6:46 PM, Tuesday November 15th 2022
Hey , i was writing a critique for your submission over the week , but i see Elodin has already done one.
The points are largely the same, but these were written slightly differently so i thought they might still be of use to you.
I think Elodin's critique is on point.
Hello Co-lord44! I'll do my best to critique your work.
- ORGANIC INTERSECTIONS
--"Starting with your organic intersections , I can see you've drawn these while paying attention to how they wrap around on top of each other , and made sure they felt like a solid structure that wouldn't fall over if we were to advance forward in time."
--(Elodin has noted how squishy some of your sausages were ,but i still think the second page went far better in that regard)--
A note about the shadows , i do quickly want to mention this point; this lesson is quite far from lesson 2, but it's very important in showing how these forms relate with each other.
Be sure to push the cast shadows just a little further , in simpler words ,also try to make a cast shadow follow the contour lines of any other sausages / ground under .
As shown here, i've gone over your work with a couple of examples ; your shadow shapes are good here as you can see , it's just a matter of them sticking to the sausages too much.
- ANIMAL CONSTRUCTIONS
Moving onto the main part , overall you're doing very good , although there's some things i feel i should point out before you move on.
The first and major point i want to mention is the legs , more specifically their shape.
In drawabox specifically , it's best to use sausages as your base shape, and then add additional masses later on in a constructive manner, in order to end up with your end result as shown here, in another student's work.
Try to make said sausages curve ever so slightly, as it makes it easier to draw and more flowy
-- (you can see this best in Elodin's first point in their Notes) --
I wanted to mention a point about texture, as you seemed to be using it far too much in this fox, but it seems you may have realized that on your own , as your later constructions seem to be improving in that regard.
--you were going to be asked revisions here , which were also gonna be 2 as Elodin said, i was going to add an organic intersection page too , but since it's a page that you can practice in warmups , and you've already shown improvement on your second page, i think you would be fine without it--
As said , i suggest following Elodin's critique , I hope this helps either way, and good luck!
You can definetly do it ,keep it up.
Next Steps:
Same as Elodin
- 2 Pages of animal constructions