6:30 PM, Friday October 1st 2021
Alrighty, so Tofu's passed this one onto me. While there is definitely considerable improvement between now and your first submission for Lesson 1, there are still a number of issues present in the work you've submitted that show that you're not fully grasping the instructions, or how the marks you're putting down on the flat page relate to what you're actually creating in three dimensions. While Tofu is quite adept at handling the majority of these Lesson 2 submissions, there are inevitably some circumstances where I need to have a more direct hand in talking a student through their work. We'll go through each of these exercises one by one.
Organic Forms with Contour Curves
With this one, there are three main issues I'm noticing:
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You're straying quite far from the characteristics of simple sausages. Along the right side of this page you're doing a decent job, although some of the ends get a little more stretched out rather than remaining entirely circular. The left side however has one end of each of these three sausages dramatically larger than the other. What we're looking for are sausage forms that feature two circular ends of equal size, connected by a tube that maintains a consistent width. This is not inherently easy to achieve, so we're not expecting you to nail that perfectly just yet, but there's a noticeable difference between when a student aims to draw sausages with those characteristics, and when they're not really intending to adhere to them at all. I'd say that on this page, the left side shows a lack of intent/awareness of this goal, while the right side shows a more conscious effort to adhere to those characteristics. While we are not in complete control of how successfully we draw what we intend to, we can control what it is we're striving to achieve in the first place. That is entirely a matter of being conscious of what we're doing, and making clear choices.
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The only difference between a contour curve and a contour ellipse in this context is whether or not we can see through the form in question, to where the contour curve continues along the opposite side. So, for this reason, you are definitely correct that even when doing contour curves, we will end up with full ellipses when the end of a given sausage points towards the viewer. Unfortunately the issue here is that you have pretty consistently placed your contour ellipses on the ends that face away from the viewer (based on what the other contour curves are conveying to the viewer). Whether an end is going to have a full ellipse or not is entirely based on how it's oriented in space. Here you can see three different possible configurations - one where both ends turn to face the viewer (so we see an ellipse on either tip of the same sausage), one where neither end faces the viewer (so there are no full contour ellipses on either end), and lastly a sausage where one end faces the viewer and the other does not (so there's an ellipse on only one end). As you look through these, pay attention to the contour curves themselves, and how they also show the viewer how the form is oriented in space. The issue present in your work here is that the contour curves and contour ellipses contradict each other, rather than reinforcing one another.
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Lastly, as you draw your contour curves, you are maintaining roughly the same degree for each curve along the full length of a given sausage. As explained here in the Lesson 1 ellipses video, those cross-sections are going to get wider as we slide away from the viewer along a cylindrical structure. That video demonstrates how this occurs using some props, so be sure to give it a watch - it was updated in the spring, so it's likely you didn't catch the newer version of the video that goes over this concept more clearly.
Texture
While there are a few things here that I will address and attempt to clarify for you, I'm not worried about your work throughout the texture section, so you will not be assigned any additional revisions for these two exercises. Texture is a very tricky concept to grasp, and this section is just meant to be an introduction, planting a seed that will continue to be developed as we move forwards, so it is very normal for students to struggle with this area.
The thing about texture is that it is composed of a bunch of smaller forms that sit along the surface of a larger object. In this sense, it's actually not that different from what we're doing through the other exercises - we're conveying 3D information, and the relationships between forms. It just so happens that these forms are very small and often densely packed, and attempting to capture them as we would something larger and more sparse (where we'd use explicit markmaking like outlining the forms) would just result in something way too cluttered and visually noisy.
So instead, we employ implicit markmaking techniques, focusing on capturing the shadows those textural forms cast on their surroundings - never actually drawing the forms themselves, but rather drawing the effect they have on the things around them. Based on your work, this is something you're starting to grasp, to a point - but there's one key thing I feel I can clarify to help you continue to improve in this regard.
What we're doing here is not as simple as drawing the cast shadows we see in our references. We are not looking for shadows in the reference image, so we can copy them over. Instead, we're looking to understand the nature of the 3D forms that are present there, to understand how different forms relate to one another in space - like how one fish scale has a bit of thickness to it, and how it rests upon others. By looking at our reference, we can use the visual information there - which includes but is not limited to cast shadows - and we can work to understand how the different forms work together to create this impression of bumpiness, of roughness, or of whatever other textural quality is present there.
Using that information of the spatial relationships between these small textural forms, we can create our own cast shadow shapes. In many cases they may well match up with the cast shadows that are present in our references, but we're creating them based on what we've understood - not just what we see.
One thing that I find helps a great deal is to purposely make any textural marks using a two step process - first outlining and designing your intended shadow shape with your pen, then filling it in. This can force us to think more about how the cast shadow relates to the form casting it, rather than simply trying to copy the shadows we see without thinking about what is producing them.
Additionally, one thing I want you to go back and review is this diagram from the texture analysis page, specifically the section at the very bottom. As we move into the right side of the gradient, where the linework gets more sparse and the cast shadows get blasted away, note how the shadows that remain are those that actually occur within the cracks between forms. In your fish scale texture, you're currently focusing on the more exposed areas, where the shadows would actually disappear sooner. Remember that implicit markmaking isn't about drawing the form itself - it's about capturing the relationships between forms, and so you kind of have to think a little backwards about what it is you're actually representing with your marks.
Now, I will admit that the texture section of this lesson is due for an update, and it will receive one as I work through overhauling the lesson material. I started overhauling the lesson 1 stuff back in the spring, but unfortunately my apartment flooded and I was forced to put my equipment in storage until it was resolved, effectively pausing the efforts to update the lesson material. Drawabox itself is continually being improved and clarified, but this unfortunately results in some discrepancies between sections that have been updated more recently, and those that haven't - for example, the texture analysis material was updated far more recently than the dissections. That's why there is something of a contradiction between the demos for those two exercises.
