9:05 PM, Monday May 23rd 2022
Jumping right in with your organic intersections, there's definitely progress here, although there are two things to keep in mind:
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Firstly, the way in which you're drawing each subsequent sausage form is coming along decently, although try to consider each sausage more as a sort of three dimensional contour line - in terms of how dramatically they curve around the surface of the structures beneath them. The way you're drawing them now tends to feel somewhat flatter, due to the lessened emphasis on how they're actually curving around one another.
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Secondly, there's plenty of room for improvement in pushing how your shadows actually are cast upon, and thus wrap around, the surfaces beneath the forms casting them. Since the sausages are all curved, there will be lots of curving surfaces for the shadows to follow, pulling them farther away from the silhouette of the form casting them, rather than having those shadows cling closely.
I've added some quick notes to your first page of the exercise to demonstrate each of these points here.
Continuing onto your animal constructions, the first thing that jumped out at me early on was that you appeared to have, at least in some drawings, allowed yourself to modify and alter the forms you'd already put down - treating them as 2D elements rather than solid, three dimensional structures. This is something we discussed at length in my feedback for your Lesson 4 work. While this was back in December, it is of course your responsibility to ensure that you do whatever is necessary for you to be able to apply that feedback in your later lessons - ensuring that you reread that feedback before diving into your next lesson's work, and going back through it as needed to keep from forgetting.
I also noted there that you appeared to be trying to use the branches technique when constructing the flamingo's neck, although you were employing that technique incorrectly. You'll want to review the instructions here, which show how those segments must overlap in order to achieve a smoother, more seamless transition from one to the next.
I am already seeing a tendency both here and in your organic intersections, to not necessarily invest as much time as is needed into your ellipses. Be sure to draw through each one two full times before lifting your pen, draw them using your whole arm from your shoulder (even when they're small) and be sure to use the ghosting method (investing your time into the planning and preparation phases) as you would for each and every structural mark throughout this course.
Moving on, I am glad to see that you're making a clear effort to employ the additional masses we introduce in this lesson. I do have some recommendations on how you can push these farther, however, specifically in the particular design of each one's individual silhouette. It's that silhouette which holds all the cards in terms of establishing how the mass wraps around the existing structure.
One thing that helps with the shape here is to think about how the mass would behave when existing first in the void of empty space, on its own. It all comes down to the silhouette of the mass - here, with nothing else to touch it, our mass would exist like a soft ball of meat or clay, made up only of outward curves. A simple circle for a silhouette.
Then, as it presses against an existing structure, the silhouette starts to get more complex. It forms inward curves wherever it makes contact, responding directly to the forms that are present. The silhouette is never random, of course - always changing in response to clear, defined structure. You can see this demonstrated in this diagram.
Here's an example of this in action on one of your horses. Try to think of your masses' silhouettes as though they're made up of smaller pieces. It can be very tempting to just draw an arbitrary (often blobby) shape, especially when we think of a mass as a single entity. But instead, it's made up of distinct pieces - inward curves, outward curves, sharp corners, and smoother, more gradual transitions. But each one has its place, to help describe the way in which this mass is attaching to its existing structure.
Also, be sure not to give any one mass too many jobs. Sometimes you may simply be drawing a mass that is doing too much, filling too many roles - and it would be better for it to be broken up into several separate masses, each piling atop one another in 3D space.
The last thing I wanted to mention in regards to additional masses is that when you're dealing with your animals' legs, don't limit yourself to focusing only on the masses that impact the silhouette. Also consider the ones that fit in between them, as this is what will help make the overall structure feel more grounded, as shown here on another student's work.
