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5:16 PM, Friday July 22nd 2022

Hey!

First of all thank you for this in-depth feedback, I did some note taking based on it and I took a second look at the lesson 4 feedback as you mentioned as well. Also I will not do any more official homework on my sketchbook, I will stick to printer paper in the future and in this revision.

Here is the actual homework.

https://imgur.com/a/9wkzHsF

I've added a third page to Organic intersections, because I felt that the first page was full of mistakes and I didn't do my best work. And also I have added some detail to the head fur of the lion, even though you said not to add any detail, I felt that the whole mass ballon around his head looked really weird, so I added some.

Now that being said, these animal pages are not my first attempts at those given days. When I was working I usually did around 1-2 failed attempts pages and just started over, because I wanted to show my best efforts on these given revisions. Let me know if that's okay to do or if I should always just show my "first shots" in the homework. I will attach my failed attempts if you want to look at them here however: https://imgur.com/a/neohafm

Also I went on a trip just after I got your feedback, so when I was there I still decided to do some drawings on my sketchbook (I didn't want to take all the printer paper haha) I still did some animal studies while I was there (Note that this was before I started doing actual homework) I didn't shy away on adding texture on some of these, because these were just for fun. Anyway, I thought I might add them here if you want to take a look:

https://imgur.com/a/J9qJl1w

That being said feel free to completely ignore the second and the third links and just give the feedback on the actual homework revisions.

All that being said, I still feel that I did a bunch of mistakes even on my actual homework, so if it is for the best I am more then welcome to do more of these revisions.

Thank you so much,

Saulius

6:20 PM, Friday July 22nd 2022

In regards to your work not being limited to what was assigned, you should only be doing what is explicitly assigned. I go into this in more detail in the updated Lesson 0 video that goes over how to get the most out of this exercise, but to summarize, if you allow yourself to have false starts, then you're also giving yourself more reason to simply not take as much time as you need for each construction. Since, after all, you're allowing yourself to throw attempts away and start over.

In regards to your organic intersections, your work is generally coming along well, I have just two points to call out:

  • Always try and draw your forms such that they are as simple in their silhouette as they reasonably can be. Avoid additional complexity, like these inward curves we see here on your third page.

  • When it comes to line weight, remember that it should not be used to generally or arbitrarily reinforce the silhouettes of your forms. Instead, it should be used to clarify how different forms overlap one another, and in a fashion that is limited to the localized areas where those overlaps occur, as shown here. Again, this was primarily present in your third page - the first two were much better in that regard.

Continuing onto your animal constructions, by and large these are much better. There is still definitely room for improvement on the way in which your additional masses' silhouettes are designed (they still tend to be somewhat blobby, like this one here) but they're definitely improving as well, and in general you are demonstrating strong overall spatial reasoning skills.

Just be sure to periodically revisit my prior feedback - especially what I shared in terms of the design of your additional masses - as you continue to practice these concepts in the future. Also, I would recommend not including any contour lines on your additional masses, as they're not actually contributing anything to their individual solidity. It seems like you may be doing this just as a matter of course, as memorized behaviour, rather than considering what those additional marks are contributing to the construction. As always, you should be considering this about all the marks you draw, during the planning phase of the ghosting method.

I'll go ahead and mark this lesson as complete.

Next Steps:

Move onto the 250 cylinder challenge, which is a prerequisite for lesson 6.

This critique marks this lesson as complete.
10:21 AM, Saturday July 23rd 2022

Great! I'll move on to cylinders and take additional notes from this critique.

Thank you

Saulius

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