2 users agree
5:16 PM, Monday October 25th 2021

Hey BowtieBuck!

Congratulations on completing on Lesson 2! I'll be critiquing your submission today. Lets get on with it!

The Arrows exercise can be really hard. Good work though. I see improvement in the second page. There are some mistakes that I would like to point out here. You have more than one line as line weight, you should avoid that. They should only be done with 1 line, no more so the line weight is not overdone. The arrows need to get bigger and bigger as they go towards the viewer. Both in size, and the spacing between each fold, as seen in this image https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/011d064f.jpg and this image https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/0f7c806c.jpg.

In your Organic forms, All your ellipses are neatly alligned to the minor axis. Your contour curves are hooked. Great job. I've noticed in the contour curves that sometimes the degrees of the curves remain constant as we move along the form. So try to make a conscious effort to change the degree of contour lines while sliding along the form.

The Texture Analysis exercise looks good. The only thing you have to look out for is the gradient. You can look at this image to understand more about it https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/7d1f3467.jpg.

In the Dissections exercise, you seem to have trouble with wrapping the texture around the form. https://d15v304a6xpq4b.cloudfront.net/lesson_images/e58b7887.jpg. You had some trouble with the gradient too. But you did improve in the second page. Overall you did great in this exercise.

Form intersections is a difficult exercise. It takes practice to get them right.You did a great job in keeping your forms Coherant, cohesive and resembling that they share the same scene (shallow foreshortening). Here are some corrections http://imgur.com/a/PK9uIc3. You did greatly improve here. Great job.

The Organic intersections exercise was good. Here are some minor corrections I made. http://imgur.com/a/ekmzRvf.

I think you did a great job in this exercise. But unfortunately, I think you need to work a little more on your arrows. The revision is one page of arrows, just one page to get you to really understand whatyou should focus on while working on this exercise. You can refer this link https://drawabox.com/lesson/2/organicarrows to understand more about arrows. I hope you'll work on this. I'll be waiting for your response.

Next Steps:

One page of arrows

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
3:35 PM, Thursday October 28th 2021

Thank you very much for the detailed feedback and for taking the time to show me corrected versions in addition to explaining them. I agree with your feedback, especially your suggestion about the distance between the parallel sections of ribbons, which I was unaware I was doing but can see now where they need work.

2:14 PM, Friday October 29th 2021
edited at 2:14 PM, Oct 29th 2021

Hi BowtieBuck,

You are welcome! It would be great if you could share the image of your revisions (one page of arrows) so that I could mark this lesson as complete for you!

Next Steps:

One page of Arrows

When finished, reply to this critique with your revisions.
edited at 2:14 PM, Oct 29th 2021
2:52 PM, Friday October 29th 2021


This page only has four arrows (two of which get cut off in the end) but I tried to squish the 'further' sections together and to start with a smaller width in the distance.

Please let me know if I have misunderstood or you would like me to retry.

Thank you.

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Sakura Pigma Microns

A lot of my students use these. The last time I used them was when I was in high school, and at the time I felt that they dried out pretty quickly, though I may have simply been mishandling them. As with all pens, make sure you're capping them when they're not in use, and try not to apply too much pressure. You really only need to be touching the page, not mashing your pen into it.

In terms of line weight, the sizes are pretty weird. 08 corresponds to 0.5mm, which is what I recommend for the drawabox lessons, whereas 05 corresponds to 0.45mm, which is pretty close and can also be used.

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