Hey Draw a Box Community!
I hope you're keeping well.
This is my submission for Lesson 2 homework. This lesson took much time and effort but the knowledge I have received from doing so is definitely worth it.
Any feedback or advice would be greatly appreciated and thank you for taking the time to look at my work, it means a lot.
Stay well
Greetings! This is Doctormein and I'll be critiquing your homework for today.
Thinking in 3d
- Organic Arrows.
Your organic arrows flows smoothly through the three-dimensional space with no sign of hesitation at all. Well done. However, there's a little tidbits I would like to critique on. Firstly, you could attempt to be less conservative about foreshortening on your second page. I doubt this is really a, "bad," thing, but bear in mind that arrows are a flat 2d shapes. In order to bring its depths out, you should try to make it as clear as possible that it's moving toward or away from you. (Just like your first page!) Mistake page of this exercise.
Secondly, don't be afraid to reinforces your overlaps with lightweight. Pardon me If I was mistaken, but in many of your arrows, I rarely see you apply overlaps to them. Just like I've mentioned above, I believe this is not that big of a deal, but you should attempt to do it regardless. Don't be afraid to make mistake. All of these exercises are just exercises and does not reflect your value as a person, after all. A little overlaps attempt will do!
- Organic forms ellipses/contours
Ellipses section
Your organic forms are mostly well-drawn, keeping them simple will certainly helps out a lot while doing this exercise. Though I've said that, some of your sausages are odd in certain places, so I'll provide this link just in case.
What I believe needs working the most is your ellipses and contours, that I'll go deeper in a few moment.
To start us off, your ellipses, though confidently drawn and retain its proper shape, are very similar in angle. Consequently, makes viewers have a harder time to buy in the illusion of its being 3d. This is an example made by Uncomfortable himself. Notice how it feels more dynamic and more "3d". Here's another example you might want to pay attention to. This is one and only point I highly recommend you to attempt to fix for the organic form ellipses section.
Contour section
As I've previously mentioned, this exercise also experienced difficulty from the same problem as the last one, Shift in angle. Contour are very similar in its nature with ellipses. as a result, the same theory that's should be apply to ellipses should also apply to contour as well. That, of course, includes Degree shift. Your contours are very similar in angle. as a result, It felt flat and makes viewers have a hard time relating to its 3dness.
(Additional notes) Take this with a grain of salt, this is entirely my own opinion
I think it would be great if you could fit larger organic forms in there too. And it might be wise to also increase the number of organic form you drew on a page too.
Once you've dealt with problem that I've mentioned above, you should try and experiments with your organic forms contour a bit too! Just like in this image.
Texture and Detail
Texture analysis.
This exercise mainly look great! I can clearly see your attempt to draw shadow shapes instead of lines and there's no random scribbling too. (A little side notes, It would be great If you could write texture name on it too.)
Though I might be misinterpreting it, I saw a little bit of lines instead of shapes in your exercise instead of shadow shapes. I'll be providing this link just in case. But if you've made conscious effort toward doing that (and those cracks are really really small.) then pay this no mind.
Another cherry to pick is You forgot to transition from dense to sparse in the beginning. In this picture you can clearly see the Seamless transition from dense to sparse in the third picture. Don't forget to do that also!
Dissections
Your dissections is nicely done. Just two tiny tidbits from me is that you should mind the curvatures of the forms. I've saw you did this for some and ignored for others Mistake page. And You shouldn't be afraid of breaking the silhouette I've saw this on your second page so I suppose mentioning it'll be of help. Like in this example.
(Additional note)
It might actually be a good idea to do seamless transition just like in texture analysis too. Going from dense on the edge to sparse in the middle.
Construction.
Form intersection
Let's start with our first main point, stick to equilateral form. Some of your forms are larger, smaller or have sizes that are quite different from their neighboring form, which might've distracted you from the core of the exercise.
My second point is that, you seem to have left out quite a bit of intersections and some of your intersections you've drawn seems a bit odd in places. Here's a little draw-over I've done for you. As long as you mainly deal with these 2 problem, you'll be fine.
Organic intersections
Lastly, Organic intersections. Firstly, I believe you should attempt to draw bigger on a page. Not only will this give you more room to operate, It'll also give the person who's reviewing your work a better view of any mistake you've done.
Secondly, Your shadow seems to be sticking to the form a bit and they seem erratic and chicken scratchy at time. It might be a good idea to check This image out.
Thirdly, Don't forget to draw the center line of those new sausages form you've piled up on top of one another too! In the video, Uncomfortable draw those lines out too. If you haven't check the video here's the link. https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/9/video
Other than those 3 point, I believe you've done quite ok for this exercise.
