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9:21 PM, Thursday April 15th 2021
edited at 9:21 PM, Apr 15th 2021

I think the problem is here, when you say: "I want to get good at all of these things before I move onto things I like". Why can't you start studying the things you like right now?

You were drawing the heads with satisfaction and you dropped the subject to go deep into perspective, do I get it right? You need just some perspective to draw the head in dynamic positions, and you can practice both at the same time.

It feels like you are a bit on a perfectionist path, which is exhausting.

edited at 9:21 PM, Apr 15th 2021
10:37 PM, Thursday April 15th 2021

the only reason why I want to get the boring stuff out of the way, is so I don't have to expand so greatly later in my artistic career and so I don't lose juju. I aslo struggled with doing what I like, even though I like creating and this comes less from knowing what to do and more about knowing how to do. I might be a perfectionist, or a masochist, because I find making progress from the boring things better than just doing something I like.

I used to draw as a child and perfectionism ruined me back then. Now it has settled and I have decided to take it more seriously (learning wise.)

What has made me really angry is that I have tried so many things and I still feel lost. I can't say it is perfectionism, because I haven't struggled with the urge to be perfect. My urge is to succeed and it frustrates me to not find progress.

Also, before I actually liked drawing heads, I spent day and night doing the loomis method before I actually enjoyed it. I practiced the loomis method because my fear is that I would not be able to do what I want in the future. I had a lot of time, considering this was before Covid and my schoolboard wasn't making me do an advanced math course in just 4 weeks like now.

Now, if you see differently then I am glad, since my opinion is just one.

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