Not knowing what to do, regarding the 250 cylinders.
2:12 PM, Sunday February 25th 2024
Hello, I havent done anything on here for a while but that is not because of any lack of trying. Infact, I have been trying, a lot. But this challange is my breaking point, I seriously do not know if I am able to finish it.
The first 150 cylinders were easy, quickly done, felt like I was doing something, all good, but for the past 2 months now I have been stuck at the boxes, just being able to do 30 at this point, meaning I have 70 more to do.
I don't want to get into details but I've been struggling with mental issues and bad coping mechanism my whole life. The 250 box challange already pushed me very, VERY close to my limits but I dont think Ill be able to push myself again to meet the 250 cylinder deadline. During the 250 box (which I have done in 3 weeks) my sleep got worse, my eating habits suffered, friends said I had mood swings and looked tired all the time and again mental health stuff I dont want to get into. The only reason Ive been able to avoid this with the cylinders is because in 2 months I have just done 30, because everytime I do 2 or 3 my mental state goes down bad very quickly and after 5 I am close to crying and panicing. It doesnt help that my line quality has gotten a lot worse over the past weeks as well and that half the time I am not sure what I am supposed to learn from this. It is genuinely beginning to be torture, even when I am not doing these I am thinking at all times that I still have to do 10 - 20 hours more of this and its effecting both my drawing abilities and my personal life to extremely unhealthy degrees.
I know that lesson 6/7 and the 25 wheel challange would be a lot easier for me, but with how its currently going I dont know if finishing the challange is worth it healthwise and I am considering calling it quits here with the course due to health concerns. I think it would be a shame to quit over something like this after all the work I put it in which is why I thought I ask for any advice one could give me in this situation.
Thank you.