1 users agree
7:40 PM, Thursday April 11th 2024

Hi Carror, Congratulations on finishing lesson 2. I'll be giving you feedback, pointing out mistakes you've made as well as things you did good.

Organic arrows

  • Your arrows look very expressive. There is good perspective going on. The arrows clearly get smaller toward the back and the folds get closer to each other. I also like how the arrows overlap/take in the same space.

  • You make good use of increased lineweight but it looks like you do chicken scratching to achieve this. See this example. When adding lineweight use the ghosting technique and place a single confident line.

  • The shadows make a nice gradient from dark to light but the lines look rushed. Here again use the ghosting method and take your time.

Organic intersections

  • The sausage shapes have a constant form and are drawn confidently. The ellipses are also drawn properly going through each twice.

  • There is some variation in the degree of your ellipses but you can definitely exaggerate this some more. This is especially true for the contours. When drawing the contours imagine the ellipse it's supposed to be. Use the ghosting method as if you are drawing an ellipse as well but only put you pen on the paper for the front section of the ellipse.

Texture analysis

  • There is a nice transition from light to dark. You also blend the black bar on the left an white bar on the right into the texture properly.

  • There are still some lines going on at the darker side of the textures whereas they should be shapes like this.

Dissections

  • The textures wrap around the shapes nicely. The textures also get darker towards the edges.

  • You occasionally draw contours like on the turtle shell, lizard scale and lemon.

Form intersections

  • The linework looks confident. The spheres look fairly round which is pretty hard to get right the first time.

  • Perspective/foreshortening is also pretty consistent across the pages. Making it look like the shapes exist in the same space.

  • Two of the pyramids have incorrect perspective with the back being larger than the front.

Organic intersections

  • Both pages look like solid piles of shapes stacked on top of each other. The only inconsistency is the two shapes at the bottom on the first page that lean against the big one at an angle. If this is an actual mass they would probably fall down. They should be drawn more perpendicular to the big shape so they can actually lean on it or flat on the ground.

  • The shadows wrap around the round shapes nicely.

Overall very good work. You are ready for lesson 3. As advice moving forward I'd say take your time for things like lineweight/hatching, don't let them be an afterthought and you'll be fine.

Next Steps:

  • Continue to lesson 3
This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
5:23 PM, Friday April 12th 2024

THANK YOU VERY MUCH for this awesome and thorough feedback! Ill be sure to take it into account for next lessons.

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