3:55 AM, Wednesday October 5th 2022
Greetings! This is Doctormein and I'll be critiquing your homework for today.
Thinking in 3d
- Organic Arrows.
Your organic arrows flows smoothly through the three-dimensional space with no sign of hesitation at all. Well done. However, there's a little tidbits I would like to critique on. Firstly, you could attempt to be less conservative about foreshortening on your second page. I doubt this is really a, "bad," thing, but bear in mind that arrows are a flat 2d shapes. In order to bring its depths out, you should try to make it as clear as possible that it's moving toward or away from you. (Just like your first page!) Mistake page of this exercise.
Secondly, don't be afraid to reinforces your overlaps with lightweight. Pardon me If I was mistaken, but in many of your arrows, I rarely see you apply overlaps to them. Just like I've mentioned above, I believe this is not that big of a deal, but you should attempt to do it regardless. Don't be afraid to make mistake. All of these exercises are just exercises and does not reflect your value as a person, after all. A little overlaps attempt will do!
- Organic forms ellipses/contours
Ellipses section
Your organic forms are mostly well-drawn, keeping them simple will certainly helps out a lot while doing this exercise. Though I've said that, some of your sausages are odd in certain places, so I'll provide this link just in case.
What I believe needs working the most is your ellipses and contours, that I'll go deeper in a few moment.
To start us off, your ellipses, though confidently drawn and retain its proper shape, are very similar in angle. Consequently, makes viewers have a harder time to buy in the illusion of its being 3d. This is an example made by Uncomfortable himself. Notice how it feels more dynamic and more "3d". Here's another example you might want to pay attention to. This is one and only point I highly recommend you to attempt to fix for the organic form ellipses section.
Contour section
As I've previously mentioned, this exercise also experienced difficulty from the same problem as the last one, Shift in angle. Contour are very similar in its nature with ellipses. as a result, the same theory that's should be apply to ellipses should also apply to contour as well. That, of course, includes Degree shift. Your contours are very similar in angle. as a result, It felt flat and makes viewers have a hard time relating to its 3dness.
(Additional notes) Take this with a grain of salt, this is entirely my own opinion
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I think it would be great if you could fit larger organic forms in there too. And it might be wise to also increase the number of organic form you drew on a page too.
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Once you've dealt with problem that I've mentioned above, you should try and experiments with your organic forms contour a bit too! Just like in this image.
Texture and Detail
Texture analysis.
This exercise mainly look great! I can clearly see your attempt to draw shadow shapes instead of lines and there's no random scribbling too. (A little side notes, It would be great If you could write texture name on it too.)
Though I might be misinterpreting it, I saw a little bit of lines instead of shapes in your exercise instead of shadow shapes. I'll be providing this link just in case. But if you've made conscious effort toward doing that (and those cracks are really really small.) then pay this no mind.
Another cherry to pick is You forgot to transition from dense to sparse in the beginning. In this picture you can clearly see the Seamless transition from dense to sparse in the third picture. Don't forget to do that also!
Dissections
Your dissections is nicely done. Just two tiny tidbits from me is that you should mind the curvatures of the forms. I've saw you did this for some and ignored for others Mistake page. And You shouldn't be afraid of breaking the silhouette I've saw this on your second page so I suppose mentioning it'll be of help. Like in this example.
(Additional note)
It might actually be a good idea to do seamless transition just like in texture analysis too. Going from dense on the edge to sparse in the middle.
Construction.
Form intersection
Let's start with our first main point, stick to equilateral form. Some of your forms are larger, smaller or have sizes that are quite different from their neighboring form, which might've distracted you from the core of the exercise.
My second point is that, you seem to have left out quite a bit of intersections and some of your intersections you've drawn seems a bit odd in places. Here's a little draw-over I've done for you. As long as you mainly deal with these 2 problem, you'll be fine.
Organic intersections
Lastly, Organic intersections. Firstly, I believe you should attempt to draw bigger on a page. Not only will this give you more room to operate, It'll also give the person who's reviewing your work a better view of any mistake you've done.
Secondly, Your shadow seems to be sticking to the form a bit and they seem erratic and chicken scratchy at time. It might be a good idea to check This image out.
Thirdly, Don't forget to draw the center line of those new sausages form you've piled up on top of one another too! In the video, Uncomfortable draw those lines out too. If you haven't check the video here's the link. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/9/video
Other than those 3 point, I believe you've done quite ok for this exercise.
Next Steps:
I would like you to do an additional revision a bit. required
- 1 page of organic form (please include both ellipses and contour into 1 page.)
Optional
It would be great if you could provide these too. However, these are NOT required. You could simply ignore these, but I simply want to make sure you understood the content properly.
- 1 page of form intersection
Good luck on your revision!