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4:13 PM, Sunday May 3rd 2020

Alright buddy!

Starting with your arrows, I feel that there are some things you can improve there:

1.- Bending. There are some places where you could bent the arrows more. The benefit of doing so is that it helps to convey the illusion of 3d, since it avoids the ribbon looking flat.

2.- Ribbon size. For using the foreshortening right, one tool you can employ is the size. You can make the nearest end bigger, and the farther smaller, shrinking it little by little. You used this tool indeed, but I encourage you to try to push it a little more.

3.- Spacing. That's making the farther end all together, while making the nearest end more together (as explained here: https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/4/step2). This is applying perspective too.

So, in conclusion, I think you did a good job, but there are, in fact, some things you can improve. Just remember to use the right things to convey the illusion of 3d, since these ribbons are flat things traveling throught space.

Now, before anything, I encourage you to draw bigger. You could draw like...just six organic forms in one page, and it would have been alright. Although you express a great deal of control when you do it small, there's a lot of benefit in doing it big, since you can apply better all the things requested. Believe me, I used to draw the things small, but doing them big is better.

There are some forms where you strayed from the forms requested (give these notes a read: https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/5/simplesausage). Drawing them distorted can be a big hindrance for your constructions in the future; keeping them simple also helps to maintain solidity, so keep that in mind.

Another important thing you missed is to remark your ellipses twice. Remember to always do that, in every exercise with the least presence of ellipses in every drawabox lessons. Look at this notes again: https://drawabox.com/lesson/1/11/drawingthrough. As a result, your ellipses do not look confident.

Regarding the degree, I do feel that it overall is ok, although if I am completely honest I am not good with ellipses degree.

Same with the ones with contour lines. They are good, though there are some places where you could draw them more round.

In the future, try to always strive for less contour lines. With this I mean: try to always draw them better. So is quality over quantity. If you could draw just three of them in one sausage, but that convey completely the illusion of 3d, then that's way better than six sloppy ones.

But I think that overall the biggest issue were your sausages.

I am glad to say that you made it very good in the texture analysis. You overall tried to look for the cast shadows, and that's great! Try to find more cast shadows in the future.

Same with the dissections, they overall are very good! You could apply the texture to the subject -the sausage- which shows that you understand 3d! 

For being your first time, your organic intersections are pretty good! It's clear that you could grasp the understating of 3d space. 

Although there are some forms where you drew the forms kinda distorted (mostly ellipses and pyramids). For pyramids, try to draw an square, and do not distord that square. Then, when drawing the middle line that's gonna form it, try to achieve a 90° angle, more or less.

And for the ellipses, you must practice. Do ellipses exercises for warmups, always remembering that you have to draw them with confidence,, remarking two times.

And finally, with the organic intersections, I see that there are less distorted sausages (great!), and that you did it well when drwing them. Again, there's 3d understanding there, since you could drop them in top of each other thinking on the surface bellow. 

So, in general, I think you are good enough to go to the next lesson, but I greatly encourage you to continue practicing your sausages, ellipses and confidence when executing strokes overall.

Next Steps:

Go to lesson 3! For the texture challenge, it's greatly recommended that you do it little by little in the go. For example, you can do 5 after finishing each lesson

This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
4:08 AM, Friday May 8th 2020

wow nice review. Thanks mate. Will be trying to make the changes.

9:36 PM, Monday May 11th 2020

i am glad i could help!

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