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4:04 PM, Monday August 29th 2022
edited at 4:05 PM, Aug 29th 2022

I feel that there are a number of areas in which you could improve in, some big and some small.

Smaller Areas:

  • I have noticed that not much perspective was used in your "Organic Arrows" exercise. I would definitely keep this in mind, as much of Lesson 3 will be focused on this particular concept!

  • Your textures look detailed and mostly convincing. The only problem that I have is that it seems like you were trying to draw the forms as well as the shadows. Drawing only the shadows is very difficult, so I wouldn't worry too much about this, especially because you don't seem to have this issue on the "Dissections" exercise. It appears to me that the issue lies exclusively within drawing shadows that transition to light.

  • Speaking of the "Dissections" exercise, there were a few textures (grass and fur specifically) that I felt could have broken the silhouette, but did not. Breaking the silhouette makes for strong, informative textures.

Bigger Areas:

  • You didn't do a page of "Form Intersections" only consisting of boxes as stated in the homework page. Overall your other form intersections look good, but a bit timid.

  • Your sausages have very odd shapes in the "Organic Forms with Contour Lines" exercise. It appears to me that you made two parallel curves and then rounded the ends off. I would review on sausage making from the video and this infographic. Judging your sausages, most appear to be elongated, with some having different sized ends. Overall they are not very appealing. You do, however make good, but deformed ellipses inside of them, which is more of the point of the exercise anyways.

  • The biggest problem that I see is that it doesn't look like you are applying the concepts from the "Organic Forms with Contour Lines" exercise on the "Organic Intersections" exercise. The cross sections feel more arbitrary than planned out to push the shape of the form (The shadows also feel somewhat arbitrary, but this is a finer point). I am also having a hard time reading those pages overall. Where the sausages themselves also placed arbitrarily? I would recommend keeping the sausages in a more simple stack, as shown in the video and the example.

Overall, I see some particular areas in which you can improve, namely with your sausages. Unfortunately I will have to ask you to make some corrections before I can mark this as complete.

Next Steps:

1 filled page of the Form Intersections exercise (only consisting of boxes)

1 filled page of the Organic Forms with Contour Lines exercise (contour curves, not ellipses)

2 filled pages of the Organic Intersections exercise

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 4:05 PM, Aug 29th 2022
9:58 AM, Thursday September 19th 2024

https://imgur.com/a/UilH5u7

After a while, I got back ot it !

I hope it'll be better this time !

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A lot of my students use these. The last time I used them was when I was in high school, and at the time I felt that they dried out pretty quickly, though I may have simply been mishandling them. As with all pens, make sure you're capping them when they're not in use, and try not to apply too much pressure. You really only need to be touching the page, not mashing your pen into it.

On the flipside, they tend to be on the cheaper side of things, so if you're just getting started (beginners tend to have poor pressure control), you're probably going to destroy a few pens - going cheaper in that case is not a bad idea.

In terms of line weight, the sizes are pretty weird. 08 corresponds to 0.5mm, which is what I recommend for the drawabox lessons, whereas 05 corresponds to 0.45mm, which is pretty close and can also be used.

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