10:24 AM, Tuesday September 28th 2021
Hi! i'll be the one critiquing you for today
now i checked onto your submissions and it seemed like you haven't gotten a critique yet onto your 250 box-challenge, now going to the community route is free but you aren't expected to get a critique but it would still be best if you try to wait for a critique before moving on to another lesson since you would miss out on some points and you wouldn't really benefit much if you work on a cave/ hole, so to get a critique faster you can go ahead and join discord here https://discord.com/invite/FtSS4hhqSu and check out the channel called #critique-exchange so that me and other helpful community members could offer insight to either your critique or your work
starting off with your arrows you did great establishing the flow of your arrows as well as overlapping them but the other arrows feel a bit confusing as you either shaded the wrong part or you didn't apply line-weight to determine which is in front or at the back, more on that here https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/4/step4. i also noticed that there are times where your arrows pinch or swell arbitrarily, and that's a completely normal mistake that most students do so you'll be consistent at it when you've gained mileage doing it on your warm-ups, but the way you shaded/ hatched lines onto your arrows, i need to point that out, since it felt as if they were rushed or done sloppily and they feel like they're floating or not resting in the curves of your arrows and unevenly spaced, think of it as extra mileage when doing hatching lines and please don't rush them.
now onto your sausages you actually kept the degree change for the ellipses/ contour lines which is good, since it'll greatly benefit you on l3 and above but here are some issues:
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you aren't keeping your sausages simple - as far as i see you're sausages are way too complex as some are pinching or swelling, one way to avoid this mistake is by ghosting your sausage before establishing your flow line but it's up to you whether or not you ghost it or not, although i get that it is your first time so i'd like you to keep this in mind on your warm-ups
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you've only sticked on to one orientation: believe it or not there's more than 1 orientation of a sausage and this image here would show you the 2 other orientations for it, i get that this wasn't shown in this page but i'd love if you also try this onto your warm-ups
now onto your textures it's a bit hard to tell whether or not you're focusing too much on outline or cast shadow since you didn't provide any references but i'll try my best to give a critique for it.
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starting off with your texture analysis, you seem to leave some white spots/ white negative spaces in some of your texture, it might be because you're working only with your pen and you don't have a marker/ brush pen with you but try your best to fill it in with your pure black and no spots showing in your work. on the first texture's third panel the transition from dense to sparse is a bit hard to tell, on your second texture's third panel the transition from dense to sparse is well done but you can still do much more, on the third panel it got a bit better but you could make the left side much more denser since the black bar is still somewhat visible, anyways the work that you did was a great attempt, there's still more that you can do but that's what you can do for now. you can also start the 25 texture challenge right now but please don't complete it in one go, the challenge encourages us to do it while we do the course.
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i don't see your dissections anywhere could you have perhaps not done it?(if so please do it even if it's very tedious :| but it's something that would actually be beneficial to you as it would challenge your patience.) or did you forget to put it in your imgur link if so please reply me the imgur link of your dissections exercise
now onto your form intersections
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you are missing 1 page of boxes-only in your intersections so please submit that also
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onto your 2nd- 4th pages, it's totally normal if you don't get it at first so if you still don't understand how to intersect forms don't beat yourself too hard, i would direct you to this resource here made by a active community member named optimus here: https://m.imgur.com/a/6Inx5Bz as it's very useful, you can also use any 3d software like blender or 3d paint so that you have an idea on how forms intersect, but on the fourth page it seems that you are slowly getting it.
lastly onto your organic intersections
- on your first page it looks like your sausages are just floating and not resting on top of the forms, but on your 2nd page you've done a much better job but it seems like your cast shadow is a bit contradicting to your forms, it might be because you applied the cast shadow first before the forms which made it tricky.
anyways this was a solid submission, there's still room for improvement but i won't be letting you go yet, please submit 1 page of boxes-only intersection and 2 pages of the dissections exercise.
Next Steps:
1 page of boxes-only form intersection
2 pages of the dissections exercise