also because of fear that the longer I do the exercises, more anxiety i will experience about how should i follow the exercises
Also i want to ask you:
1 Can I critique other's homework right now or should i wait before my lessons marked as complete?
2 If my lessons have been marked as complete and after that, submit new lessons, should i wait one week just like lesson 1?
Once again, Thank you for your critique
4:16 PM, Saturday August 6th 2022
First of to your comment. I interpret to " The best of your current ability" a bit different I think. For me it means that it does not matter if everything is not perfect, if an ellipses overshoots a bit or a line is not 100% accurate. However, this only holds if I truly do my best: so ghost every line and every ellipses, think of what I am doing and, most importantly, take my time. I have to admit that that is hard sometimes (and I am only at the beginning), but the phrase "It's a marathon, not a race" keeps me going I think (I do not know which community member I am quoting here and have quoted in the critique before, but I have definitely read that from someone on the server :D)
To the anxiety part: If you are not sure if you are doing it right it might help to either watch the video again/read the text again or to simply ask on discord. Maybe it also helps to step away for a bit and start a bit later (maybe the next day) where you left of but with a different mindset and perspective on what you have done. Sometimes taking a step away and looking at it from behind is really helpful!
To answer your questions:
You should wait until your homework got marked as completed. So do the additional work I advised you to do and send me a new link with your work underneath this critique. I will go over it and if I think you are ready I will mark this lesson as complete for you.Then you can go critiquing others on their lesson 1 (:
For the other lessons and challenges you do not have to wait one week in between (you will probably also not finish every challenge or lesson within one week, especially if you pay attention to the 50% rule and do other stuff then drawing ;) ). What you have to do though is to critique five lessons/challenges you have completed before and then send Elodin a submission link on discord.The pinned message in the critique-exchange channel on discord also explains this.
12:16 AM, Sunday August 7th 2022
Thank you for the advice... i will make sure to perform better for next submission