There used to be a schizo post here, but the one with the schizo post did not load (atleast not yet, if it ever loads then consider this an accidental TLDR) (I suspect server error) If you wanted that then the imgur link has some shard of it that remains. The original schizo post was something along the lines of "why am I cursed with a sudden interest in drawing at 17 and not at 7 when it could have made an absurd difference in my abilities If I had this interest at 7??????" and also a little of "I fear of ending like Chris-Chan, 10+years of literally crazy (in my case its just a sudden interest, maybe a bit obssesive at times but Im not gonna develop a damm tulpa like Chris because of it) devotion to the arts that ends in nothing but wasted time and ruined life. Also "hard work doesnt guarantee success and that scares me, Im not smart enough for smart work because Im emotionally not good enough and dont even know where to begin".