2 users agree
2:20 AM, Tuesday April 4th 2023
edited at 2:27 AM, Apr 4th 2023

Hello, I'll be critiquing your lesson 2 work

Organic Arrows

-To start with, your organic arrow linework is looking pretty confident in some areas, and I like how your arrows compress as they move away from the viewer. Something I would like you to try is experimenting more with the orientation of your arrows. Right now, the zig-zagging sections of your arrows don't seem to overlap much at all. Doing this prevents you from adding much lineweight to your drawings, which is an important concept to learn. Here are two examples: https://imgur.com/a/43EfOw9

https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/011d064f.jpg

In regards to lineweight, I notice that you added it in areas where it was not necessary. This goes along with the fact that there are not many overlapping areas for you to put lineweight in to begin with. Lineweight should also be added as one, confidently superimposed line.

Organic Forms with Contours

The shapes of your sausages seem to be turning out well, as you kept consistency with the width of the form throughout. I see that you are paying attention to how the ellipses change in degree as they move throughout space. I noticed that you did not draw through some of your ellipses 2-3 times and that some of your linework does not seem very confident. These are things that you will need to practice doing in your warm-ups.

For the forms with contour curves, you did nicely with keeping everything aligned to the axis. Something you should try is adding more obvious degree shifts to the contours. In some areas, they are turning out static, but this can improve with more practice.

Textures

Your work on the texture analysis is turning out great. You did nicely with using bold ink for cast shadows, and you achieved a good transition from the zones with high density of detail to the areas with more sparsity.

Dissections are similar with the good transitions and the bold ink for cast shadows. I don't feel like I have any critiques for this section, except for the few areas that seem to have simple lines for the shadows. Try to draw the shape of the shadow and then fill it in. Otherwise, this all looks good.

Form Intersections

Form intersections are a pretty difficult concept so don't worry if you don't fully grasp it yet. I have a few things to call out about this section. Some of your lineweight looks like it was drawn more than once, instead you should add one superimposed line over the original. I also notice that some of your shapes are bigger than they are supposed to be. To make the drawings more believable, they should look like they all fit in the same setting, which means they should be somewhat consistent in size.

Line weight example: https://imgur.com/OHvr7Mb

Organic Intersections

Your sausage shapes are turning out more believable in this excercise. To improve them, you can try and make them more consistent in size and not too complex. Im sure with more practice, these will improve.

One more thing—I feel that you should give yourself some more room to draw these shapes. They will turn out a lot better if you use up a good amount of space for them.

Alrighty, I feel like you would benefit from some extra practice on your organic arrows. I will assign this for you below

Next Steps:

1 more page of organic arrows

  • try and compress your arrows more and add lineweight to those overlapping areas

  • shorten the length of the flowing lines--Drawing longer lines can cause you to lose control of them

If you have any questions you can ask me or look back to the lesson demo & drawn examples

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 2:27 AM, Apr 4th 2023
10:51 PM, Thursday April 13th 2023
edited at 12:49 AM, Apr 14th 2023

THANK YOU SO MUCH! I’ve been waiting for a response for weeks. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to upload anything to Imgur without an account now for some reason. So, I can’t show you what I’ve done so far, but I’m having the hardest time making my zig-zagging sections overlap. Any more tips you can give me to help?

Edit: I got over myself and made an account. Should’ve done this before, to be honest. Here’s the link.

https://imgur.com/a/32XBq2f

edited at 12:49 AM, Apr 14th 2023
1:16 AM, Monday April 24th 2023

Hey there, sorry for the late response!

I took a look at your arrows and I can tell that you are trying to apply the tips that I gave you so far. I drew an example of a different way you could try to approach your arrows here:https://imgur.com/a/2gF3KNr

In the second step, I added straight lines going down for the sides of the arrow. I noticed that the sides of your arrows are tilting outwards, which can prevent the zig-zagging sections from overlapping. If you try and draw the sides first, they can serve as a guide for the next line you must draw, like in the third step. It may be hard to accurately place the line in the third step, but for now, try and use the ghosting method with confidence.

I will go ahead and assign one more page of the organic arrows so you can get extra practice in. After I let you move onto lesson 3, this is something you can practice during warm-ups.

Next Steps:

Another page of organic arrows -- Take as much time as you need and if you have any more questions, I'm more than happy to help

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
7:23 PM, Monday April 24th 2023

No problem. I waited over a month for an initial response, so ten days is nothing lol. Ah, I see now! I hadn't thought about it before, but drawing the sides straight down makes a lot of sense as a guide. Thanks for that. Alright, I'll try it again

7:03 PM, Monday May 1st 2023

https://imgur.com/a/r1YnKFQ

FINALLY back with this. Would’ve happened sooner, but Imgur was fighting me NOT to post this for some reason a day or two ago

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These are what I use when doing these exercises. They usually run somewhere in the middle of the price/quality range, and are often sold in sets of different line weights - remember that for the Drawabox lessons, we only really use the 0.5s, so try and find sets that sell only one size.

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