Fortunately now that all my personal tragedies are sorted, I'm able to get back onto overhauling the video demos and lesson material - but for now, when it comes to texture, the concepts and explanations I've shared in the texture analysis material should be applied to the dissections as well. And similarly, anything I explain in a critique trumps what may have been shown in older lesson material (and eventually the material from the critique will make its way into the lesson). Obviously it's not ideal, but it's more or less how Drawabox has developed over the years, allowing me to continually improve and refine how I explain concepts, while still having something of value to offer to students to help them move forwards.
Form Intersections
Moving onto the form intersections, there are a few important issues I'm noticing here:
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Firstly, you don't appear to be drawing through any of your ellipses. Remember that as discussed back in Lesson 1, every ellipse you freehand throughout this course must be drawn through two full times around the elliptical shape before lifting your pen. This will help you execute them more confidently, while maintaining an even shape to them and avoiding rigidity/stiffness. Also, be sure to employ the ghosting method for each of these, and execute them from the shoulder using your whole arm (in case you aren't doing so as consistently for the ellipses as you are for your other marks).
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Secondly, remember that as explained here you need to be sticking to forms that are roughly the same size in all three dimensions. Looks like you've got a number of longer cylinders.
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Thirdly, when it comes to the intersections themselves, it seems that what you're doing here is entirely different from what is assigned or shown in the demonstration. From what I can see, you're filling in the overlap between the forms in 2D space with hatching (which is admittedly rather sloppy and rushed - every single mark you draw within this course should be done with care). Additionally, you appear to be going back over the area of each form's linework in the area of that overlap with additional line weight. While this isn't all that common, it is something I've seen from students here and there and it usually occurs when a student is confused by what they're supposed to be doing, so instead of making an attempt at that, they opt to do something entirely different. Now, keep in mind that I don't need you to actually do this part of the exercise correctly - just to make the attempt. It may help to think of the intersection line as being just another contour line - that is, a line that runs along the surface of a form. The only difference is that this contour line is special, in that it runs along the surface of two forms simultaneously, and actually defines the way in which those two forms relate to one another in 3D space. Another way to think about it is as though the two forms are made of metal, and that they've been merged together - the intersection contour line is the "weld" line that would fuse the two forms together. It does not follow any of the existing lines along either of your forms' silhouettes - it's its own separate line that is drawn within that overlap.
Organic Intersections
A lot of the issues that come up here have been addressed already - ensuring that your contour curves and contour ellipses avoid contradicting one another, drawing through your ellipses, having contour lines' degrees shift along the length of a given sausage, and sticking to the characteristics of simple sausages.
Aside from that, all I want to push you towards is trying not to make this exercise too complicated, and thinking through it one step at a time. Right now what I'm seeing is that you're getting kind of overwhelmed, and it's causing you to panic and draw without thinking everything through. Instead, you can think of this exercise as just being a matter of building up a nice little pile of sausages, or filled water balloons.
To start, you've got an empty surface - the ground. You can even draw an actual flat plane on the page if you want, but it's not necessary. Just remember that these aren't floating in a void, but rather resting upon an actual surface.
Next, you drop your first sausage on that surface. Keep it simple - no needless pinching or widening, and keep those ends equal in size and as circular as you can manage. Once that sausage form is complete, you drop another onto the pile - imagine that you are actually physically dropping it and watching it settle onto the top of the pile. Do not try to add sausages underneath the pile - this would alter the way in which all the others are sitting, because they'd have to respond to this sudden new structure beneath them, but given that they're drawn in ink, no such adjustments can be reasonably made. Always add to the top.
As you draw the silhouette of this next sausage, think about how it's actually resting on the pile - how is it going to slump and sag according to gravity? No need to overcomplicate it with wavy lines, and remember that we're dealing with something like a solid sausage or a filled water balloon, where it can bend but it won't behave like putty. Always think about how gravity is pressing down on the form.
Then add another, and another, and another. For each one, draw it in its entirety - don't cut them off where they get overlapped by another form. Furthermore, don't add line weight or cast shadows until the very end, and remember that once you start adding cast shadows, all your shadows need to be consistent with one another, suggesting that they're being cast from the same light source. And of course, once you have one form casting a shadow, all forms must cast shadows, based on their relationship with that singular light source.
There's a lot to take in here, and it's not surprising that one can get overwhelmed - so I'll try to summarize it in point form here:
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Start with a flat, empty ground plane.
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Place sausages one by one - drawing each one in its entirety - and only ever working from the bottom up, not sneaking one underneath later on. Treat it like a physical, three dimensional pile.
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Think about how gravity will cause the form as a whole to bend - but don't treat the sausages like putty. They will retain their shape.
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Once you get to adding cast shadows (when all the forms are down), be consistent. Maintain a singular light source, and make sure you're thinking about how each form will cast a shadow from that light source.
For what it's worth, I can see that you're drawing a little sun in the upper right corner of your page, which suggests that you want your light to be coming from there. You do however have plenty of forms that appear to be casting shadows towards the right, which would be inconsistent with that light source.
Unfortunately, I will need to assign some further revisions. Please submit:
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1 page of organic forms with contour curves
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1 page of form intersections
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1 page of organic intersections
The feedback I've given you here is extremely dense - so expect to have to go through it several times, and make sure that you go over the feedback for a given exercise again immediately before attempting it (along with reviewing the original instructions/demos as well). You are definitely capable of completing these well, but I think the bigger issue is that you have a tendency to forget certain concepts and principles. That simply means you'll need to work harder to keep those instructions fresh in your mind as you work, avoiding having longer spans of time between reading feedback/instructions and applying them.