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Not knowing what to do, regarding the 250 cylinders.

2:12 PM, Sunday February 25th 2024

Hello, I havent done anything on here for a while but that is not because of any lack of trying. Infact, I have been trying, a lot. But this challange is my breaking point, I seriously do not know if I am able to finish it.

The first 150 cylinders were easy, quickly done, felt like I was doing something, all good, but for the past 2 months now I have been stuck at the boxes, just being able to do 30 at this point, meaning I have 70 more to do.

I don't want to get into details but I've been struggling with mental issues and bad coping mechanism my whole life. The 250 box challange already pushed me very, VERY close to my limits but I dont think Ill be able to push myself again to meet the 250 cylinder deadline. During the 250 box (which I have done in 3 weeks) my sleep got worse, my eating habits suffered, friends said I had mood swings and looked tired all the time and again mental health stuff I dont want to get into. The only reason Ive been able to avoid this with the cylinders is because in 2 months I have just done 30, because everytime I do 2 or 3 my mental state goes down bad very quickly and after 5 I am close to crying and panicing. It doesnt help that my line quality has gotten a lot worse over the past weeks as well and that half the time I am not sure what I am supposed to learn from this. It is genuinely beginning to be torture, even when I am not doing these I am thinking at all times that I still have to do 10 - 20 hours more of this and its effecting both my drawing abilities and my personal life to extremely unhealthy degrees.

I know that lesson 6/7 and the 25 wheel challange would be a lot easier for me, but with how its currently going I dont know if finishing the challange is worth it healthwise and I am considering calling it quits here with the course due to health concerns. I think it would be a shame to quit over something like this after all the work I put it in which is why I thought I ask for any advice one could give me in this situation.

Thank you.

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1 users agree
4:12 PM, Sunday February 25th 2024

Given the magnitude of the response you're having to the nature of the work - the panic, getting close to tears, having it impact your eating habits and such, I think you should stop working through the challenge, at least for now.

What you're describing sounds like something that would benefit from the advice of a professional - a counselor or a therapist - who can help you work through the source of these reactions, and help you develop the kind of strategies you may need to manage your emotions when working through difficult tasks.

As noted here in Lesson 0 (it speaks specifically about depression but applies more widely to any mental health concerns), you definitely should not be pushing yourself through this course if you are facing major emotional responses to it. While it is common for people to want to simply push through, to "be stronger", that is not achieved by simply ignoring or brushing aside the very real symptoms of what you're experiencing.

You can always come back when you're ready, or you can opt for a far less strenuous path than what we prescribe here - but addressing your ability to manage and work through your emotions when facing difficulty should still be prioritized first and foremost. Those things you're contending with are real, and they have a real effect on your life, and so they deserve the kind of respect and patience any physical ailment would receive.

4:53 PM, Sunday February 25th 2024

I have went through numerous amount of therapy, clinics which I stayed at for months; slept in them as well and I am currently getting help as well.

I think the real thing that causes me problems is the nature of the task being such a time toll, mundane and overall feeling of either not understanding the challange or not thinking its giving me anything of value in return.

I know for a fact that if I finish this challange everything would be okay, challange 6 seems extremely helpful and not very hard considering I already drew a lot of objects, 25 wheels seems not fun but the small amount of wheels plus being able to change them up would make it more than doable and challange 7 seems hard but helpful again.

The pure stress and anger from drawing a box, messing up a line or doing it well only to have to draw a cylinder in it and then not getting the ellipse in well at all or drawing a few in a row to make them fit better and not knowing which one is which and doing that over and over again for hours is exhausting.

I was honestly considering quitting and just doing lesson 6 and 7 without reviews to skip the challange but that seems unfair to you guys and also, again, if this challange wasnt there I probably would of finished the course by now so it also seems ridiculous to throw the towel over drawing 70 boxes.

It also made me draw far less to none in other courses the past two months because touching anything drawing related triggers a bit of PTSD at this point as silly as it sounds

Yeah, just not a fun situation for me right now haha. At this point my only two options are to push through and get to the parts I want to get to (probably just one awful week) or to quit and not get the last lessons which I think look really cool and helpful.

I suppose I will have to think it through. Thank you, I know this isnt the kind of question this board is for and I usually dont like to drag this into here.

7:57 PM, Sunday February 25th 2024

I think what might be best for you is to put drawabox down for now, and look at other far less stressful courses, or even just spend a lot more time drawing for yourself. This isn't the sort of course that you only benefit from by completing it - rather, lots of students move onto other things at a variety of points throughout its length, and they still take with them the growth and improvement they experienced, and the degree to which their brain has already been adjusted in how it understands the 3D space of their drawings.

A course is just a course, and if we happened to provide a certificate at the end to honour your completion of it, the piece of paper itself would not be worth anything on its own.

You've gained some things, you've certainly grown, but maybe what's in your best interest right now is a change of atmosphere and environment, to try looking at your art and the work you put into it from a different angle.

7:39 AM, Monday February 26th 2024

I've put some thought into it and concur, I don't plan on stopping Drawabox but I should probably put it on hold at least for a month or two and then see how I am feeling. Or maybe I just draw a box a day for now and come back in two months when thats done. Whatever I do, I think its in everyones best interest for me to take a breather from here.

I don't quite know what to do now, I suppose I can finally go into Bernt Evistons Gesture drawing series, but I also want to draw for myself like you said. Its hard for me to do that tho. Maybe I find a loose course that mainly makes me draw for myself with specific tasks i that. Or maybe I do what (I think) Dio suggested once and chose a subject that I draw everyday and try to make it unique everytime.

Whatever happens, be sure that'll return with a better mental state towards art and that for now I am just greatful for the great resource this course is, while not always pleasant, I doubt I would of grown or continued drawing as much if not for it and I am very thankful for that and the kindness shown here.

0 users agree
7:49 PM, Sunday February 25th 2024

"but I dont think Ill be able to push myself again to meet the 250 cylinder deadline"

Just to quickly wanted to add something, can you elaborate on the word deadline? Have you set yourself a finish date for this challenge?

9:06 AM, Monday February 26th 2024

Well I did want to finish it sooner rathat than later as 100 boxes seem like nothing to me now that I have done over 250 plus whatever else the course threw at me. Two months is the longest I have ever taken and its just for 100 boxes so you might understand my frustrations haha

7:53 PM, Monday February 26th 2024

I understand it wholeheartedly. I myself had to spend 2,5 years on and off with 250 Box Challenge, since my uni demanded from me a lot of time (med student), but it does end, and you do achieve the results. There's not a drop of shame from doing one cylinder a day, or in two days, or week; until you feel better and ready to push yourself. Perspective plays a huge role, "I have 250 boxes to do" and "I have 1 box to do today" are both correct sentences, but I did see the results with the second one, and maybe a shift in perspective may ease your work. Or as Uncomfy himself said, have a little well deserved break

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