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6:53 PM, Monday March 18th 2024
Hello Kendal53, thank you for getting back to me with your revisions.
While your leaf structures in here are much more fluid and have a greater range of ways that they move through 3d space ( which is great ) make sure not to neglect edge detail, it's still an important step of construction that greatly helps you further communicate how your structures sit and move through space.
For your branches you are actually deviating from the instructions for this exercise more than your original page, because you're not following the instructions for how to draw the edges as shown in the exercise instructions, while it's good to see that you're drawing your edges in segments you only take them up to the next ellipse point, you don't extend them fully to the halfway point between ellipses and you still leave ellipses too closely together, which removes the healthy overlaps between marks we seek to achieve in this exercise.
So don't forget how branches should be approached, by having your segment start at the first ellipse point, extending it past the second ellipse and fully up to the halfway point to the third ellipse, afterwards you'll start a new segment, making sure to place your pen at the second ellipse and repeat this pattern until your entire branch is complete.
Your plant constructions are generally looking more solid and they follow the instructions for the exercises much more closely.
Ease up on your lineweight, it's thick, with several passes going over the same marks and jump from one form's silhouette to another, which smooths everything out too much. Almost as if you pulled a sock over a vase, it softens the distinctions between the forms and flattens the structures out somewhat.
Instead lineweight must be subtle, used only to clarify the overlaps between the forms that are being built up, as explained here.
In general I believe you have shown noticeable improvement and that you've shown that you're ready to tackle the construction challenges present in the following lesson, as such I'm going to be marking this submission as complete.
Next Steps:
Don't forget to add these exercises to your list of warm ups.
Move on to Lesson 4.
3:34 AM, Tuesday March 19th 2024
Thanks man : )
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