Next Steps:
I would like you to do an additional revision a bit. required
Optional
It would be great if you could provide these too. However, these are NOT required. You could simply ignore these, but I simply want to make sure you understood the content properly.
Good luck on your revision!
Hey Doctormein!
I just wanted to say thank you for looking at my work, I appreciate the time and effort it takes to do these critiques.
I can see what you're saying regarding the arrows, I still struggle to move from what I understand as being 3D to actually making it look 3D on a page. I'll definitely keep what you said about foreshortening in mind.
I will do the revisions for the organic forms ASAP. I can see how the angles of the elipses are far too similar and don't demonstrate the form being 3D. Will give this another go.
I appreciate what you said about the textures. It's something I need to revise again to get my head around it fully, it's a different way of thinking about them, than what I am used to.
The intersections I really struggled with, I will definitely give this revision a try. I sat for hours trying to warp my head around how the forms would wrap or intersect one another, it's something I need to try and explore to understand better.
Thanks again for your feedback, I really appreciate it. I will send the revisions ASAP.
I am glad I could be of help!
Hey Doctormein!
I hope you're well. Here is the link to my revisions:
Thanks for looking.
The intersections are still really difficult for me and the organic forms too, I am going to keep practising these exercises in my warm ups. It takes effort for me to try and understand how the form is sitting in 3D space, I really have to visualise this when I do these exercises.
Thanks again for your help and feedback.
I am very happy that you've decided to do the optional homework I've assigned! This'll certainly help me to further understand your work as a whole. Now, let's get right to business.
Organic forms ellipses/curves
I can clearly see your attempt at adjusting what I've mentioned above so thank you! One thing I tend to see with your ellipses is that you're a little afraid of making them wider. I am not sure if this was right assumption to make since I have no idea what could be holding you back, but, if possible, It would be great if you could Widen your ellipses more because this'll help you out with conveying your illusion of 3dness.
This is a Demo I've done for a student in the past. You might want to give it a look!
Your curves seem to also be experiencing this issue a little bit too, but it's not as present as ellipses one. As always, the same principle that apply to ellipses also apply to curves too. (Check the image above for some example on the matter.)
Side notes : Don't forget, no matter how wrong a line is or how disproportionated a form may be, don't readjust or draw over it. Leave the line as it is as if it were correct. And also! It would be great too if you don't leave notes about your misstep in those drawing. It often serves as a distraction to a person who's critiquing you and we often ignore it to give us the ability to try our best to critique without any bias. Don't be so harsh on yourself, we all make mistake.
Form intersections
I can clearly see your effort toward making those form more equilateral, and you've also improved your intersection to be more believable also. There isn't much I would like to critique about this exercise because of how difficult it is, especially the intersection part. Overall, nicely done!
Next Steps:
Though there's some place I would like you to improve more, I believe that as long as you're putting what I've critiqued to use during your warm-up session you'll be right as rain. You might want to focus on Organic form contours/ellipses for a little bit because that's where I see you struggle quite a bit.
Godspeed, Leborian212
Next step : Lesson 3
Post critique notes : You might want to join Drawabox discord and check out #critique-exchange https://discord.gg/tHNrTs4REQ (If you haven't yet.) Because your critique for 250 Boxes is a little bit... lacking. This is just to ensure that you're receiving proper critique and instruction for next step. (I am also a part of critique exchange program too! )
The link you sent for the Organic forms helped so much, the eye level line helps this exercise make so much more sense. I will definitely keep doing these as a parts of my warm up, I'm still lacking security with these exercises- especially the Intersections, my brain hurts when I think about how the forms are sitting and intersecting.
In future I will also do my best to commit to the marks I have made, I still slip up and try to fix things, but I'll keep making the effort. I will also keep what you said about the missteps, I didn't realise it could make the critiques more difficult, thanks for letting me know.
Thanks again for all your effort in this feedback, it has been really helpful- especially the organic contours and elipses.
I'm on the Discord too! I will try and use it more effectively.
Thanks Doctormein, I'm grateful for your help and for the effort you put in!
Stay well!
Here we're getting into the subjective - Gerald Brom is one of my favourite artists (and a pretty fantastic novelist!). That said, if I recommended art books just for the beautiful images contained therein, my list of recommendations would be miles long.
The reason this book is close to my heart is because of its introduction, where Brom goes explains in detail just how he went from being an army brat to one of the most highly respected dark fantasy artists in the world today. I believe that one's work is flavoured by their life's experiences, and discovering the roots from which other artists hail can help give one perspective on their own beginnings, and perhaps their eventual destination as well.
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