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6:40 PM, Friday August 5th 2022

I'll be the TA handling your Lesson 2 critique.

You're making progress towards understanding the concepts introduced in this lesson and hopefully this critique will help you in your future attempts.

  • Starting off with the arrows section you want to be making sure you're drawing confidently to keep your arrows as smooth as possible, accuracy will come with mileage. There are spots where your arrows bulge/narrow suddenly, this is an issue because it gives the impression that your arrows are stretching which hurts their solidity. Remember that as our arrows move closer to the viewer we want them to widen consistently. It's good to see that you're trying to implement line weight, just remember that you want to keep your applications subtle and you'll become consistent with mileage. here are some things to look out for when applying it. I'd like you to experiment more with foreshortening in your future attempts, by utilizing it in both the arrows themselves as well as the negative space between their curves we can create a stronger illusion of an object moving through 3D space as demonstrated here.

  • Moving into the organic forms with contours exercise your forms are getting a bit too complex. We want to create our forms with both ends being the same size and to avoid any pinching, bloating, or stretching along the form's length as discussed here. I get the impression you may not be ghosting all of your lines here and that you may not be rotating your page to work at comfortable angles. Remember that for every mark we want to make we should rotate the page to approach it from a comfortable angle, ghost our intended line a few times and then lower our pen creating the mark confidently. I'd like you to try and shift the degree of your contours more. The degree of a contour line basically represents the orientation of that cross-section in space, relative to the viewer, and as we slide along the sausage form, the cross section is either going to open up (allowing us to see more of it) or turn away from the viewer (allowing us to see less), as shown here.

  • In the texture exercises you're focusing largely on outlines and negative space rather than cast shadows created by forms along the texture itself. This makes it difficult to create gradients with implied information which we could then use to create focal points in more complex pieces, by doing so we can prevent our viewers from being visually overwhelmed with too much detail. You also show that you're drawing from memory rather than giving yourself enough time to focus on your reference. Most of our time when doing exercises like this will be spent observing our reference and looking away for a quick second to add something to our page. For more on the importance of focusing on cast shadows read here. I'd also like to quickly direct you to this image which shows that when we're working with thin line like textures if we outline and fill the shadow we will create a much more dynamic texture than simply drawing lines.

  • It's quite common for people to feel like they don't fully grasp the form intersections exercise, if you feel like you may fall into this category try not to stress too much. This exercise is just meant to get students to start thinking about how their forms relate to one another in 3D space, and how to define those relationships on the page. We'll be going over them more in the upcoming lessons. I think in this exercise you may get a bit too wrapped up in worrying about the new concepts at hand that you neglect some of the older ones, at times your boxes end up diverging and your lines don't feel as confident/planned as they could. It's not uncommon for this to happen, it's a lot to take in of course but try your best to remember that any new concept is built on older ones and they're just as/if not more important at times.

  • While wrapping up your submission with the organic intersections exercise you do a great job demonstrating that your sense of 3D space is developing as your forms begin to wrap around each other believably. You're keeping your forms simple and easy to work with which is a good strategy to help produce good results. Your shadows are often hugging the form creating them rather than being cast on to another surface believably. Your shadows appear to be following a consistent light source, be sure to experiment with different angles and intensities when trying this exercise again in the future. I recommend pushing your light source to the top left or right corner of the page to start with, it's easier than working with a light directly above your form pile.

I won't be moving you on to the next lesson just yet, each lesson builds upon each other and I'd like to make sure you understand a few of these concepts a bit more before potentially creating more problems down the road.

With that being said I'd like you to please re-read and complete:

  • 2 pages of organic forms with contours

  • 1 page of form intersections

Once you've completed the pages mentioned above reply to this critique with a link to them, I'll go over them and address anything that needs to be worked on and once you've shown you're ready for the next lesson I'll move you on.

I look forward to seeing your work.

Next Steps:

  • 2 pages of organic forms with contours

  • 1 page of form intersections

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
5:00 PM, Thursday August 11th 2022

Hi I did the re-read and redid the exercises you requested. They are in the enclosed link

https://imgur.com/a/9RTa07k

Mark

5:57 PM, Friday August 12th 2022
edited at 5:57 PM, Aug 12th 2022

Hey there.

These do feel a bit hastily completed when compared to the forms in your organic intersections exercise but there are improvements in your understanding of the concepts that I went over in your critique.

I think as long as you take your time and continue to practice these exercises in your warm ups you'll continue to see improvement so I'll be marking your submission complete.

Keep practicing previous exercises as warm ups and best of luck in lesson 3.

Next Steps:

Move on to lesson 3.

This critique marks this lesson as complete.
edited at 5:57 PM, Aug 12th 2022
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I would not recommend this for Drawabox - we use brush pens for filling in shadow shapes, and you do not need a pen this fancy for that. If you do purchase it, save it for drawing outside of the course.

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