View Full Submission View Parent Comment
2:19 AM, Saturday July 30th 2022

Hi! So, there's a ton of good things: the drawings are a lot clearer, the intersections are mostly well done, and they are a lot less messy. Your drawings are showing more volume and look more threedimensional overall, and the way the forms and masses interact is shown a lot better. That being said, there are still some issues:

  • The lineweight: you're using it on areas that don't need it at all, like the abdomen of the beetle. The butt of the beetle isn't crossing over anything, so there's no need at all for more lineweight.

  • Also, we are not overdrawing the sausages, that's only for the spheres/ellipses. It's not always, but it happens. On the ant, the upper leg looks sketchy, and there's no need at all for it to look that way. On the last insect, something similar happens, where it looks like you made a test run, and then, with a denser line, drew the "actual" lines.

Which is something we don't do at all. The lines that you make first, those are the lines you'll use. If you need to add volume or other shapes, you add it separately, as independent masses build on top of that initial construction. If that initial construction is a bit off, it does not matter, work with it nonetheless, it's more valuable what you'll learn from that, than drawing things without construction to make them look better, in the context of this course.

  • The excessive lineweight also undermines the work you made. On the ant's head, thanks to the lineweight, it looks like you drew a flat, triangular shape on it, even though you did construct it on top of the initial cranium sphere. Something similar happens to the grasshoppers head, which also looks flat even though you did construct it right; that's all thanks to excessive lineweight.

  • I made this to show you some other corrections. Take a look at the extra diagram on there too. One of the most important things there, is to keep our initial constructions and work on top of them, even if they're not accurate. The beetle is another example, where you just ignored your initial abdomen construction, and just built the shell on the air, without any interaction with your initial form.

So, as you see, you've fixed most of the issues, but there are still some things that can be improved. Taking these corrections into consideration, make one more drawing, of a beetle or dragonfly. Again, work big, just one page, and no detail. If you have any questions, I'll be happy to answer them. Good luck!

Next Steps:

  • One more drawing, of a beetle or a dragonfly, taking into consideration all of the corrections.
When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
4:19 PM, Tuesday August 2nd 2022

Oops... sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Okay so, here is the link to my revision, except this time it's not a report.

https://imgur.com/a/HMJmwOk

Hopefully this is good enough, I did my best to not apply line weight unless it was absolutely necessary, and never underlying the constructional forms.

Thanks for the critique, I really appreciate it.

2:30 AM, Saturday August 6th 2022

Hi! So this is a lot better. There are still some minor things, like that corner on the beetle's upper thorax, or some intersection lines on the legs that look a bit too flat, but you'll have plenty of time to practice those things on the next lesson. So, congratulations on finishing Lesson 4, and feel free to move on to Lesson 5!

Next Steps:

  • Move on to Lesson 5
This community member feels the lesson should be marked as complete. In order for the student to receive their completion badge, this critique will need 2 agreements from other members of the community.
4:20 PM, Saturday August 6th 2022

Thank you very much, your critique was greatly needed and much appreciated! you helped me a lot!

The recommendation below is an advertisement. Most of the links here are part of Amazon's affiliate program (unless otherwise stated), which helps support this website. It's also more than that - it's a hand-picked recommendation of something I've used myself. If you're interested, here is a full list.
Cottonwood Arts Sketchbooks

Cottonwood Arts Sketchbooks

These are my favourite sketchbooks, hands down. Move aside Moleskine, you overpriced gimmick. These sketchbooks are made by entertainment industry professionals down in Los Angeles, with concept artists in mind. They have a wide variety of sketchbooks, such as toned sketchbooks that let you work both towards light and towards dark values, as well as books where every second sheet is a semitransparent vellum.

This website uses cookies. You can read more about what we do with them, read our privacy policy.