On the topic of your animals' legs, I should note that despite mentioning this in your Lesson 4 critique, you appear to have continued not to apply the sausage method consistently when building up your animals' legs. I will certainly admit to the fact that since this course is continually evolving, and certain things can be updated more easily than others (like text vs video), many of the demos are old - and so, things like the intro video and others demonstrate leg construction in entirely different ways. This is something I'm working to address of course, as I'm overhauling all of the video content in the course from start to finish - but that is precisely why it is so important that you not leave my previous feedback to be forgotten. In essence, those submitting for official critique are given an additional avenue of receiving information that is intended to provide them with information ahead of time, before it can be fully structured and organized into newer versions of the lessons.
But of course, in order to benefit from that, you must do what you can to apply it.
To that point, the last major point I wanted to discuss is on the topic of head construction - another area that is demonstrated in several different ways across the lesson. Lesson 5 has a lot of different strategies for constructing heads, between the various demos. As I've explained above, as a result of the way in which the course has developed, and how I'm finding new, more effective ways for students to tackle certain problems. So not all the approaches shown are equal, but they do have their uses. As it stands, as explained at the top of the tiger demo page (here), the current approach that is the most generally useful, as well as the most meaningful in terms of these drawings all being exercises in spatial reasoning, is what you'll find here on the informal demos page.
There are a few key points to this approach:
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The specific shape of the eyesockets - the specific pentagonal shape allows for a nice wedge in which the muzzle can fit in between the sockets, as well as a flat edge across which we can lay the forehead area.
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This approach focuses heavily on everything fitting together - no arbitrary gaps or floating elements. This allows us to ensure all of the different pieces feel grounded against one another, like a three dimensional puzzle.
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We have to be mindful of how the marks we make are cuts along the curving surface of the cranial ball - working in individual strokes like this (rather than, say, drawing the eyesocket with an ellipse) helps a lot in reinforcing this idea of engaging with a 3D structure.
Try your best to employ this method when doing constructional drawing exercises using animals in the future, as closely as you can. Sometimes it seems like it's not a good fit for certain heads, but with a bit of finagling it can still apply pretty well. To demonstrate this for another student, I found the most banana-headed rhinoceros I could, and threw together this demo.
Before I finish up and assign you your revisions, I did want to call out a few minor points that you should also be aware of:
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I'm noticing that you seem to be drawing your construction with fainter, thinner lines for your earlier steps, and darker, thicker ones later on. I'm not sure if you're switching pens for this (you definitely should not be), but regardless, this is not a strategy you should be using in this course. Instead, each step introduces a solid 3D structure to your existing construction, and so every single mark should be drawn confidently, rather than attempting to differentiate it somehow. I recommend you take another look at the lobster and shrimp demos from Lesson 4's informal demos section, and note how each step is approached in the same manner. No step's marks are considered more important than any others'.
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I noticed in both your tiger drawings, the torsos ended up being quite long. Note that as explained here, the ribcage constitutes half the length of the torso, and the pelvis constitutes a quarter, with only a quarter left in between.
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Also note that as explained here, generally we draw the torso sausage such that it sags if it's got a sort of 'hanging belly' - that is, instead of adding the belly as an additional mass. We do this where we can simply because it's easier to draw additional masses that do not have to work against gravity. There will inevitably be situations where this is unavoidable of course, but it's still better to avoid it where we can.
All in all, I think you ultimately are demonstrating that had you taken more care in noting the feedback you'd received previously, you'd have likely done far better here. I can certainly see that potential in you, but you need to be more mindful, using the resources at your disposal instead of relying on your critiques to call things out that have already been made known to you.
You'll find your revisions assigned below.
Next Steps:
Please submit an additional 6 pages of animal constructions. For these, I want you to:
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Be sure only to work on one drawing on any given day. That is not to say you must complete a drawing in one day - in fact, I hope that you'll end up spreading each construction across multiple days, giving yourself as much time as is required. But, if you've worked on one animal construction in the given day, you should not yet start the next until the following day. This is to ensure that you're dedicating as much time as you can to each individual construction.
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On the page, write down the dates of each session, as well as an estimated amount of time spent during that session.
And of course, be sure to read through the feedback you've received previously with care.